Helpful Neighbours
I was pondering how some people can be clueless towards the existence of their neighbours even after living in that particular apartment for many years. It’s an irony since we were taught to co-exist in a community where we depend on each other to achieve a more meaningful living environment. Being friendly and helpful are just some of the traits neighbours should display willingly towards others. Helpful neighbours are rare in recent times but those who are out there are gems we should treasure. They are neighbours who expect favours in return, neighbours who help out of goodwill and those with the intentions of being meddlesome and invasive. These neighbours are just a door or few away to come to our rescue at any time of the day. As we have heard numerous times, good things don’t come easy.
Some might need to observe you struggling on both hands with bags of groceries, only to ask but not offer help. While some willingly offer to collect and safe keep your daily papers sent at your doorstep knowing you are going out of town. However, not all of these are purely act of kindness. Some come with hidden agendas of their own. There’s a saying which goes, “There’s no free lunch in the world” to remind us to always be mindful towards others extreme kindness. Are helpful neighbours purely helpful?
Some of them expected us to return favours for those help they rendered. They seemed like service providers expecting to get paid for the services they provided but for these instances in a more subtle and discreet manner. I once witnessed a conversation between two of my previous neighbours in the lift a particular morning, with one of them dropping hints of being late for work and having to fight the human traffic taking buses and trains. He is a nice man as he frequently helped the other guy who was his next door neighbor to clean his corridors while he was cleaning his. With a pair of reluctant eyes but convincing voice, he gave in and offered a lift to work as he felt obliged to reciprocate the help he have been receiving all those while. For those neighbours whose luck were not on their side and their allusions were ignored, their faces turned black and from then on will withdraw themselves from getting close or helping that particular someone or family. People like these should question their sincerity. Help given or received should be out of self-willingness and hoping for others to repay is a bit degrading to one’s level of sincerity.
A handful will do it out of goodwill and expect no favours in return. Even though we seldom came across them, these exceptional but fine souls are what I classify as ‘real’ neighbours. From babysitting to watering your withering plants while you are at work are just the very few examples of how they lead their daily lives through the spirit of helping one another as neighbours. Let’s recall the last festive season while you were busy with your family’s preparations, they took the effort to knock on your door giving New Year’s goodies accompanied by well wishes from their family to yours. This disappearing breed will go the extra mile to enhance the cohesiveness among the people around them. I’d say that they are kind by nature who foresees no other gains except self-contentment towards their good deeds. A simple word of thank is enough to make them feel appreciated and valued. Even though it is hard to find such groups of people, we should emulate their spirit and not be hindered by those who frowned upon us. It is the norm currently for people to self-immerse into their own lives disregarding the community they live in. Many of us too caught up with work, school or chasing our personal satisfactions tend to unconsciously submerged ourselves into our own space with our own routine turning a blind eye to the people surrounding us daily. These scenarios are seemingly increasing, especially among younger adults who are more individualistic compared with our parents’ generation where they grew up with the ‘kampung spirit’ where all neighbours were united in helping other as often as they could.
The next group might sound unbelievable and please do be alarmed as they are probably a few doors or a level away from us. There exist a minority group within our circle giving help to us with the intention to intrude and dig into our private lives and privacy. As extreme as they seemed, we call them the helpful yet busybody neighbours. The efforts they put into meddling with others personal life are comparable to that of paparazzi outdoing each other to get better headlines at the front page of local tabloids. Or should I say “The Neighbourhood Times”? This bunch of meddlesome neighbours are those children looked up to as the nice aunties and uncles who helped looked after me while my parents were at work. Their act of helping served as a formidable cover for them to pry and probe into others personal life. By helping, they were able to get close to a particular family and get to know more about them. They will start making inferences and assumptions based on the type of car the family drove and how much this family earned a month. These are just a handful among others insanely ridiculous information that triggered their excitement nerve. Well, the worst were yet to surface. Some went to the extent of uncovering the crisis a family faced and zipped around spreading it faster than BBC could do coverage. Most of the time we were fooled by these busybodies as their helpfulness blinded us to not imagine of such consequences arising in the aftermath. And once we do realized, it might be harmed done, too late to reverse any of the information leaked. Scary as they may sound, they exist from various ages like the retirees to the unexpectedly matured adults. Hence, it pays to be slightly cautious of others even though they are doing something good for us.
Neighbours whether they are helpful with or without ulterior motives, we still need them as we live in a society where interactions and socializing with the people around us ensure the quality of living in a community. The number one rule is to respect and be mindful towards one another as in Singapore we live in a multi-racial and multi-religion society. Certain help we offered others might deem it as offensive to their cultural practices. And with these factors in mind, many chose to mind their own business and be ignorant towards one another, not wanting to risk any wrath lest their help are not being appreciated. On the contrary, let’s not forget that neighbours are our first contact point for help in cases of real emergencies. They will be the ones who can give us immediate assistance when we are on our wits end. No matter what their intentions of helping us might be, we must maintain a rapport to ensure a balanced and harmonious community within us.