| Osccola Cancer Center | Observation Essay | | Miranda | Everest University |

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Osccola Cancer Center, Celebration Florida. Although the building on the outside is beautiful in its form, I wonder if people really know what it is like to walk into one of these buildings. Do you? I can tell you now that it’s not all that glamorous. I have been here, in fact more times than I can count in the last 21 months. Despite best efforts to make patients as comfortable as possible with the atmosphere, décor, and friendliness of the staff; it is not a fun place to be for anyone who visits. A clear and hot day walking into the center I open the door immediately I am blasted with the cool air of the interior. You know that smell you get when you walk into any hospital sterile, at this point the smell is almost nauseating, I think it is because it is things that are yet to come. I walk to the desk and the attendant smiles politely as I sign in. Yet another week of treatment, the staff is hustling and bustling behind the desk to move patients in and out of the office with as much care as possible. Some are working on computers putting in the doctor notes; others are filing and setting appointments. I hate this place, I know what others are going through and thinking it is never fun. I move over into the lounge to wait for my turn, another day of chemo. Sitting there the T.V. is playing some show I never really pay attention. I tend to look at the people and ask God why, why so many people have to endure this disease. To my left their sits a child in her mother’s lap, I know this little girl a real fighter she is, like me she too is a patient here. Her cancer is far more advanced than that of myself. Tired and frail she lays waiting wrapped in a blanket to receive her treatments. The others in the lounge are waiting as well some are parents, mothers, fathers, or other loved ones. Someone always comes with the other for support. There is a light faint of whispers within the room of people corresponding with one another.

Brad is my support he is always at my side, we’ve become very close. I look to him and smile; I know he is hurting too. It’s just one of those feelings we all know so well. It’s truly amazing to sit and watch people here, knowing that so much is riding on this illness that is eating away at your body killing you with every second you breath. Yet in that same breathe you there is so much hope and faith for those that are fighting and struggling through the channels to get better to beat or rather cheat death. Its time Michelle my favorite nurse calls for me to come in, with Brad at my side we file into the room. Michelle is a master with the IV, and being I am not a fan of needles that was a plus for me. With quick work she places in the IV and hooks me up to my chemo. Imagine it like poison running through your veins and body, throwing up and burning and pain as the chemo moves through you. That’s what it is like about ten minutes into the treatment. The smell starts to get to you after a while that smell that only hospitals have. It only makes the treatments that much worse. I look at the celling into the bright lights, outside the door I can hear the movements up and down the halls and people talking in muffled sounds. Brad is sitting quietly in the chair next to the bed. God how I wish the burning pain would just stop. I think I could handle it then; He is on his phone looking into emails as he always does and talking to me about upcoming events. Minutes tick by; I have to endure this for an hour. Who would have thought that it would take this long just sitting here with nothing? I close my eyes and wait. Michelle returns and removes all of the IVs and it is time to go. Walking down the hall has now become a draining challenge, there is no long much more to observe now that all focus is gone and chemo brain has set in. I get to the front desk and sign out; the nurse makes my next appointment card. It’s very cold in here, that’s all any patient can think, even outside in the sweltering heat it now becomes cold, due to the thinning of the blood from chemo. Brad helps me to the car and the day is done. This particular day was far worse than any other week. With any patient some weeks are better than others. Staff is friendly and décor is beautiful, plants and pictures, painted walls and trim make for a beautiful calming place; yet the inner workings of what is really taking place inside the walls is a different story all together and each person has their own to tell.