Looking back on my own life, I see different experiences, struggles, and accomplishments as different stages of self-growth. They have helped me to understand my own potential and the path that I wish to take in life. I feel that I have lived deeply, suffered greatly, and emerged stronger. I wish to apply the valuable life lessons I have gained to what I feel is my true calling- nursing. This is my second time applying to your program, and as upset as I was that I wasn’t accepted the first time, I feel as though everything happens for a reason and without the rejection I never would have had an opportunity to work with some of the greatest physicians and researchers at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center this past year.
When I was in my senior year of high school my mother admitted herself into a thirty-day rehab program for alcoholism in Pennsylvania. I was left to take care of a younger sister and a brother who was suffering with his own demons; my brother was addicted to drugs and at this point he was at his worst. I knew my mother had to leave to get better for herself and her three children, so I rose to the occasion and thought, I can do anything for thirty days, but those thirty days turned into 270 days. My mother felt she needed more treatment and a half way house was going to be the best option for her in order to come back stronger for us. At this point my brother had been in and out of jail, hospitals for overdosing, and had lost his job. I needed to keep this to myself because I didn’t want my mother to stress or worry about anything; she needed to focus on her own struggle. I jumped on a plane to Florida where her half way home was located and spent a few days there talking to her, supporting her, and learning as much as I could about addiction and the road to recovery. I felt I could not only show support for my mother, but I’d be able to bring home this knowledge and help my brother and sister to the best of my ability. I didn’t really want to go back home though. I didn’t think I was able to be strong enough for my mother, my siblings, and most importantly myself. Until this time in my life I never understood why on a plane the flight attendant would say if the oxygen masks fall, put yours on first then assist the child next to you. The reasoning for this applies not only for safety on a plane, but in life. You can’t possibly take care of people around you if you are not strong enough to take care of yourself, you can’t be in a relationship if you aren’t complete; you need to establish a strong foundation first, and that is what I did. I refused to crumble and let a bad situation get the best of me. I returned home and spoke to my brother and sister about where Mom was, how her recovery was coming along, and also educated my younger sister about addiction; being that she was only ten years old at the time, she didn’t understand entirely where Mom went and why. A one on one talk gave me the opportunity to better explain it on her level. Everyday after this, my sister called our mom and wished her better health. She would sing songs to her and write letters; before this she was beginning to show signs of anger and confusion. This was something I wanted to prevent in all of us. Ironically, I was assigned a research project for my senior year in high school and so I chose to do it on children of alcoholics. I chose this topic because not only was I living the life, but I wanted to get to know me too. This chapter of my life has added to my personal strength and stamina.
Through my research I began to see much of my sister, my brother, and myself in the characteristic traits of these children. I took on the mother roll, and became the caretaker not only to my family members, but everyone around me. This project turned out to be extremely enlightening and therapeutic at the same time. Despite the “A” I received on the research portfolio, I had barely graduated high school because of my attendance or lack thereof. I knew when I did graduate going to college right away wasn’t going to be the wisest choice.
I took what would have been my first semester of college off and worked full time at Huntington Hospital. I had worked there since I was sixteen as a summer helper, and always hated it! As I grew older and spent more time there, I began to feel comfortable in the environment and wanted to become part of their team permanently. I didn’t know what role I wanted to play, but I just knew that it was where I belonged. I stayed working there in different departments, first Medical Records, then Electrophysiology, Hospital Information Systems, and then Radiology as a medical receptionist. Each department taught me something different and allowed me to see which career was going to be just right for me. I found that being a nurse would allow me to be able to help and comfort others when life and situations can deeply affect a person. There is not a more noble profession in my eyes than being a nurse; nurse’s help the sick get well and comfort those who are dying. In my mind then and now, I feel I am exactly the person who can relate to most any situation and offer just the right caring response.
Second semester came around and I enrolled in night classes while still working at the hospital. The next academic year started and my mother was home, stronger than I’ve ever seen her. She got a great job as the executive director of the Alzheimer’s community at Sunrise Assisted Living; watching her care for the residents and their families is truly moving and inspirational. My brother was court mandated to enter a rehab program which consisted of out patient counseling sessions, one on one therapy, and group meetings as well. Things were turning around, or so I thought. My brother stayed clean for one year in this program, but on September 3, 2005, he overdosed and didn’t wake up. I lost my best friend, my brother, my hero, and my hope… This situation changed me, I had a difficult time getting over it, and it certainly doesn’t get better. I’ve learned that the grief and emptiness inside me will never go away, and unfortunately life keeps going on with or without you. My mom needed me and I refused to use his death in vein, it’s thanks to him that I owe my determination and persistence. Through his struggle and pain I’ve learned the true meaning behind life, living, loving, suffering, and dying. Life certainly has a way of knocking you down to your knees, but I firmly believe it’s how you rise from that fall that defines your character. I will not give up, I am self motivated and determined enough to know that not only will I be a great nurse if given the opportunity, but I am a hard working girl with the fight and strength of a tiger in her and no matter what I do, I will do it with heart and give 110 percent.
My education began fully in January of 2006 at the University of Illinois at Chicago. I had a tough time adjusting to being away, and so I came home. I learned that Stony Brook University ranked in the top 100 best national universities and top 50 public national universities by U.S. News & World Report so without any anticipation, I met with a counselor to enroll. I got accepted for the Fall 2007. I pursued an education in the School of Health Technology and Management and a job at Sunrise Assisted Living as a concierge.
While working at Sunrise Assisted Living, I visited a woman in her apartment every night I worked. She was unable to go to meal times because she couldn’t get out of bed. I found myself looking forward to seeing her and speaking with her because it made me feel good. She would light up when I walked in the room and just tell me stories about her life as a child and her pains now. I would hold her hands through her tears, and comfort her through what she was feeling at the time. She looked at me during one of my last visits with her and said, “I always look forward to seeing you. You light up my day.” She thanked me each day for coming in and seeing her when most everyone told me I didn’t have to check on her, she was fine. What they didn’t know was our meetings were bringing her joy, joy that she didn’t have the chance to experience being in the state she was in. This in turn made me remember, I may not be able to heal her wounds, just as much as I couldn’t heal my brother or mother, but I was certain that I wanted to and could comfort and take care of others in time of need, steady their hands when all is crumbling. I felt like I made a difference in her days, and that is just what the nursing profession can allow me to do. Make a difference, even if it’s a slight difference, in a person’s life.
This profession also allows for international traveling to help global health care needs. The knowledge and skills of a nurse can be used anywhere around the world in any area of medicine; they aid in the process of healing patients more efficiently and are capable of bringing together resources to provide holistic health care to patients in any country as well. Nurses can look at the health issues of a particular population and coordinate with many entities such as doctors, researchers, government representatives from educational institutions, local leaders, businesses, citizens, etc., to address big problems.
I have learned through the hospital, volunteering, my experience working at an assisted living home, and also my education here at Stony Brook University, the ability to communicate with patients, professors, professionals, families and peers. Being a Health Science major, I am confident that I will be able to provide the School of Nursing with excellent communication and writing skills, support to others, and the ability to interact closely with other students as a team. It isn’t always about achieving the highest grades as much as it is about the work ethic and life experiences that go along with it that makes a well -rounded nurse. One thing I can stand behind is that I have skills and experience that no one can learn through a textbook, and I believe that all of my life experiences have been necessary to bring me to this point. I am mentally prepared and persistent enough to excel at any endeavor, and have developed the compassion and commitment to nursing that will drive me through the years to come. I look forward to my future with great anticipation, and know that the time has finally come for me to tackle my dream of becoming one of the best nurses out there.