Introduction
Occasionally, training to become a therapist feels like relearning how to be a human being - starting from scratch and going through all the usual developmental stages, hopefully in a better way. Hence, in somewhat simplistic terms, the theme of my 1st year at Metanoia revolved around killing my introjected Parent, leaving me in year 2 at the mercy of an angry, un-boundaried Child. That year progressed under the sign of binging and denial, and the raging battle between fantasy and reality, my Child grappling with perceived unfairness and screaming internally: “Justice for Barbara”!
This year, surprisingly, I observed some Adult emerging. In terms of developmental task, I imagine I have now reached the stage of grasping self-containment …show more content…
Geoff mentioned that we are, as a society, addicted to transformational moments (Bollas) hence this detached, “middle of the road” emotional state appears so weird: it lacks my life's usual drama. "Hi, my name is Barbara and I am a drama queen?"
The theoretical content of the weekend certainly appeared more advanced: the unconscious, the shadow self, how exciting to be talking about something else than the PAC! I could see a few bemused faces and part of me revels in the fact that I might become the special one this year, that my intelligence could finally outshine others.
Funnily, this echoes my supervision with Aaron around my notion that therapy might only work for clever people. Where does my obsession with intelligence come from? Thinking about my grandparents and their impact on my script, I suspect they felt stupid and uneducated being farmers and coal miners. They certainly drilled into their children that the only escape from poverty lied in hard work and learning. Consequently, I admire Sherlock Holmes, Hannibal Lecter - men with colossal brains and few visible