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Notes from the Underground

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Submitted By fattyfatfat
Words 464
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Part 1) “Oh, if I had done nothing simply from laziness! Heavens, how I should have respected myself, then. I should have respected myself because I should at least have been capable of being lazy; there would at least have been one quality, as it were, positive in me, in which I could have believed myself.”
Reaction- The underground man has a seemingly pitiful life. He desires to have qualities that “normal” people detest. In this passage he is positively reflecting on laziness. How if he could only be lazy he would have ONE positive quality. It is sad that he doesn’t think he has a single positive quality, and furthermore that a negative one would be fulfilling for him. I also do myself enjoy being lazy, but only whilst I’m being lazy. After that it becomes drab and I look back on the wasted time. It is a pity.
Part 2) But at this point a strage thing happened. I was so accustomed to think and imagine everything from books, and to picture everything in the world to myself just as I had made it up in my dreams beforehand, that I could not all at once take in this strange circumstance. What happened was this: Liza, insulted and crushed by me, understood a great deal more than I imagined. She understood from all this what a woman understands first of all, if she feels genuine love, that is, that I was myself unhappy.
Reaction- I love this passage, and everything leading up to it. This man who had holy rollered his way over her in the Whore-house, preaching to her the evil of her deeds was truly an unhappy man. When people are unhappy their sole goal is to make other unhappy. He was almost successful, but Liza realized his unhappiness and in her pity almost taught him a lesson.

Overall
Free will, we fight for it from infancy. We will do anything to prove that it is ours. The fact of the matter is no will is free, and everything relies on outside influence. We do everything based on what is going on around us. Unfortunately for this man, he tried his hardest to fight it making him miserable for the majority of his life. I could not imagine never experiencing love, desiring to have negative qualities, and losing myself to a whore in my house. This is a terribly sad story, but we can all relate to it. At times we all fight for free will. WE hurt the people we love because of it, and we hinder our own lives ever more. Throwing other peoples sins in their faces just to cover up the shame of our own is probably the worst thing that we all do.

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