Tinderalla
Meet Charlotte, your average inner city whore. Charlotte is a natural blonde, but her hair is a sickly green. Trendy. You’ve got crap hair dye and Boots’ amateur till guard to thank for that. She has a piercing just above her lip and to the left. Cool, and an ear stretcher from Primark. ‘#Rebel’, she posted. Charlotte knows what she wants, and she knows exactly how many blowjobs she has to give before she gets it, a real go getter in school, she even has her name on the girl’s toilet wall, next to another kid called ‘Slut’. They must know each other well, because it’s written everywhere else too!
So anyway, Charlotte is lonely at the minute, with all the boys she knows all either in prison or another girl, she’s lost. Looking for the new angry birds to pass the time, she comes across a brand new app, Tinder.
‘OMG!’ she shrieked. Amazed, she swipes eagerly through all the other people too lazy to put on shoes and go outside and get drunk and do drugs like all the other kids, all the boys who haven’t quite got a firm grasp on their sexuality yet and all the people pretending to be pop stars. Suddenly though, she come across the perfect guy, Dan, boy is he dreamy, with his remarkably blue eyes, like two swirling oceans of cute, his black hair in a swift, cool quiff to complement those great dimples she wishes she could just fall asleep in. She types to him, and they fall in love. It’s only been 6 minutes but it’s like they’re, it’s like they’re connected somehow. Soul mates, if you’re a moron.
Her daily Facebook astrology post did say this would happen! She is a Taurus after all. It’s been a whole day since she ‘met’ Dan, and he pops the question she’s being waiting for, the words every woman wants to hear, those letters that just make her melt and feel all warm inside. ‘Wanna see a pic of my dick ;)?’ he sent, cheekily. This one is clear cut Charlotte, yes, obviously. I mean seeing it in person after a meal and maybe a first date is so overrated nowadays, it is 2014. You’re a big girl after all too right? He crunches over, trying to expose his pasty white body and, snap, there it is in all it’s a glory. Contrary to popular belief, romance is in fact, not dead ladies and gentleman. Off to a great start, Charlotte asks if the two of them can meet up, Emoji’s just aren’t enough obviously, and Dan agrees. Thursday it is. The park. The one with the swings, and the used needles.
Finally, it’s Thursday, and Tinderella’s two ugly step brothers Chris and Dave are on over watch. Armed with no less than cricket bats and determination, they carefully observe Charlotte as she steps toward the meeting point. Would Dan be there? Would he like her? Would he able to get into those leggings without a problem? Charlotte constantly worried, and then, she caught a figure in the corner of her eye, tall, dashing, a true knight in McKenzie armour, and he continued to walk toward her. Could it be her man?
As he got closer she started to realise it clearly couldn’t be Dan, this man was in his late 40’s, bald and had green eyes, she sighed with desperation. It was strange though, it was as if this man was fixated on her, striding in her direction faster and faster, before he was so close she started to feel uncomfortable. He stopped in front of her and said only one word, the word that had would send a chill down her spine.
‘Charlotte?’ he said.
Later that day Police were anonymously informed of a man found bleeding and unconscious in the local park, Paul, his real name was. A known sex offender living with his mother and reported before for using pictures from the internet to falsify his identity as a teenager. That day changed Charlotte, from then on she only sucked off guys who could prove they were who say they were.
A truly horrifying story, think twice girls and boys.