A depressing and altogether controversial topic: the stimulus package and its effect on our national dept. To any intelligent thinker, it’s clear that the stimulus package has done nothing but hurt the America Economy, sinking us into an abyss of dept that now surpasses our GDP becoming a mammoth problem with no foreseeable solution besides national collapse.

There are countless suggestion of how to reverse the effects of this package but as of yet, none have been successful, practical, or cost effective. However, I have the perfect solution. Auction off all who contributed to the current debt level, certainly and specifically including all of those who voted for the stimulus package as domestic or blue collar workers.
There can be no reasonable objection to my proposal thanks to all its clear benefits, which I shall list:
First, this would build foreign relations between the U.S. and other countries, bringing country closer to a utopia. With American officials being sold and moved to every corner of the world, benefiting those countries they come to work for, other nations will come to enjoy and beg for access to such auctions. (An as yet to be verified hidden benefit may possibly arise from creating an environment where higher-minded, honest, hard-working individuals with a true love for this country will be the only ones stepping forward to run for office. Time will tell.) Additionally, as Congressmen and other US politicians come to happily work for their new owners, whether the owners be African, Hispanic, Russian, Asian, Islamic, Irish and such, they will prove to all that America is not racist, self-centered, or selfish. Their labor would provide foreign countries, especially third world countries, with much needed labor, support, and technology. This will ever increase our foreign relationships and deepen our understanding and sympathy for and by other cultures.

Secondly, there are plenty of environmental advantages for the US to this plan. As all know, humans make the greatest toll on this country, yet as American rids itself of excess population, unneeded surplus humans, our country will be less environmentaly burdened as there will be fewer people with the highest carbon footprints. Any thinking person knows, a single politician has the higher carbon footprint than a million average Americans. Less politicians mean fewer jet planes and less toxic air being spilled into and from the nation’s capitol. Even Mr. Gore -who will inevitably be one for the first auditioned off, for what country would not bid generously for a former US vice president, Nobel Prize Winner, and author of An Inconvenient Truth. Who could argue with the immense reward this country will have thanks to the riddance of all the hot air and feces produced in our national’s capitol? Think of all the fresh air and national peace that will pour into our country.
Thirdly, there is the economic advantage that comes from profit as America finally starts exporting more than we are consuming. This will help bring the trade deficit down dramatically, certainly more in line with other foreign countries, and as a result strengthen our overall economy. The main idea is that, as we single out each specific contributor to the National Debt and in addition voters for the stimulus package, the more prominent voters will generate a higher profit. These profits will then be allocated to paying down our national debt. It is self-evident that many countries would pay billions of dollars to own current and former members of Congress such as Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, Barbara Boxer for just a few, Even current and former presidents such as Barack Obama, George Bush Sr. , George Bush Jr., and Bill Clinton will generate massive bids on the open market, possibly generating bids even in the trillion dollar range. Imagine the impact on our National Debt.

Fourthly, and perhaps the most profound benefit of this auction can be found in arranging to send the most heinous of the stimulus voters and creators to our enemies where they can effect negative change to those countries by spreading their toxic, failed, and detrimental ideology to our enemies; therefore bringing these countries to their knees just as they have brought this once great nation.

Through this plan of auctioning of current and former presidents and members of congress to foreign countries, the voters will finally accomplish what politicians have failed to do through the stimulus package- Paying Down the National Debt, possibly even creating a surplus. As an added bonus, surplus revenues of these auctions can be paid into saving Social Security, another program former and current presidents and members of Congress have decimated at the expense of hard working Americans. This is a win-win situation all around for this country.

AE