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Loss History

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Submitted By kimquillen1971
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LOSS HISTORY/PERSONAL AWARENESS
Kimberly Quillen
University of the Cumberlands
November 18, 2015

When it comes to loss, I have experienced quite a bit in my life, beginning at a young age. The problem is I don’t remember the specific circumstances very clearly and I am not sure how I reacted. The first deaths that I remember in my family were of my great-grandparents. I had 4 great-grandparents living on my father’s side of my family and it seems like they all passed away within a few years of each other. I know it is rare for people to know their great-grandparents very well, but I did have the opportunity to get to know each of mine that were still living. I remember finding out that they had passed, but being so young (around the age of 5-7) I didn’t quite know what to do or exactly what was going on. This beginning of the losses in my life seem so distant, almost like a dream, but I do remember the way that my family handled the situation. There wasn’t much crying from anyone, not my grandparents, who just lost their parents, not my dad who had just lost his grandparents, not from anyone really. Looking back on the situations I realize that my family completely internalized their grief and I never did see them letting it out. I am sure they did behind closed doors, but they didn’t do it in front of me. The first loss that I remember being so very close to me was that of my grandfather, my dad’s dad. Papaw was so important to me. From the time I was born I stayed at his and my mamaw’s house because both of my parents worked and they were my babysitters every day of my life until I started school, and actually after that because I got on the bus at their house and also got off the bus there in the afternoon. My mamaw always described me as the daughter that she never had, and while my papaw never said it I could tell that he felt the same way.

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