Reaction Paper 1- Integrity by Henry Cloud Niki Varveris, DPT GEB 6445- Business, Ethics and Society January 17, 2013

The book Integrity, written by Henry Cloud, while proving to be more than your typical “self-help” book as I prematurely assumed, shed a whole new light on the subject of integrity. I must admit that prior to reading this book I was confident in my understanding of the word “integrity”, doing the right thing when no one is watching. And I was most certainly self-assured that I am a person of integrity. This book, however, challenged me to not only re-evaluate the definition of integrity but also take an in-depth look at my life as it pertains to this subject. Throughout the book, I recognized that Cloud’s message was immensely applicable to both my personal and professional existence. Early in the book Dr. Cloud introduces the idea of "the wake", referring to the task we have set out to accomplish and the relationships that occur along the way. This concept wasn't entirely foreign to me as I always think about my job or task, and positively am aware of my relationships. Although, the notion of putting them together and becoming aware of their interactions is one I hadn't completely connected with, I do believe that at a subconscious level I examine how my actions impact others. My goal-oriented nature has been the driving force behind my success as a businesswoman, such that I envision the end result and scrutinize the options that will best help me get there. As I reflect on the wake I have left behind, I take comfort in knowing that my drive has not been at the expense of my relationship with others. Yet, Cloud’s analogy has now raised my awareness, bringing this concept to the forefront, empowering me to consider and learn from my past actions and guiding me to leave a better “wake” behind in the future. Another important part of this book for me was learning a practical, applicable meaning for the word "character". Prior to reading this book I was a firm believer in the fact that a persons character is fixed and cannot change. We all talk about having "character" and have heard the expression "character counts". Yet I would bet that most people, myself included, don't have a solid definition to apply to the term. Dr. Cloud defines it as "the ability to meet the demands of reality". Adding the notion that the demands of reality determine the requirements of the design, as Cloud explains, it is easy to see how character plays a significant role in success and failure. Furthermore, Cloud presents a solid argument as to his belief that character is changeable. What a novel idea! Not only is the composition of my character key to meeting the demands of my reality, I have the choice of developing my character based on what task I am faced with. This is a valuable lesson for me. Suddenly it is clear why I have difficulty juggling the demands of running a private practice, meeting the needs of my teenage daughters, fulfilling the requirements of school, maintaining my physical well-being, and nourishing a relationship with my partner. All these years I have solely relied on one aspect of my character, my drive to get results, and have failed to recognize the other components of my character. The message that resonates with me is that in order to succeed equally in various portions of my reality I must do a better job of strengthening other facets of my character. Dr. Cloud’s story of Brad, the CEO and his VP struck a cord with me. What was of great value to me was the idea of looking at what things cost or profit in more than just monetary terms. I have an employee that is hard working and efficient in every respect of the word. From a strictly monetary point of view this person is well worth their salary. However, they are often negative, argumentative and reluctant to help in areas outside of their designated role. This creates stress and discomfort for the entire office which could be much more costly in the long run in terms of morale, teamwork and customer relations. I now have a better understanding of the "cost" of this employee and hopefully will be able to address this particular situation in a more effective manner. When it comes to building trust with others to achieve a goal, I completely agree with Cloud in that there is a difference between getting people to comply and winning their hearts. I would like to think that working at my company is the best job anyone could have. However, the more I thought about this topic, I realized that I am more effective at winning my patients hearts than I am at winning my employees hearts. A deeper analysis of this matter revealed that I tend to be more empathetic with my patients whereas I expect my employee to follow my work ethics and work as hard as I do. This is not exactly what Cloud would consider the ability to connect authentically. However, since reading this book I have put in action a process by which I deliberately acknowledge employees at the end of the day and get feedback from them as to how they felt the day went. Having said that, I give myself credit for the fact that I truly care about the welfare of my employees and it is no secret that I share the success of my company with my associates. Cloud’s discussion on building trust through vulnerability left me somewhat troubled. I do relate to his childhood example and can think of several occasions where I had to balance strength and vulnerability to encourage my daughters actions. However, I find it very difficult to show any sign of weakness in relation to my business. I would think being a female healthcare provider in a predominately male environment is not the place to show vulnerability. Even so, I can understand Cloud’s point on how being too strong is as much a credibility destroyer as is being too weak. It will take practice on my part to let my guard down at work and I am not sure if that is a risk I am willing to take just yet. Perhaps the most insightful section of this book that hit close to home with me was Cloud’s discussion on our willingness to face reality and being oriented towards the truth. To me this element of character means taking an honest look at a particular thing or event and facing the facts. Whether it's the performance of an employee, or my expense list, I sometimes find I don't allow myself to see things as an unbiased observer might. I am aware of the problems, however I make the conscious effort to deal with it at a later time in the hopes that it will somehow go away by itself. What I considered avoiding conflict or procrastination might in fact be, according to Cloud, fear of reality harming me. This is most definitely an area where I have a "gap" and room for personal growth. I must make a better effort to actively seek out reality and face the facts associated with that reality. Only then can I say with confidence that I have integrity. In all honesty, I was taken aback by how this book made me feel about myself. It has made me question who exactly I am and how have I made it this far. I realize that there are several abilities that I am well suited for, yet there are a few requiring a stronger effort on my part to improve. I will continue to use the six abilities associated with character, described by Cloud, as a checklist for leaving a good wake behind. Now I have a better appreciation of how and why each of the six components of character must work together in order for a leader to have true integrity. I walk away knowing the importance of identifying the areas which I lack and making an active effort to intentionally fix them. The readiness to capitalize on my strengths while embracing change will be much easier thanks to this book. My final reaction to Integrity, so cleverly written by Henry Cloud, is that I am sure to re-read it in several months to assess where I am on the issues I have identified.