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Ordinary People

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Submitted By jrhoads91
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Within the Jarret family, Beth, Conrad and Calvin all have different problems, which all still exist among present day people. Each individual's problem involves another member of the family, resulting in a new problem. Beth is a perfectionist who is inexperienced with tragedy, Conrad searches for himself while trying to please people around him, and Calvin is overcautious about his son. Although all three have different problems this film depicts how one person's problems can affect the entire family. Beth's inability to forgive forces her son, Conrad, into living for others, and her husband, Calvin into obsession with his son's feelings.
Conrad's mother refuses to forgive him for his suicide attempt, because she believes he did it in order to destroy her perfectly ordered life. To begin with, Beth likes to believe that life is faultless so her family is forced to tolerate it. Beth is used to a perfect life therefore she is unable to adjust when something goes wrong. By learning her irritations, Beth's family allows her to maintain the perfect image. However, by encouraging her to keep up the perfection, Beth will assume flawlessness is the norm. Secondly, Beth is accustomed to perfection; as a result she takes Conrad's suicide attempt as his revolt, and refuses to forgive him saying "Blame me for the whole thing... That whole vicious thing! He made it as vicious, as sickening as he could! The blood-all that blood! Oh, I will never forgive him for it! He wanted to kill me, too!" Beth refuses to forgive her son supposing he tried to kill himself to demonstrate how imperfect her life really is. Additionally, even though Beth lack's emotions towards her son and refuses to forgive him, she does not hate him because it would add to her imperfection. She says, "Hate him? How could I hate him? Mothers don't hate their sons! I don't hate him!” Given that society says it is wrong for Mothers to hate their children, Beth has a reason for not hating Conrad. Beth's need for perfection is the only thing keeping her from loathing her son.
Through Beth's remorseless attitude regarding Conrad's past influences him to make an effort in pleasing others and keeps him from being himself. For instance, Berger explains to Conrad his reason for attempting suicide saying that after Buck, the perfect kid, dies, Conrad, the not so perfect kid, is forced to be perfect. By trying to please his mother, and everyone around him, Conrad attempts to fill Buck's position. After believing he failed in "being perfect", he convinces himself that suicide is the only answer. Conrad believes he has no identity because he lives life for other's benefit. Although Conrad searches for himself, he will not find it as long as he lives to please others.
Calvin tries to help Conrad as he searches for his identity; however he ends up over analyzing everything and breathing down Conrad’s neck. Calvin believes a good father is responsible so by keeping up with Conrad's life, and not missing any signs he hopes to prevent any more mistakes. Calvin blames himself for missing Conrad's sign of depression before his attempted suicide. Therefore he is over cautious around his son and pays attention to every single detail. Additionally, Beth dislikes Calvin's attachment to Conrad, therefore after Calvin involves Conrad in their conversation, Beth says, " Do you do that deliberately...Insert him into the conversation whenever I mention you and I doing something together...It must be hard to grow up when your father is breathing down your neck all the time. I think I would hate it”. Beth refuses to forgive Conrad therefore she dislikes how Calvin is overly concerned with him. Calvin on the other hand dislikes Beth's attitude towards Conrad, so he tries to get him involved in their conversation. However Calvin's constant mention of Conrad aggravates Beth so she continues to find him objectionable. Furthermore, Calvin shows no anger towards Conrad therefore Conrad says, "Haul my ass a little, tell me to shape up...The way you used to do with him” Calvin then tells Conrad:
“He needed it. You didn't. You were always so hard on yourself, I never had the heart. Besides... you were the good kid. The easy one to raise...the one I never worried about. That was the problem. I should have been worrying”
While trying to please others, Conrad believes he has to become Buck, his perfect brother. However in finding that Calvin always believed him to be the good kid, Conrad no longer has to attempt to fill Buck's shoes. Calvin alternatively believes he needs to watch Conrad now, because of his lack of worry for him. His obsession with Conrad's feelings is caused by his guilt for not worrying about him. In trying to help Conrad find himself, Calvin realizes he needs to give him support as well as breathing space.

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