MGG201W – Marriage Guidance – facilitative couples counselling Theme ONE – Understanding couples Intimacy involves: love, affection and caring, deep attachment to another person. The TRIPOD of couple relationships An intimate relationship consists of three factors that form a tripod on which the relationship rests. 1. Passionate attraction (PA) 2. Mutual expectations (ME) 3. Personal intentions (PI) Passionate attractions (PA) → Individual experiences intensely pleasurable sensations when thinking about or being with a new partner. → Blushing, trembling, breathlessness, high sexual desire → Referred to as infatuation = passing love “a foolish and unreasoning love’ → Infatuation is not a realistic / accurate appraisal of the relationship / idealisation → Negative / flaws in the idealised beloved may be intellectually recognised, but disregarded as endearingly special. Person chooses to ignore the negatives → Normal phase in the process of relationships → Infatuation can lead to a lasting relationship – but it mostly fades away and relationship based on infatuation alone will fail. Love → Involves physical attraction - deeper → Love encompasses PA, ME and PI → People rely mostly on life experiences to guide them to their own unique way of demonstrating love. → Eric Fromm “love is active concern for the life and growth of the person we love” → Love is deep, unselfish, caring, deep respect Hauck’s basic principles about love • It is not just the person you love, but rather what he/she does for you - actions speak louder than verbal promises of love and devotion. • Just like any business relationship, you have to invest in the relationship so as to benefit from its rewards - love requires a reciprocal investment from both parties • Love is like a business partnership – it needs management - rules to ensure it remains mutually
