LOVE YOU GODLY…

I want to love you fully. I want to love you without the filter of the past, the anxiety of the future, or the uncertainty of the present. I don’t want to think about the if, ands, or buts of our love I just want to hold on to this feeling forever. Our love is beautiful…Your love gives me heat in the middle of winter, an ocean breeze in the middle of the Sahara…Your love opens my eyes to colors I never knew existed…..Your love looks so good I can taste it…Its like whip cream, light and fluffy…like chocolate, rich and smooth…your love is tailor made just for me…. highlights my best attributes….covers the parts of me I’m still working on…This love soothes me…. wakes me up first thing in the morning… this love arouses me…You got that Brown Sugar love….You are the perfect verse over a tight beat… I want to wake up everyday surrounded by your love, encouraged by your support, amazed at your gentleness with my heart.
I want to love you so deeply; our love bleeds into the world and kills hate. Our love is that powerful, that strong…our love can be great. It’s up to you and I to decide that this is the love we want. Pure love is an endangered emotion…It’s been diluted too many times with pain, fear, abuse, and distrust…. We have to cleanse our love of the past, so that it can heal our present…fuel our tomorrow.
When a person requires a blood transfusion to live, doctors are selective about the blood they place in a person. It must be as clean as possible so that it doesn’t cause the recipient infection…oftentimes the blood undergoes filtering several times so that it is as pure as possible. The blood may have never caused any issues for the person who donated it, but when it is going into a new person it has to be stripped from any impurities so that the new recipient has the best possible opportunity to live with that new blood pulsating through their veins.
Baby we’ve go to filter this love if we want to have the best chance to live….We have to strip this love from the impurities we’ve placed in it and start new..refreshed..We can’t take old blood into a new day or we’ll keep suffering the same infection from yesterday. The filtering process may take time, it may have to undergo several cycles of cleansing but it is necessary if it cleanses the love from toxicity. I don’t want to take the love from my old relationship and place it in this new relationship…
Our love hasn’t always been perfect, it hasn’t always been easy…some days we let the infection carry into tomorrow…. claiming to start new….. I think it’s time we get back to the basics…. Truly love one another the way Christ loves us…. It’s time that my mouth reflects not my emotions but my God… May words flow from my mouth like honey….slow, thoughtful, but full and rich. I want my words to caress your ears with care, grace, and humility. I want to love you so deeply it cast out fear…. mine and yours… The truth is it’s hard to learn perfect love…. love that does not come with conditions…. but you know what I’m learning? The more I get to know God…. the more I understand His heart…. His love.. The love that provides heat in the winter and a cool breeze in the Sahara….
I may not understand perfect love with you, it may evade me when you show your humanity and disappoint me but have I not disappointed God? Disappointed him one too many times? How can I truly chase after the heart of God and shun the person who I committed (in His presence) to share all of my tomorrows with. I may not achieve my goal everyday but just because you know you won’t always win doesn’t mean you should never try…. I will try every day to love you fully. To love you with that 1 John 4:18 love.. “ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” (NASB)
If you ever strip down my feelings for you…the reasons I said “I do”…or carried your seed within me for months….if you ever filter my heart…. I want you to find love…. not fear. May my love for you be at the base of everything I do for you..with you…beside you….
I want to love you so deeply I cast out any fear….any insecurity…any possibility of pain. There is no room for that in love…there is only room for sincerity, purity, non judgment, and security…I want my love to be the purest love that runs to your heart.. devoid of any concerns, pain, or past…. I will love you fully, deeply, greatly…
God, let my love purify the most painful parts of his heart. I want to filter my heart so thoroughly that nothing but love exists when you’re done. God help me to be the person he needs me to be…. a healing kiss on life’s worst wounds. Help me to be the wife you called me to be, regardless of whether or not he is the husband you called him to be. Let my love have no conditions, no stipulations… I want my love for him to be birthed out of the love You have for me…and that I have for you. I stood before you, my friends, and family June 21, 2008 and promised to give the best pieces of me, work on the worst parts of me, and let you handle the rest…I don’t just want to be your other half, the moon to your stars or the sun to your sky… Baby, I want to love you Godly….