Observatin

Observation A good way to assess a situation between people is to observe their behaviors and actions in conversation. How did they interact with each other? Where their non-verbal messages intertwined with the verbal ones? Where they sitting closely or at a distance? The paper will cover one event where these types of observations were made during the duration of a one-hour dinner at a local restaurant.
Background
The local Applebee’s restaurant is one of a mixed environment of families’ mature and young adults. On a Saturday early evening, a man and woman were dining at the table next to my table where my family was enjoying dinner. The restaurant was moderately busy but not over capacity and sitting was still open for the patrons. The waitress sat them down at a table, he holding out her chair to sit and then sitting himself.
Interaction Behaviors The man and woman were business casual, him with starched kakis and shirt, her with a casual dress and heels. They were not overdressed for the restaurant, but not casually dressed in shorts, tee shirts and sandals or tennis shoes. They sat opposite sides of the table in conversation when the waitress arrived to start the ordering process. The distance between them indicated more of a personal relationship than social indicating they were semi familiar with each other (DeVito, 2009). He nodded to the lady, indicating she should order her first and then gave his order to the waitress. He ordered a steak and she ordered a salad. Neither of them had wedding rings on indicating that they were married and each seems to wear a minimal amount of nicer jewelry, her with a diamond necklace and earrings, him with cufflinks in his shirt with some kind of gemstone embedded in the cufflinks. Their appearances showed the image of matured adults with financially sounded backgrounds. He appeared to have recently gotten a haircut because his trim looked freshly done. She had her hair perfectly styled in a short crop with freshly touched makeup on her face. The conversation appeared to be based around small talk and occasional smiles and glances at each other. She looked away form his stares to break the moment often until the meals arrived. He would lean in and make a comment and she would lightly and casually laugh. I saw him motion toward her food as if to ask if she liked the salad and she smiled and nodded her head indicating that she did like the food. He focused on her and seemed to want to ensure she was enjoying the evening. She appeared coy but enjoying his attention. As the meal progressed, he moved his chair closer to hers and they continued to chat. She started holding his stare longer, signaling that she was interested in his attention. She started laughing a little louder and longer at his comments and he appeared to be trying harder to keep her laughing. After the meal was almost over, she excused herself and went somewhere, I presume to the bathroom. He stood up when she left the table and later ordered two coffees while she was away and asked for cream to be included with the order. She returned shortly afterwards, with fresh makeup and lipstick applied, looking like she just got ready for the evening. She thanked him for ordering the coffee and began to prepare her cup with cream and he drank his black, telling me that he knew how she drank her coffee. After few minutes, her cell phone rang and she spoke briefly to someone over the phone while he tried not to listen to the conversation. She appeared removed after the phone call and he called for the check to end the dinner. He paid the bill, stood up, held her chair while she gathered her belongings and he walked behind her out of the restaurant with his hand on her back guiding the way from behind.
Conclusion
What I gathered from these observations were that these two people were on a date, not the first date, as they seemed to be at some level of ease with each other in the way they interacted (i.e. ordering coffee the way she drank it with cream). They were a mature couple and looked like they had established lifestyles by their dress and physical appearance. I do not believe this was an established relationship because he did not sit directly next to her at the beginning of the meal and later moved in closer to her as the dinner progressed. She was returning attention to him and laughing at his comments to show her interest. I observed the packaged messages being exchanged between the two people, both verbal and non verbal (DeVito, 2009). Eye contact seemed to be a clear message of interest during the dinner from both people. He wanted to make a good impression so he was on his best behavior being courtesy by pulling out her chair, standing when she left the table and deferring to her to order first. She touched up her makeup after the power room visit with a fresh application of lipstick. Relationships have six stages of development: contact, involvement, intimacy, deterioration, repair and dissolution (DeVito, 2009 pg. 211). I would assess this one in the involvement stage as one that is fairly new by their behaviors. I found it interesting to see the relationship play out in one evening and wondered if she will always stay interested and laugh at his conversations and if he will stay on his best behavior and treat her with the courtesy he did this particular evening. The astrosphere surrounding them with the noise from other tables did not seem to interfere with their dinner or conversation. The two people seemed to be focused on each other and not the surroundings. The ultimate observation that I had been that the dating interaction does not appear to become any easier with age, the same insecurities and niceties still apply when you are older, a person is still wanting to be desired and someone to notice them.

References DeVito, (2009). The Interpersonal Communication Book. Boston: McGraw-Hill. Retrieved from University of Phoenix eBook Collection database.