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Psychology Phenomenon of My Love Affairs

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Submitted By natalieyoshimi
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Psychology of My Love Affairs

Taking this course is probably the first time that I truly discover Psychology and I found it very applicable in our daily lives. As I go through the lectures, interestingly I found that many of the concepts and theories could be used to explain my behavior in a relationship that I had, which is currently over. I would like to share with you my discoveries and thoughts in this journal.

The first thing that I found applicable to my behavior in this relationship is --- Attachment. I had been in a relationship with a boy for nearly 4 years, since I was 17. I would say our relationship was an intimate one and a very strong bond was developed. There were some sorts of attachment patterns in me, but the pattern changed over time.

The attachment pattern of me in the beginning stage of the relationship was probably ‘Secure’. I felt secure, safe and comfortable when he was by my side, not physically but when we would whatsapp each other a lot, knowing what each other are doing. I treat ‘knowing what he was doing’ and ‘constantly whatsapping’ as a form of ‘secure base,’ with that secure base I feel comfortable and I would ‘explore’ like hanging out with friends, doing academic stuff etc. Sometimes, like when he played basketball with friends and had to lose contacts with me for a few hours, I would feel anxious, as it was like I lost track of him. I kept looking forward for him to had his game finished and could actually find me or whatsapp me. When he did find me after his game, I would have a feeling of relief and feel comfortable again. According to Davis(2012), a secure attachment pattern is developed due to appropriate, prompt and consistent response by the caregiver. I believe this secure attachment in me was due to the consistent prompt response of my boyfriend towards my needs at most time. He would fulfill my needs most of

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