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Psychology Learning

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Submitted By josephgperez
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21 months ago I learned what it really feels like to love. My son was born March 2, 2012, at 6:48pm, weighing in at 8lbs 9oz. Since 6:48pm 21 months ago I have felt an unconditional love that I never knew existed. I cannot say for sure when I first started using the word love, but I can say that all my life up until my son was born I never really felt that I was capable of loving someone or something. I used to use this analogy in my head that if I loved someone I would care if they died, as in it would affect my life. I tried other scenarios, such as if I put the purposed loved one before my own wants and needs, but it never worked because I am the type of person who would always put others needs and wants before my own. In the same regard it didn’t mean love because I couldn’t care less if everyone disappeared, cause in the end I don’t really care for people as a whole all that much. So all I was left with was the death scenario, I knew once I found someone whom I could bear losing that I had found my ability to love. I applied that theory to my parents, sibling, extended family, friends, and lovers throughout my life and the answer always left me not really loving anyone. I would tell those people I loved them because it gave them happiness, but for me it was an empty word because it held no meaning, and it always gave me a sad feeling to know I was essentially lying to them. I couldn’t very well just tell them I really cared for them but I didn’t care if they disappeared from my life all together, because that would be putting my feelings before their own and for some reason I don’t operate that way. When my son was finally released from my wife’s baby motel, I felt in an instant that I couldn’t bear losing him. Being how I am, his needs and wants would always come before my own, so that was a give in. It was the fear of losing him that made me realize I could

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