Glenn Dobson
English 101
Anna Zarnecka
Speak Memory
9-26-2013
Locked in to Change I often wonder why circumstances beyond our control influence what we become, how it changes are mental abilities into a state of turmoil and determination to change. I’m going to examine how rehabilitation and incarceration go hand in hand in the change process. Although I might have a different point of view on the issues than others, the overall consensus is undeniable refuted about myself. Abstract changes within my being have initiated long term success, and purpose, physically, mentally, and behaviorally. I never could get comfortable with change, but over the years change has become easier. I came to the realization that if I didn’t make some changes my life was going to continue down the road to loss of freedom, loss of the privilege to control my own behavior. Being in prison with a forced structured environment takes away mental stability and physical health, moreover it initiates hours of thinking as if time stood still. The planning procedures to cope with the situation, and the challenges were as if I was running a marathon cross country. I made the decision to change; it was time to identify the problems. I came to the conclusion that most of the changes that I wanted to make ultimately start with the proper way of thinking like the ultimate super computer thoughts became reality, and most of what I didn’t like about myself started in the mind first.
I believe one of the biggest changes that has helped me be successful in the change process is journaling as if I was a teletype typewriter so were my thoughts at any time, and I would write about them; over time looking back my thoughts helped me to develop areas of change that needed to be worked on within my journal. Some of my challenges were getting healthy, which meant eating better, stop smoking, exercise, and to stop procrastinating. Procrastination is like poison for me, like strychnine is to a rat, the more I do it the worse off I get, it becomes negative, an emotion that is a constant battle to the change process. Being more assertive, not always putting things off, and doing them when thought about, alleviates the compound buildup of procrastination. In structured environment like prison, where the term “three hot’s and a cot” originated, it was much easier to not procrastinate, when you’re heavy steel bar door opened to let you out of your cage, it was move your butt or suffer the consequences. Although incarceration or prison sounds horrible to a civilian that has never spent time in a jail or prison life on the inside is adaptable and rehabilitates. I found that once you begin to overlook the things I took advantage of in the free world such as being able to go to the fridge to fill my belly whenever I pleased or being able to shower whenever I wanted, I noticed purpose reenter my life, as if I was taking care of a new born baby. I felt as if the light switch had been turned on within my mind, and even though there was a fifteen foot fence outside with shimmering sharp razor wire I felt as though I was free. All I could think about was how to better myself I volunteered my time to help develop a drug treatment program, and was part of developing a therapeutic community within Olympic Corrections Center and became the Senior Coordinator which is the highest level within the structure board of positions. Helping others with their problems became my highest priority. Before long I was nominated Business Lead, and was responsible for coordinating all staff members throughout there day to their schedules, and duties within the community. I feel that this path of being a leader has helped me to become who I am today someone that strives to be successful, wanting to learn new things, the fact that my lifestyle now is different helps me to continue to work consistently, and recognize where it could lead if not managed. I have persevered over certain areas in life; the benefits of leading me toward becoming a new person far outweigh the life I once lived. The challenges of a positive stress free existence are exciting and motivational, moving me forward to what is ahead. I see better than an eagle that plummets to earth after its prey, focusing on the positive applying myself one step at a time striving to achieve a new life. Although I am still working consistently on these issues, and difficulties that are ahead, I also look back at how far I’ve come, the changes that have been successful in overcoming, and the obstacles that stood in my way. Willpower and determination to change are a driving force within me to continue to self-regulate my behavior, and make better decisions while living a life worthy and proud of whom I’ve become, and the freedom of making choices on my own accord. Change can be astronomical, daunting and even fearful, but the excruciating anticipation in my heart and soul compound my obsession in the process of learning to become a responsible productive member of today’s society. Failure is not an option, like a determined salmon struggling upstream to return home, so will I become successful.