9/19/13

A life threatening disease in a child can be likened to an elephant in the room. It's unusual to find an elephant in the family living room. You have not been trained to take care of said elephant, and who wants to get stomped by those huge feet?!? Better to just ignore it - it will go away, or blend in, or something...eventually...right? No, it won't. And the sad part is that when you ignore the elephant, you ignore the child, the family, and the disease. That's not helping anyone.
I understand no one wants to bring up bad news. No one wants to see their friend cry. No one wants to hear how awful a child is doing, but really you need to put your big boy/girl underwear on and ask. The best thing you can do for a parent of a sick child is ask. I'm not talking about ear infections and the flu here (though it's still nice to ask, so they know you care). I'm talking the BIG elephants - lupus, cystic fibrosis, and one near and dear to my heart, kidney disease. Diseases that are in need of a cure; a cure we hope to find in enough time to save our son or daughter, before it’s too late.
When dealing with parents of sick children, do not compare situations and do not say "I know how you feel". That saying, meant to bring about a common bond, just separates you further actually. The parent of a child that just suffered an allergy induced asthma attack is most certainly experiencing a traumatic event! It is not in any way, shape, or form equivalent to a child needing a tracheotomy. Do not say you know how that parent feels, unless your son or daughter has a tracheotomy as well. I refuse to say I know how a parent feels in my own little kidney group, because each of our cases are different! I do not know what it is like to bury my child. I do know what is like to be told my child is going to die. I do know what it is like to see him stop breathing, hear a