We have all gotten into some sort of misunderstanding in the past. And I bet we've all gone through that conversation that goes something along the lines of, "What?… No but you said… No I had said… No but I didn't mean it like that…" So what what are the causes of miscommunication and how can we prevent them?
Well the causes are fairly easy to define. And it all comes down to three things, words, filters, and context. When we read words, we only read part of the message. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve received an email and had no idea what to respond because i just couldn’t tell the message’s tone of voice. With nothing but flat words, the reader is left to their imagination to interpret the tone of a message. This can be a dangerous thing, as what a reader interprets could be the exact opposite of it's intention. Same thing goes for filters. Everything we say or hear is filtered through our own biases, prejudices, and experiences. And this doesn't just apply to one person, it applies to everyone. This presents a conflict when filters are activated in a different matter, hearing what we choose to hear instead of what we are intended to hear. Now when it comes to context, people sometimes forget the situation in which a statement was said. The sentence "I hate you" can be taken many different ways when put into different situations, it could either be a meaningless threat or the end of a realtionship, depending on it's interpretation. Misconstrued context can further complicate a misunderstanding. For example, I was watching modern family the other night, and the funniest example of misunderstood context came up.. So the family goes to a restaurant and sofia vergara, who plays a family friend, goes "I feel like I'm losing my children in America, I feel like they're just gonna become boring old white people" just as a group of old white men walk by. And it just gets worst because as an effort to make sense of what she said, she defends herself by saying "no, wait, most of our friends are white" right as a black couple walks by. This is the perfect example of statements that were taken in the wrong context, and therefore misunderstood.
So how can we prevent unclear communication? Like the causes, it all comes down to three things, validation, repetition, and letting things go. Communication issues often happen when we jump to immediate conclusions, or when we give wrongful intent where there is none. Before we jump to conclusions, it is important to validate the intent behind the statement. Instead of validating by our own means, validate by the means of whoever made the statement. Now, sometimes misunderstandings can be prevented by easily repeating your message or asking for the message to be repeated. We often pretend that we understood what was trying to be said when in reality, we didn't. Now, one of the most difficult things to do is to let things go. Bitterness may linger in a conflict, as people don't want to understand, they only want to be right. If all people involved in a conflict have this sort of attitude, the outcome can only be negative. In this situation, is important that at least one person is willing to consider and understand the other parties' point of view. It is only after this that one can begin to understand others and their perspectives, furthering the possibility of a resolution.
While there are many causes for a misunderstanding, it doesn't have to be difficult to resolve them.
In the modern family scene, if the family would've made a greater effort to clear their statements up, or if the people in the restaurant would've been open-minded and tried to validate what the family said, all those misunderstandings would not have happened. That's why it is essential that we make sure we have transmitted our messages in an efficient manner, as well as make sure that what we interpret in a message is correct. And as simple as that is how we prevent miscommunication.