Growing up in a Christian household set the tone for “moral training” as I’d like to call it. Even though it was pretty difficult having parents who had two separate religious beliefs, it basically worked out the same. My mother had a Baptist background and my father was a Jehovah’s Witness. They didn’t agree with a lot of things religiously but they both agreed to raise me and my brother with the same morals. So throughout my years growing up I was a very respectful child, I never was one to talk back in a disrespectful manner, I always listened to what any adult had to say, even if I didn’t agree with it, never spoke back to my parents when a demand was given. It’s funny because when I think back I question if it was a moral code or was it fear of what would happen to me if I went against my parents.
Once I got to high school things began to change in my life. No, I didn’t turn into a rebel but I did begin to do things I didn’t do as a child. Freshman year I failed my first class and had to go to summer school. I think the fact that my parents didn’t over react to this, made me think it was ok to rebel a little bit. So sophomore year I began to cut some classes. I began to hang out with a girl who lived down the street from me. Her mother was on drugs so she basically did whatever she wanted. For some reason I thought that was cool and I wanted to do things she did. We used to go to the mall and steal things. My father would tell me she’s nothing but trouble but I wasn’t trying to hear that. Until we got caught, then that was a different story. I stopped hanging out with her as much as I used to but I still did rebellious things even when she wasn’t around. Junior year I had sex for the first time. No even though I was taught premarital sex was immoral, I did it anyway. As a result of my disobedience I was pregnant by the start of senior year. My father was so disappointed in me. I felt like I let my parents and God down. You would think that was the end of my moral disobedience; however that was just the beginning. I started stalking this girl who dated my daughter’s father. I was in and out of court so many times behind this girl. I didn’t see severity in the path I was taking until I was almost arrested for assaulting her. At that point in time I had to sit down and reevaluate my life. Here I was a single parent at 18 harassing a girl over a man that wasn’t even thinking of taking care of his responsibility but rather chase women and run the streets.
Everything that I was ever taught was never lost it was just ignored. I had to realize I was a grown woman raising a daughter on my own. Would I want her to act like me when she got older? Of course not, so why would I continue to display this kind of behavior in her presence. I can say I have done a good job so far, my daughter has grown into a very well respected and respectful young lady. I try my best to instill in her what was instilled in me.
I’m not saying that imp one of Gods most holy people but I can say I think twice about a lot of things before I do them. Not that they are things that really need moral thought but some are and because of my past, that has just become a way I live my life now.
There are times I want to go out and party like a rock star but then my conscience kicks in and asks me is this the example you want to show your 16 year old daughter. Do you think it’s cool to be the drunken parent? No of course not. So that alters my actions. I was also taught it’s against God to be drunk. HE says you can drink but don’t become drunk. (Ephesian’s 5:18) my conscience and God are the two moral concepts that direct my actions more than any of the others. I must say experience was definitely the best teacher in my life.