English (11254 Views)

Priest is about to wed a husband and a wife. He is just finishing up the ceremony.

Priest: Do you John Smith, take this here Josephine to be your wife for all days till death do you part?

Husband: Well, what do you think?

Priest (confused): I don't know.

Husband: Do you really think I brought 200 of my closest friends and relatives, who all by the way dressed in fancy clothes,

who all brushed their teeth and trimmed their beards, who spent gallons of perfume and hair products in order

to look pretty and smell nice, just so I can announce to the world that this is not the girl I want to marry? Do you

really think that is the case?

Priest: Well, I, I...

Husband: Another thing. Death.

Priest: What?

Husband: Death. Death. Why would you even mention it in your question? This is a wedding. In case you didn't notice, word death is a little depressing.

I don't think it fits the occasion. It's more like a word you would mention at, oh here is the idea, the funeral or something.

Are you new at this?

Priest (quietly): No, but obviously you are. I wouldn't worry about it, just give it a couple of years of marriage, and death won't sound so depressing anymore.

Husband: And how the hell would you know? How many times have you been married?

Priest: I cannot marry. I'm a priest.

Husband: Well, ain't that just peachy. A single guy.

Priest: I just say what they tell me. Just for your information, I'm getting a lot of feedback from almost half of the guys I wed. They all basically say the same thing; wedding

rocks, marriage sucks.

Husband: And the other half?

Priest: Dead men tell no tales.

Husband: Damn. Don't you think you're exaggerating just a little.

Priest: A little maybe, but not too much. Speaking of exaggerating;do you really have 200 friends and relatives?

Husband: Well,