Free Essay

Mission Control

In:

Submitted By AumShavaya0
Words 920
Pages 4
3-minute radio drama written by Woody Allen and Ray Bradbury

(Introduction for “Mission Control” radio dramas)

Announcer over gallimaufry of theremins: From the far horizons of the unknown come tales of new dimensions in time and space, all postage paid. These are stories of a future – stories that you may live in a million could-be years on a thousand maybe-worlds, that’ll have a definite lack of affordable dry-cleaning. The National Broadcast Company, in cooperation with Pimple-Faced Magazines, presents “Mission Control” . . .

Our story tonight brings you into times of desperation and war. The growing conflict between the Andromeda galaxy and our own has propelled more out of control than my great-nephew’s goiter, and Earth men are being conscripted to fight for their planet. The wives and mothers wave their husbands and sons goodbye as they board the space craft for the long journey ahead, dreading the idea that there mightn’t be any in-flight entertainment. Each craft has a crew of six men: a captain, a navigator, a cook, a mechanic, a robot helper/prestidigitator, and a Groucho Marx impersonator, who is also trained to incorporate passages from Finnegan’s Wake into his stand-up routine. Of the five-thousand nobel ships that left planet Earth, all but one returned. That one was the craft Dyssebeia X, with Captain R. J. Strickland, navigator Peter Venkman, mechanic Abraham S. Christ, chef Emily “Beelzebub” Dickinson, a robot helper known as Ebert the Magnificent, and a Groucho Marx impersonator from the high mountains of Venezuela, who often confused Groucho for Karl, and Finnegan’s Wake for Mein Kampf. In the sixth week of the operation, Dyssebeia X was sent on a reconnaissance mission to the weaponry base of the Vogons. The universe seemed particularly empty that night, and several crew members suffered severe existential dilemma, that can only be cured by strapping a stone to them and making them carry it around for a couple of days. After the crew had been cured, and their shoulder muscles had grown to gargantuan size, they went back out for the reconnaissance mission. Again, it was a quiet night in the universe, like an audience at James Lipton’s solo act – way out in areas yet uncharted by Earthicans or their allies. It was the navigator, Peter, who noticed the glowing crimson star in the distance.

(sounds of space-craft and a Peking Opera in the background) Strickland: How’s everything looking, crew? Christ: Nothing yet, boss. Ebert the Magnificent: I’m not picking anything up, Captain. Dickinson: The potatoes are looking a little dry. Venkman: Hey, that’s strange . . . Strickland: What is it, Venkman? Venkman: Well – I’ve never seen anything like it. Like a silken sun – a burning ocean of crimson serenity. Strickland: We’ll leave the poetry to Dickinson, Venkman. Now what is it that you’re talking about? Venkman: Look, just over there. Strickland: Hey, yeah . . . What is that? We better check it out. It’s probably nothing, but it ought to go on the report. Venkman, set course for The Silken Sun. Crew, you better get your shorts on, it looks like it’s gonna get hot. Christ: You sure it’s nothing, boss? Strickland: I don’t know, but I sure as hell hope not. (whispering) Christ, I want you to get the guns ready, just in case. And may God have mercy on us all if we need them.

(Suspenseful sci-fi sound effects - wailing theremins and washing machines on tumble-dry, which fades into Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor played by a blind one-nun-band with thirteen fingers and no palms named Cheryl)

Venkman: We’re about to enter its field, captain. Strickland: Good, keep moving forward and set up for a landing. Christ: Hey, guys, the glow – it’s dying down. Strickland: (murmuring) just as I thought... Ebert: What was that, captain? Strickland: Nothing, nothing ... Alright, uh, everyone – get your bags and mess kits, we might be out for a few hours. That means you too, Groucho Christ: Look! You can see houses, towns! No different from our own ... Groucho: Towns, huh? I wonder what kind of society they have down there – I wonder whether or not the proletariat is treated well, or if there are classes. But surely, in any civilisation, there are those that are stronger and those that are weaker. Christ: They look pretty advanced, Groucho. Groucho: The grandeur of their construction is, if anything, an inverse judgement of their society. I wish it were the same with my wife – she just gets fatter and meaner, am I right guys? Strickland: When did you start doing Rodny Dangerfield? Christ: Ah, I showed him some of his stuff just before we left. Dickinson: These potatoes are definitely dry. Groucho: Hey, what’s the deal, I tell ya– Strickland: Alright, that’s enough. Prepare for landing. Groucho: Yeah, sure – one day us impersonators will rise up and be self-reliant, without this kind of oppression. You’ll see, maybe then I can grow a real moustache.

(Sci-fi sound-effect exitlude with announcer and a midget humming Al Green’s “Let’s Get Together”)

Announcer: Next week, on “Mission Control,” we will continue the adventures of Dyssebeia X. What will the crew find behind the crimson haze of the mysterious Silken Sun, and is Groucho Marx getting ready to betray them all? Will Dickinson’s potatoes have to be thrown out? Find out next week on “Mission Control.” And now, prepare yourself for the spine-chilling comedy stylings of “Sisters in Suburbia,” staring Vincent Price and Robert Mitchum . . .

Similar Documents

Free Essay

Eng160 Mod 3

...My office is the place that I spend the majority of my time. The centerpiece of the office is my desk, my own mission control center. Like the mission control center of NASA, my office is adorned with many diagrams, pictures, and documents. It truly is a command center that is fully equipped to run a complex business. In today’s fast paced business environment, a well-organized and efficient office is needed to succeed. To achieve this sort of environment a person must have the necessary tools in place to meet their needs. A desk with the proper equipment, space to properly hang documentation, and a floor to organize other needed pieces of equipment. Organization can seem overwhelming at first, but with a little patience the task is really quite easy. Start with the biggest space hog in the office which is your desk. The desk should be clean, easily accessible, and sturdy. A desk should be able to withstand the weight of your pc, monitor, and desktop accessories. It should also have plenty of storage in which to put items that do not need to be accessed on a regular basis. These items could include: notes pads, personal accessories, food, pens, pencils and much more. Another crucial aspect of a well-organized office is to have uncluttered walls. I know it is tempting to hang cat photos, and inspirational pictures, but they serve no purpose in productivity. Items such as white boards, contact lists, charts, and graphs are much more suited for an efficient office. The final...

Words: 723 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

Review of the Misson

...The Mission- A Review History of Christian Missions CHHI657 B01 201220 The Mission a film directed by Roland Joffe, recounts the tales of the Guarani Indians of Paraguay. In the paragraphs that follow we will look through the lens of the film and reflect on missions in the context of the colonial expansion that was taking place. Secondly the mission strategy of the Jesuits will be un-wrapped. Lastly it will be noted the attention to culture and the challenges of the work which goes hand in hand with the over all strategy. The film brings this time in history to life and paints a beautiful picture in the mind of the viewer of what took place. The whole encounter with the Guarani Indians was set in motion long before anyone outside of Paraguay knew they existed. The Spanish and Portuguese sought new lands in Central and South America. As they quested after these lands three things took place conquest, settlement, and evangelization[1]. The peoples of these lands were then subjects under the dominion of Christian Kings to whom the Pope had given sovereignty. Columbus took his first voyage in 1492, and by1515 the occupation of the West Indies was complete. With every expedition or quest and conquest came friars and priests. A good portion of the work was done by the Franciscans and the Dominicans, and later the Jesuits. The most notable for the Jesuits was Paraguay. In the beginning the work of the Jesuits suffered a lot from the hostility of the colonists. The colonists...

Words: 1126 - Pages: 5

Free Essay

Yeah

...Many Catholics still believe that the term mission and missionary refer only to priest’s sister and religious. What new understanding have you developed about these concepts -mission and missionaries? For me, my understanding about missions is an intentional effort to lead others to a saving faith in Jesus Christ. It is the primary task given to believers by Jesus, and all believers are charged to participate. The word "mission" comes from the word "to send," and most Christians who are involved in full-time missions are sent to another location. All missions include the idea of leaving the comfort of the fellowship of other believers to engage with those who do not know Christ. This may be across town or on the other side of the globe. The way in which Christian missions spreads the gospel is different for every culture, even though the message is the same. To some degree, the method must be specific to the hearers. Different degrees of education, sophistication, and familiarity with Christian concepts will influence how the gospel can be shared. Every Christian is called to missions in their own lives. Jesus charges all of us to reach others with His message. It is not easy, but as we learn to love people like God does, we find sharing the truth about God essential to the Christian life. A missionary proclaims Jesus as Savior and Lord. Whom do they tell? Jesus made it clear that Christians are to reach out to “all the nations”, especially those ethnic groups without a...

Words: 608 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

The ‘Christianization’ Process of the London Missionary Society in 19th Century South Africa: a Case Study of Bethelsdorp and Thornberg

...our knowledge of the 19th century is patchy because little research has been done on this period. RESEARCH TOPIC: MONIQUE CLASSEN CLSMON002 The ‘Christianization’ process of the London Missionary Society in 19th century South Africa: A case study of Bethelsdorp and Thornberg Contents PLAGIARISM DECLARATION 2 ABSTRACT 3 INTRODUCTION 4 THE LONDON MISSIONARY SOCIETY 7 Driving Ideologies Behind An Archetype of Civility and Modernity 9 THE ‘CHRISTIANIZATION’ STATIONS 11 The Institute of Bethelsdorp for the Khoekhoe 11 Thornberg Mission Station for the Heathen San 17 THE GROUNDWORK 21 CONCLUSION 26 BIBLIOGRAPHY 28 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 1. Village of Bethelsdorp (from John Philip: Researchers in South Africa, London 1828) 2. Church and Mission House at Bethelsdorp (from a watercolor by John Campbell, 1819.) By courtesy of Africana Museum, Johannesburg 3. Map: Nineteenth-Century Mission Stations to Bushmen (from Tricksters and Trancers, 1999) 4. Erasmus Smith (from Christianity in South Africa: A Political, Social, and Cultural History, 1997) PLAGIARISM DECLARATION ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- PLAGIARISM DECLARATION -------------------------------------------------...

Words: 8965 - Pages: 36

Free Essay

Mary Slessor

...Mary Mitchell Slessor was born in 1848 in Scotland, she was the second of seven children. She credited much of her good character to her upbringing from her deeply religious mother. Her father ran a shoe making business that did not go well, he became an alcoholic, which resulted hardship and poverty for the family. Mary started working to help provide for her family at a very young age, her wages became the primary source of the family income, she worked up to ten hours a day to make ends meet for her family. She became a Christian at a young age. She enjoyed going to church; it was a getaway from her unhappy life at home. Her older brother who was planning to go as a missionary died, at 25 years old, she decided to go in his place. She embarked on her missionary journey to calabar in 1975 where her battle for women’s rights began, she fell sick from malaria several times and eventually passed away in 1915, nearly forty years after coming to Africa, at the age of 66. Mary Slessor has become an inspiration to all who hear her story. She was not only a pioneer missionary, but also an activist for women in general. Slessor campaigned against injustices against women. Witchcraft and superstition were prevalent in Nigeria when she arrived there because traditional society had been torn apart by the slave trade. Human sacrifice routinely followed the death of a village dignitary for instance tribal customs like killing one wife of a chief in order for her soul to accompany her husband...

Words: 1100 - Pages: 5

Free Essay

Missions

...Dear Mom and Dad, I’d like to say something cute and catchy here…but instead, I’ll just get to the point of why I’m sending you this message.   Danielle and I will be going on our 1st mission trip that will travel to Ecuador on November 2nd, 2013 to invest into the lives of children and families living in abject poverty. God has touched our hearts and opened our eyes to the harsh realities and living conditions that no child should ever have to endure.  Yet, they do.  The children that we will be caring for ‘endure’ in the most heinous and dire circumstances.  On this trip, we will be partnering with two organizations that are on the front lines caring for children and families in need. The first half of our trip will be spent at Nuevos Amigos. Our church, RiverTree Christian Church, has recently assumed the operational responsibilities of Nuevos Amigos, a school located just outside of the capital city of Quito, Ecuador. It's mission is to operate a school that seeks to walk hand in hand with families to ensure that children receive spiritual guidance, quality education, and loving care that complement a healthy home environment. The other half of our time will be spent serving one of the churches and child development projects that our church helped start through Stadia Church Planting and Compassion International. This church is located on Pampanal Island, located off the northern most coastline of Ecuador. There are roughly 250 chlidren on the...

Words: 734 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

Charismactic Theology

...MISSION EXPANSION THROUGH THE CENTURIES Joanne Holman Mission Expansion Through The Centuries June 18th, 2015 Thesis Statement: This research proposal will capture the journey and contribution of mission through centuries in expansion of Christianity. Christianity is a religion which has been diffused majorly through the missionaries. The Christian mission went many interior places to converts people into Christianities. Actually, this trend is even mentioned in the Bible where people were seen to be enamored by the personality of Jesus Christ. According to Daughrity, since time immemorial, missions have been playing important role to emerge Christianity as the religion followed by the largest population in the world. This research proposal will try to capture the scenario and history of expansion of missions through the centuries. From a large part of eastern Mediterranean known as Levant originated Christianity and after a journey of extensively long passage of Jerusalem, Assyria and Egypt (to name a few), it had been adapted as the official religion in Armenia, Georgia, Aksumite Empire and Roman Empire successively. Missions bore the extensive responsibility of spreading Christianity in the colonies of European countries such as England, France, and Spain etc. but, the largest empire of the world, England was itself a pagan nation and converted into Christianity by the eighth century as the result of the mission in 597 AD led by Pope Gregory I. Missions were very...

Words: 444 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

Worldviews

...I Worldview is a person’s thoughts, beliefs and opinion on everything in the world around him. It can be your feelings about religion, work, life, violence, abortion, school or even an idea. Your worldview can be stimulated by watching television, a debate you participate in, talking with family or friends, your interacting with co-workers or even a person you pass on the street. Anything one encounters can contribute to your worldview. It is one’s unique opinion about life. II The Question of Origin. The Bible tells us that God created the world and the universe and everything in it (Gen. 1:1). This clearly is the beginning of man’s existence, our origin (Matt.5:45, 19:4). Before God’s creation there was no earth, no universe, just simply nothingness. I have often pondered this very question of my own beginning. Going back and back into my family tree and we all begin with our Heavenly Father. The Question of Identity. We were all made in the image of God (Gen.1:26), for he is our Creator. Genesis 1:28 teaches us that the Lord put us here on earth to rule over other living things, the plants and animals. We are superior over other things here on earth. Life’s experiences contribute to one’s identity. The things we learned as a child to adulthood, our education, what we learned from our parents and other authority figures, helped to form our identities. I would say that the most important contributing factor would be one’s religious beliefs. The Question of...

Words: 901 - Pages: 4

Premium Essay

Native Country Research Paper

...Those that did not adjust well reported to only have support from one of those groups (Selby, 2009). Cultural identity also plays a huge role to help missionaries experience a smooth transition. Missionaries that reported to have a strong connection with their native country before they left, and maintained it throughout their mission while still experiencing the culture, had a much smoother transition (Walling et al.,2006; Berry & Sabatier, 2011; Selby, 2009). It has also been reported that individuals that had been abroad before or had served a previous mission also had fewer negative experiences when they were returning home (Sussman,...

Words: 1853 - Pages: 8

Premium Essay

Amy Charmichael Research Paper

...One the most well-known missionaries of the 20th century was Amy Charmichael. One of her good friends gave this testimony, “Miss Charmichael was a blessing to all who came into intimate and understanding contact with her radiant life. She was the most Christ-like character I ever met, and her life was the most fragrant, the most joyfully sacrificial that I have ever known.” (GFA Missions “Amy Carmichael). Her selfless work as a missionary reached thousands and inspired others to pursue a career in missionary work. Amy Charmichael was born in Millisle, Ireland in 1867 to David Carmichael and his wife Catherine. Her parents were devout Presbyterians and she had seven younger sibilings. During her teen years, she was educated at a Methodist...

Words: 650 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Reflective Essay

...REFLECTIVE ESSAY #1 1. I would be described as a very relaxed leader; someone who likes to have fun and enjoys leisure time. Some will describe me as a team player and compassionate whereas some will say I can be the life of the party. However, when mission is a priority, I expect for my subordinates to perform the task and produce results in a timely manner. 2. At times I can be difficult but only when challenged. For example, I tend to think more of the morale benefits as opposed to what benefits the mission. Though I can be outspoken and loyal, I can also be the worst follower. Learning the traits of an effective follower will help me portray great leadership skills thus perform my job well along with my subordinates and taking pride in our expertise. 3. I use a combination of country club to authoritarian leadership style. At times I will tell my troops to complete a task, no questions asked. Other times I will be in a lassie faire attitude and tell them to do whatever they want. Because of the inconsistencies of my leadership style, my troops are left confused and not knowing what to do. Therefore, I feel my leadership style is ineffective. It is my goal as an NCO to role model a great leader and NCOA has been a beneficial part of my improvement. 4. According to the classroom exercise, I am definitely an orange type of temperament. I don’t always set the right example because of my outspoken attitude towards leadership. My theory is to work hard and...

Words: 529 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Mission Trip Research Paper

...Before I went overseas, I thought I knew where I wanted to go in life and who I was. I did not think mission trips would be a path I would have chosen. However, I realized I loved missions on my first trip to Peru. I went to a girls’ home, where I did work projects for the girls, which included painting their laundry room and redoing their playground. What I loved most of all was spending time with the girls and playing games with them. This exposure filled my heart and became my passion. Through this, I understand that missions are the path that God is moving me towards. He showed me that you do not need the same language to interact with everyone. It takes body language and acceptance. On my second mission trip, I went to an orphanage for special needs children called The Gabriel House. At the Gabriel House, I made a connection with a young boy named Edwardo. I believe that I made that connection with Edwardo because my dad takes care of special needs students, so I have been around them for as long as I can remember. We would play games together, but what I mostly enjoyed was when I held him in my arms. On this mission trip, I realized that special needs people are just like us. They are God’s special people, and we need to care for them and love them....

Words: 541 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

Legacy of William Carey

...THE LEGACY OF WILLIAM CAREY OLUKAYODE ADARIJO AKINDELE Multicultural Evangelism Individual Assignment Study September 2007 ‘The legacy of William Carey” by Vishall and Ruth Mangalwadi is one of the must read titles for any mission minded Christian of the twenty first century. William Carey’s mission field was in India and being an Indian place the authors in the best position to collate the achievements and the challenges faced by the 17th Century missionary from an insider perspective. This book tells us who actually William Carey was. According to the authors, Carey was a man of humble origin. His father Edmond encouraged him to be educated. At the age of 12 years, he had to abandon all formal education so as to earn a living. He tried his hands in agricultural labour, but due to his sensitive skin problem, he could not do this job for long. He then became an apprentice shoemaker to Clerk Nichols of Pidington. This job actually kept his hands and mind active. He taught himself Theology, Latin, Greek and Hebrew languages and these facilitated his understanding of the Bible. As a shoe maker, Carey came to the realisation that the grace of God was more sufficient for him than anything else. The author described him as ‘pioneer of modern western Christian Missionary movement reaching out to all parts of the world.’ He was an evangelist who used every available medium to illuminate ever dark facet of India with the light of truth. There is little wonder...

Words: 748 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

Cyber Software Inc.

...the company. Previously one of their clients, Baltimore City Government, was hacked giving the hacker(s) access to over hundreds of client’s credit cards. Even with Cyber Software Inc.’s quick action, two hundred and seventy five individuals were still affected. Worried about the wellbeing of the company, Mr. Jackson is looking to revise their current vision and mission, as well as restructure their new program development and customer service divisions. II. Mission and Vision Statement Prior to being able to establish a new structure for the company, vision and mission statements are needed to establish a foundation for direction. “It is important to get employees on board with the decision making process. This can be articulated through the mission and vision statement…” (Hawthorne, n.d.). New Mission Statement: Providing the most innovative and up to date around the clock cyber security, and satisfactorily customer service to our clients New Vision Statement: Pioneering cyber security services and protection by adapting to daily cyber environmental changes and technology With the revised vision and mission statement, Cyber Security Inc. has a new foundation set to assist in a proper path when planning. There are three main planning functions that must be considered when setting a direction for the organization, strategic, tactical, and operational. Strategy planning is the long term results of the company, but tactical planning divides out the steps to accomplish or...

Words: 1470 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

Going International

...challenges, which are broadly classified as cultural, legal, political, economic and market (Aztech Group Ltd 2012). Part 2, on the other hand, focused on the cultural and distribution factors. In this part, we would focus on whether the company has adequate internal and external mechanism that will enable it enter into new market successfully. Internal and external audit The company’s profile reveals that Aztech has well defined mission and vision. Its mission is based on principle of 5Es, which stands for Excelling, Extending, Enhancing, Engaging and Empowering. The organization strives to excel as far as innovation and product quality is concerned. The company also has a mission of extending its reach and presence in global market. In addition, the company strives to enhance the profitability and shareholders value and also to engage its customers. Another mission of Aztech group as far as 5 Es is concerned is to empower employees with resources and skills. Even from the mission statement, it is clear that the company has comprehensive mission statement, which cuts across all the key component of an organization. Currently, the company has 7 sales offices in Singapore, USA, Germany, China, Hong Kong and Malaysia. It also has 1600 employees worldwide and customers from over 40 countries. The group has the right strategy and the right business...

Words: 1042 - Pages: 5