Family Development Credential® Program Skills Practice Description and Reflection: (Include with the portfolio)
Worker’s Name Darren Sanchez Chapter 2 A skill that I practiced was (as listed in the book or describe one that you developed in consultation with your Portfolio Advisor):
Meet with a friend or a member of your own family to discuss a concern. Practice using the format of stating what happened, what you felt, and what you want clearly and respectfully. Use communication helpers and feedback to reflect back what you hear. Write a reflection on the experience and identify the strengths you saw in yourself and the other person. A description of what I did to practice this skill:
Last Friday I had a conversation with my fiancé about a concern that I had when I was around her friends and family. We spoke about how I felt uncomfortably because of the language barrier and how I see how my family is with her and I don’t feel the same way in return. Immediately she went on the defensive end and stated that I was over reacting and how that they attempt to speak to me. I quickly stopped her and asked how and gave her many examples of how they do not include me in things. For example, we can all be sitting in a room and immediately they go into speaking Spanish, although my parents are from Puerto Rico my Spanish isn’t the best Spanish. I even went on the defense and told her that my own family includes her into the conversations we have when we are all around and yet in her family they don’t include because of the language barrier. I kept telling her that I do not like the treatment because I feel out of place when they exclude me from conversations because they know I don’t speak Spanish well. We both had the strength of defending our families and our cultures. Throughout this conversation I had she began to understand what I was telling her and at one point she stated that maybe I shouldn’t incorporate going to her mother’s house when I’m doing with classes on Friday’s. I then proceeded to say that its not something that I would do because how can I seclude myself from the family I just wanted to be included. By that time, we had pulled up to Lehman and I had to go to class.
My reflection on this experience (please include what you did well, what challenges you encountered, if any, what you learned, and what you might do differently):
In reflection of this experience that I had I noticed that my demeanor could have came across as very upset and somewhat rude. I know that one thing I could have avoided was the comparison between both families, I know if the shoe were on the other foot that she wouldn’t have like that at all. I think the major challenge for me was that I was looking for reassurance and I wasn’t receiving it. What I learned from this experience is that we come from different cultures and the morals and values are different in both cases. One thing is for sure although we both come from Spanish backgrounds we have have different dialects.