how does one define love? or even understand..? i was in first standard, and used to walk to school with a girl one year older than me.. i liked her.. in 2nd standard, i sat on the first bench with a girl, i liked her.. then a third boy came to the bench and at times when he would sit and talk alone with the girl, i'd feel jealous (2nd std!!).. 3rd std, i sat with a girl who didn't look good at all, yet we talked and understood each other.. i liked her.. 4th and 5th were a different story altogether.. my friends formed a group of four, each assuming to love a girl of the class.. my ego wouldn't allow me to rest for i was one of the big guys in the class.. so just to show off, i told them i loved this girl (diff from the prev ones).. and ended up really liking her though we've rarely had conversations. 8th std, some girls looked good, but there was nothing specific i liked. 10th, i went to school by van, and one girl who used to come in the van looked so beautiful to me, yet unappealing to my other buddies. 12th, i talked with a girl, met her, understood her well, know her strengths and weaknesses, etc. and think am in love with her. she also is. what do i make of my life? i feel stupid, guilty too often; how could i possibly have loved so many girls? name it infatuation, it doesn't change my guilt. i feel often times.. what kind of a person am i? by loving so many ppl, am i not betraying the one who i finally end up with? i understand it is human, but have i not crossed the limits somewhere? where is my love life headed to? can i actually, having liked so many different girls over the various stages in my life, be trusted to love one girl for my life, whoever becomes my wife? it's only too common for guys to like many girls, but how is it with girls? do they have several crushes, infatuations as well? is it that guys just express it too openly and girls are a bit reserved? is it true that girls have stronger emotions in the lines of love than guys, but only masquerade it for the society? if one can love so many different ppl, not in different roles like mother, father, wife but just as a lover, can we actually say that true love exists? aren't we just being animals again, looking to mate with the best? then where does civilization come in, how does it change our life? what animals do in the open, we do in a secluded place; it doesn't change the facts.
Isn’t there true love somewhere in this world? After all, if our love for each other is perverted, it is reasonable to assume that these are reflections of real love, something that perhaps we have no experience of in this world.. something that perhaps exists beyond the very confines of this universe, or the innumerable other universes as well..
And the quest goes on.. until one understands that by our very nature, we are infinitesimal and limited in comparison with the vast universe, and that to understand perfection, to understand the real meaning of love, we have to surrender to God. He can reciprocate in whatever way we want to with Him, for He is perfection personified. Of course, with our present eyes, we can’t even see what’s happening beyond four walls, forget God. But one day, in all sincerity, if we seek for real happiness, which is of course non existent in this world, by God’s grace, we may realize there is much more to life than just whimsically wasting our life and time. This is the essence and conclusion of all scriptures, not some joke that simply you worship etc. etc. Their real message is to search after eternal happiness, instead of wasting our lives with an animal like propensity to simply eat, sleep, mate and defend. As a human endowed with ‘higher’ intellect, we should seek for real and permanent happiness, instead of temporary and false joys which ultimately result in a miserable situation for us; petrol is a primary example, and you can make innumerable allegories.. so let us search for that truth from God.. beyond which will remain nothing to be known, after knowing which we will be situated in a trance from which the greatest disaster cannot move us. Let us search for that eternal bliss.