Reflected Appraisals

Jessica Krugman
English 223: Communication Arts
February 15, 2014
Dani Liese

Reflected Appraisals Many people have influenced and shaped my self-image. From the time I was young, my parents and family members told me if my behavior was acceptable or unacceptable by rewarding or punishing my behaviors. This started to build my self-image and as I got older, my peers, teachers, coworkers, and bosses perceptions of me has also influence how I view myself. “Reflected appraisal is our perception of another’s view of us. How we think others appraise us affects how we see ourselves” (Wood, 2007, p.44). My Dad is the reason I’ve decided to go back to school. The reflected appraisal that he made clear to me before he passed away, almost three years ago, was that I needed to further my education and finally do something with my life. He made it clear that he didn’t want me to struggle my entire life, like he always had. He really stressed the importance of me finally reaching my highest potential and going back to school. My entire life, he always told me that I was a lot smarter than I let people see. I also remember him telling me that I let my friends influence my behaviors way too much. At one time or another, I reflected the appraisals of my peers. Through self-fulfilling prophecies, my peers lead me to believe that I wasn’t the smartest in our group of “friends”, so I lived up to that for years and had very low self-esteem. “The principle of reflected appraisals notes that an individual's self-esteem is greatly influenced by how he or she is viewed by others. If others hold a person in high esteem, the person is likely to have high self-esteem”(Rohe and Stegman, 1994). Over the years, I’ve learned to surround myself with positive influences known as “uppers”. Instead of degrading me and my weaknesses, like “vulture’s” do, they encourage change and appreciate my self-worth (Wood, 2007). For way to long, I have surrounded myself with people that didn’t have me or my interests at heart. I know that I will always come in contact with people that may be “downers” and “vultures” but I don’t have room for them in my close circle of friend’s any longer. I think it is only natural to believe things about myself that aren’t necessarily accurate. What is important is that I am constantly advancing my capacity for self-renewal and that I continue to grow into the person I want to be, regardless of what people think.

References
Wood, Julia (2007). Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters, 6th Edition. California: Thompson, Wadsworth Rohe, W. M., & Stegman, M. A. (1994). The effects of homeownership on the self-esteem perceived co. American Planning Association.Journal of the American Planning Association, 60(2), 173. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/229712399?accountid=41759