One of the key roles of parents is to guide their children to a good life, and if possible, a better life than those of the parents. However, in Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng, James and Marilyn have conflicting views of what a better life would be for Lydia which prevent her from creating her own sense of identity and ultimately to her death. Lydia is the middle child, the favorite of her homemaker mother and college professor father. While growing up, she was under constant pressure to fit into their expectations of fulfilling the dreams they were unable to pursue. In Marilyn's case that her daughter receives the best education possible, in James' case that Lydia fits in and is socially successful. She takes on these dreams because …show more content…
While her mother wants her to go straight home after school, her father encourages her to go out and spend time with her friends. For instance, when the girls at school ask Lydia to birthday parties and to roller-skating, she says no to everything because she would think of her mother, “her face peering through the kitchen window, waiting for her to arrive” (143). It got to the point where the other girls stopped asking. Under the guidance from both her parents she isn’t allowed to act on her own desires and thus looses the chance to create a social life. James makes it clear to Lydia that being well liked is the only true accomplishment to life, “I know this year has been tough, and your mother’s been asking a lot of you,” James said. “Just remember, school isn’t everything. It’s not as important as friendship, or love” (226). Having these conflicting signals only made it harder for Lydia to comply to her parents and as a result distanced her from them because the thought of letting both of them down was unbearable.
And when her parents agree on something for Lydia it was often for completely different reasons, “We’ll skip you ahead in science this fall,” Marilyn said. “After college biology, I’m sure high school physics will be a snap.” “You’ll meet some of the older students,” James had told her, “and make some new friends” he’d wink (138). Lydia is constantly being pressured by her parents to be a certain way and no ability to act on her own or to decide what’s best for