Love vs. Lust
Although love is the most common term for a person to express his/her attraction to someone, but love can be just a layer covering lust underneath, which creates a mixed feeling that could lead to unwanted situation.
Love is a strong feeling of affection for another person. In Martin Luther Kings’s Pilgrimage to Nonviolence he indicated to different kinds of love; it can be eros, philia and agape love. Philia love is the kind of love that is purely of any romantic or sexual feelings. This is the kind of feelings that we have towards our neighbors, friends, and the people around us whom we are fond of. Eros love is known as romantic love. Agape love is the unconditional love or disinterested love for example the kind of love that God have towards us or love we have for our community and we do not wait for anything back. In contrary, lust is the urge or passionate to want to have someone mostly for sexual satisfaction. This kind of feeling is usually evident between individuals of the opposite gender. For lust to exist, love need not be present. Actually, lust can be termed as the opposite of love and it focuses more on the physical aspects. Lust is not necessarily in the term of sexual feelings but also it is the urge to want to posses’ items like clothes for the purpose of lavishing it. It is possible for someone to have a mix feeling between love and lust.
In love, people desire the best for those people they love and they would do anything to make them happy. Love entails even sacrificing those things that we treasure most for the sake of our loved ones. While lust, people will do anything to get what they want. In love, people’s intentions are pure towards each other and there are no hidden genders. Those who are lusting will want to make you happy but for sexual benefits. They make their targets believe that they have their best intentions at heart while indeed they intentions are just selfish. If someone loves another, they will not be afraid to point out the weaknesses of those people they love. This is because they want to make the best out of them, so they do not appreciate those whom they love to be on a wrong side or to make wrong decisions. They will correct them and support them. They will do it because their love is pure and sincere. For example, form the film Philadelphia, Miguel was always standing beside Andy even when Andy became very sick Miguel was on his side taking care of him and supporting him in the court. With lust things are different. The target is a victim of the other person.
Usually lovers are not out to impress but to be their real selves in the eyes of their lovers. If it is only lust that is driving a couple, they tend to live a lie, they do all they can to try and impress each other. They go ahead to even pretend to be what they are not. For example, they lie on where they live, what they do, the work they do, and they will say anything to impress and that was not in the relationship between Andy and Miguel. Neither one was trying to impress the other. Lying cannot go on forever and it reaches a point where either of them gets caught. After having the desire fulfilled, they move away. It is therefore necessary that people become aware of the difference between love and lust. These two feelings can be very confusing and misleading if not carefully meditated. Lust ends up hurting the parties’ feelings and even breaking their heart when misunderstood, while love ends up making both parties feeling appreciated, cared for, and wanted and we saw that in the relationship between Andy and Miguel when Andy did not care about his health, Miguel was very mad at him and was taking care of him all the time just like a nurse.
Lust is usually very convenient and comfortable. It entices our emotions but it is never complicated because its goals are very clear and the path is well prepared. Furthermore, the end result is usually predicted. Relationships based on lust are very attractive and easy to fall into and out off. What they see and what they want from these relationships mostly shapes the individual. They are then easily broken because it does not take a long time before either of the parties realizes that it is not exactly what they have been looking for. People end up getting frustrated, they feel they have either wasted their time and resources or even wasted themselves in the process.
On the other hand, real love has no regrets. It does take quite some time to fall in love and actually realize that the feeling that individuals feel towards each other is actually love and not lust. In love, every resource is never a waste since it is used to comfort each party. The time used is also never a waste, this time is used in doing the things that best express the mutual part of the feelings. None of the party feels wasted because even if their love went bad, they feel that whatever they did was for good. The moments shared in love are sacred and can never be overcome by those hurriedly and selfishly spent in lust.
While lust is controlled by the desires of flesh, love is controlled by the heart. With love, a feeling of fondness, appreciation, attraction and affection for a person originates from the bottom of the heart. No one in love can express what he or she really feels. This feeling is very mysterious and complicated but at the same time it is very sweet and the best that a human being can experience. Lust originates from the eyes and bodily desires. The aim is usually to satisfy what a person feels and to salvage what the eyes see. The feeling is just superficial and is only good as it lasts. No one remembers what the other person makes them feel when they are not together. It is not a surprise when those people in a relationship based on lust do not even know the most intimate things about their partners. Examples of these intimate things are the names of their parents, the number of sibling they have, or the date of their birthday. Knowing such small details about a person speaks volumes on how we care for them.
Feelings brought about lust are felt only as the lust lasts. When the bodies are satisfied, the parties even forget what it feels like to have each other around. The two persons never merge to become one on a spiritual level. There are few cases where the two may learn to live together and actually understand how to coexist with each other. In cases of true love, the individuals are driven by chemistry for the other and harmony with each other. No matter the distance between them, they are always connected in a certain level. It is this connection that keeps them together no matter the challenges that might threaten their relationship.
In, conclusion, In these two feelings, sex speaks only the language of the body. In love sex is a communication of what the two feels. In lust, sex becomes a game. The core of it is just pleasure. There is no guarantee for satisfaction since the two are up to enjoying themselves and not appreciating each other’s bodies. In addition, a relationship based on lust is mostly built on sex, while that based on love is built on pure affection. Therefore, the worthwhile of love is immeasurable as compared to that of love.