Polygamy: What is right and what is wrong?

Polygamy is when a man is married to more than one woman at a time. This term is not to be confused with bigamy, where the man is married to separate women, and have separate lives, whereas polygamy the multiple families live under one roof. With shows on TV about polygamy, such as Big Love and Sister Wives, polygamy has been under the radar. There are also cases such as the YFZ Ranch that was owned by the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), a Mormon “ranch” that practices polygamy, where over 400 women and children were taken from the ranch. One of the major comparisons to making polygamy legal is the legalization of gay marriage.
The first article against polygamy I read was by a Canadian blogger, called clearcut blogging. I know a blog isn’t as resourceful as an actual article but I found it very interesting. This blog gave reasons for why polygamy is wrong. The blogger talked about how polygamy is not about rights: it's about the power over and control of one group by another. One of the points that the blogger made that I think is a good one is that most North American "families" in polygamous situations are on welfare or food stamps. The men in polygamous relationships cannot financially support all the women and children, and the women are generally not permitted the freedom to choose a career and work. This shows that in a modern society, polygamous marriages are not healthy or stable institutions, women are expected to work to support their families in a normal situation. Another thing I found interesting is that the media has shown some polygamous women claiming that they are happy in their multiple marriages. According to the religion of these cultures, women are only able to get into heaven by permission of their "husband." Also, if these women make a statement that could be viewed as anti-polygamy, whoever is the leader of their community will take away their children. So in the long run, women in these cultures are afraid to reveal their true thoughts and feelings or to jeopardize their already complicated status. There have been many women who have left these polygamous cults describe the suppression they had to go through. For this reason, the statements of polygamous women cannot always be true. The blogger makes very good arguments. I understand where he is coming from.
I also read another article by Daphne Bramham, called “Polygamy, impunity and human rights.” She is against polygamy for many reasons. One of the reasons she stated that Polygamists, such as those in the Texas compound raided in April by child services, are taught that boys are to treat girls like a disease. They get in trouble for even flirting with girls their own age, watch videos or listen to rock music. Some are disowned and told to leave the community at ages as young as 12 and 13. Their mothers are told to tear up or burn photos of them, the women are to forget about them. But the boys are useful for something. It is their work ethic that the leaders support their multiple wives and dozens of children. The boys are sent to work at companies that the leaders of the compound control, they either work for free or are paid as little as the workers in 3rd world countries. Women are told that they are only good for making children. Birth control is not allowed and they usually have up to 12 kids. They are taught to be servants to the prophet, their fathers, their husbands and sometimes even their sons. She also stated that none of the wives are treated equally; some have to fight for affection and money. The author also states that polygamy can be a form of child abuse. Polygamy mocks the dignity of all women and lacks protection for both women and children and it demoralizes women's and children's rights to be safe and secure as well as their ability to exercise their full rights and privileges as humans.
An advocate for Polygamy practices is Mark Henkel. He has been interviewed many times for this issue and has a lot to say. In the article for polygamy is found in Newsweek, it is called Polygamists, Unite! In the article it takes a look at the story of Marlyne Hammon. Her family was ripped apart when she was younger. Her father and many others were arrested and sent to jail on charges of polygamy. Her mother and her siblings were sent to live with a family outside the city. Her father was released, and because her family feared for their safety, they lived separately for many years after. Marlyne, who's involved in a polygamous relationship, is the founder of the Centennial Park Action Committee; it’s an organization that rallies against the poor treatment of those in polygamists relationships. "Polygamy rights is the next civil-rights battle," says Mark Henkel, founder of the Christian evangelical polygamy organization TruthBearer.org, is Marlynes partner in her quest to end the hatred of polygamists everywhere. His argument is stated like this, if Heather can have two moms, she should also be able to have two moms and a dad. There is a lawyer that says that this is a sound argument for making polygamy legal, Brian Barnard. He states that most cases like this always come up from making gay marriage legal. For example, Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania stated in the Associated Press in 2003 that legalizing gay marriage would say that legalizing bigamy, polygamy and incest are also ok. This slippery slope argument doesn’t fare with gay rights campaigners, they think that the issues are completely different. Polygamy activists agree. They keep tabs on the debate, but just like Henkel and Hammon, believe that being gay is a sin.
For me, I think polygamy is a lifestyle choice. Just as being gay, or a bigamist. I don’t necessarily agree with polygamy. I think that sister wives are neglected, and children lack the attention they would receive in a stable home. In a home with many “mother” and only one father, children don’t get that close bond that they would in a monogamous relationship. I don’t necessarily agree with the statement that if you make gay marriage legal, that you might as well make polygamy, bigamy, and incest legal. I agree that these aren’t even in the same category. If two homosexuals want to be in a committed relationship, a monogamous one, what is the big deal? I think that polygamy is an excuse for a man to sleep around. It’s the same thing with polyandry, which is also an excuse for a woman to cheat on her husband. I don’t understand how the others in the relationship don’t feel as if they aren’t enough for their partner. I have watched both Big Love and Sister Wives. Big Love was based mostly on entertainment value, but Sister Wives is a reality show, and I know, not all reality shows are real, but there is some truth base behind it. The things these women do to keep in order amaze me. They even use a color coded system on the bedroom doors to tell which woman is ovulating. These people live in fear every day. I believe that can’t be a healthy lifestyle. I guess Monogamy is the best policy.

References
Blogging, C. Ten Reasons Polygamy should be legal. Retrieved November 17, 2011, from http://clearcutblogging.blogspot.com/2006/05/ten-reasons-why-polygamy-should-be.html
Daphne Bramham "Polygamy, impunity and human rights". Inroads: A Journal of Opinion. FindArticles.com. 25 Nov, 2011.
Soukup, Elise. "Polygamists, Unite! They used to live quietly, but now they're making noise." Newsweek. Harmon Newsweek LLC. 2006. HighBeam Research. 27 Nov. 2011 <http://www.highbeam.com