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Isaiah Williams
Professor Hemington
English 1A, 9:30 Section
28 January 2016

Marrying Too Young

Do you believe in young marriage? For centuries young marriage has often been the practice of many individuals. Whether through cultural, religious, or familial beliefs, marriage early on in the stages of a youth’s life has been widely integrated into societal structure. And as such, has in turn been largely studied as more and more data pertaining to certain trends grew evermore apparent. Adopted earlier on in the ever-growing quest for civil advancement, young marriage would’ve been more precisely dubbed as child marriage in accordance with the fact that a large number of youth were married off as early as fifteen years of age. In today’s society, the more extreme practice is generally frowned upon as much as it is ill-boding and largely not recommended, however, marriage occurring as early as at eighteen years of age still persists to this day. In 2014, data presented by the Pew Research Center through the March Current Population Survey concluded that the percentage of people being married ages 18 – 32 years of age, though showing decline from recent years, remained at thirty-six percent. Some people believe that young marriage could be an economic boon to those involved as a 2013 study presented through the National Marriage Project's 2013 "Knot Yet" report concluded that the highest percentage of people ages 20 - 28 who considered themselves "highly satisfied"
Williams 2 with their lives had been married, as opposed to single or cohabiting. Others, on the other hand, believe that being married so young could in fact prove more strenuous than advantageous as that same organization also published their findings that people who married in their teens were two to three times more likely to divorce than people who married in their twenties or older. I believe that being married too young could prove detrimental to a person’s individual potential whether it be success-wise or through personal character growth. I believe young marriage could prove disastrous to an individual’s career growth. Though marrying young may appeal to you when you’re in the moment and caught up in love, it has been shown to hamper opportunities that may have been once present. Usually if one were to wish to become a CEO of a major company or conglomerate they would generally need to put in more than just the bare minimum of work required and often times refraining from clocking out the moment your scheduled time has been fulfilled. This, however, often times becomes a problem when tied down with someone awaiting your return. Most networking events and opportunities take place at night and on the weekends. And as a mass of anecdotal evidence would suggest, those times are generally reserved for your partner, with whom you share a covenant. Thus, as evidence would suggest, the notion of marrying young can often come coupled with the burden of reaching for success whilst shackled. For example, my own father and mother were kinship spirits being together in their younger years, both chefs, they had promising futures. However, when they married young (coupled with a few additions to the family), opportunities they would have otherwise had were stripped from them. College was
Williams 3 less and less of an option as their focus shifted more towards general stability in the household as the number of household members increased. This gave them less time to pursue other costly ventures that could have proven beneficial to the longevity of a more long-term success whilst generating generational wealth as opposed to a “good income”. And a little more than six years into the marriage, they divorced. Evidence shows that often times once a pair settled down and tied the knot younger in their more ambitious years, the same ambition that kept them up at night as their brain vigorously strove for new concepts and ideas gradually subsided the deeper the marriage became. Through this, coupled with the anecdotal evidence given through my mother and father experienced, I believe young marriage can prove detrimental to an individual’s career growth. In addition, I also believe that marrying too young can often prove to be more to the detriment of an individual’s personal character growth. It’s no myth that in most people’s younger years they tend to think as if they have themselves figured out as well as the rest of the world. However, evidence to the contrary is proven on a daily basis by individuals of varying demographics. Regularly, a lot people can attribute their favorite and most meaningful moments with their friends to helping one another through breakups or drinking whilst mingling and expanding their experiences through various, sometimes dubious, social circles. Marrying young, while lacking in social experience, can recurrently leave many an individual to their immaturities even later down the line. This can be seen more readily with people who marry closer to their teens as they feel an obligation to be confined to a set demeanor
Williams 4 stemming from the fact that that was who their partner had married and not another variation of themselves. In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Committed, she argues that we choose partners partly as an expression of the deepest aspirations we perceive in ourselves. In other words, “Your spouse becomes the most gleaming possible mirror through which your emotional individualism is reflected back to the world.” – Elizabeth Gilbert. Despite this, it’s apparent that most individuals don’t exactly know who they are or want to be until later in their years as the testimonies given in the many interviews conducted by Aida Edemariam would aid in supporting. For example, John and Dan met online when John was 19 and Dan was 17. Hitting it off rather heatedly, they were together for a year before life intervened and they were separated. Meeting 2 years later, the two rediscovered their passion for each other more vigorously than their previous encounters. Due to this, they decided to get married. However, after four years of civil partnership John and Dan had filed for a divorce. “The problem was getting married in our early 20s,” says John, “We were too young, simple as that. I wish both of us had had a life before we settled down.” Eventually, the two had become unfaithful and this marked the end of their relationship. So as John and Dan could relate, marrying too young can often come with the implications, or lack thereof, in personal growth. Lastly, I believe that early marriage hampers the individuals involved’s ability to travel and see the world as they may like. When engaged in marriage, you must take into account somebody else’s schedule when booking a trip and when you both have full time jobs, this can gradually appear to border along the impossible. When you’re young is the best time to go out,
Williams 5 explore the vast reaches of your aspirations and absorb as much as you can. Seeing as when you can’t take a cruise you’re yearning to take until your husband or wife gets enough vacation days, you’re only halting your ability to expand your mind in the sense of newer cultural indulgences. When you’re busy placing your finances more towards a joint stability, traveling expenses are regularly put on the backburner. This can be seen through the testimonies of many who have tried their hand at a more unorthodox younger marriage. For example, my father, an accomplished chef, was offered a chance to move to Seattle in order to train other chefs there. However, due to his higher-priority commitments, he was forced to stay in Stockton and work here as opposed to traveling to more unfamiliar areas and broadening his horizon in the process. Bringing even more light to my other points, instead of going on to further his cultural experiences while at the same time strengthening his career path, he was instead relegated to working two jobs for more menial wages. Now, instead of already having a foundation to build further upon, the opportunity presented to him has to instead be fulfilled at a later point in his life. And in his wait, brought on by the additional restrictions that came about after marriage, he must still work for low wages until he is free of responsibility. In this, it becomes apparent to me the marrying younger may halt or retard progress in traveling as one may see fit. In conclusion, I believe that being married too young could prove detrimental to a person’s individual potential whether it be success-wise or through personal character growth. It could prove disastrous to an individual’s career growth. In addition, it could also prove to be
Williams 6 more to the detriment of an individual’s progress in the search for wisdom. Furthermore, marrying too early in life can hamper an individual’s ability to travel and thus even more narrowing their world view.