Reflective
I always new I would have a bright future in front of me. How it worked out in the end is a surprise to me and my family. In this paper, I will reflect on my life experience that has turned me into the woman I am today. I will use the adult development theories I have learned about in this class to show how my up bringing has changed the out come in my life.
I am from Hammond, Louisiana. I lived there when I was an infant to two years of age. We lived in a nice two bedroom house with a white picket fence around it. I had lots of fun playing in the dirt and grass when my mother would dress me up in pretty cloths. She would get mad at me for getting dirty, but she would just clean me up again and make me stay in the house. We would go to my grandfather’s house and run threw the fields. He had ten acres of land that we would just run and play on.
We moved to the city (New Orleans, Louisiana) when I was two and a half years old. The city was nice it had pretty lights and pretty houses; we lived in a two-story house that had a big fence around it was a nice neighborhood.
At the age of four my mother decided to leave my father and she moved us to Houston, Texas. My sister and I went to daycare and my oldest sister went to school while my mother put herself through nursing school and made a life for us. After a few years my father gave my mother a divorce.
One of my favorite memories was when my grandmother took us to Alabama; we stayed with relatives that we did not know. It was fun we got to eat dinner food for breakfast and breakfast food for dinner. My great-great aunt told us stories about her childhood and about her children is childhood. When we went to sleep at night we would sleep under beautiful quilts that she made. Another fun time that I had was when I went to California to visit my Auntie. Her house was in the hills. It was big and pretty. She had a big yard with flowers everywhere. In the daytime when would go a Jehovah’s Witness Conference and at night we would ride for miles it was beautiful. I saw lights for days and the hills would go up and down and around and around like we were on a rollercoaster. We would go to the park and have a picnics and play for hours.
We would go to Louisiana every summer to stay with my grandmother and my cousins would come into the city to be with us. My grandmother would have a house filled with children. My grandmother had a big house with a black fence around it and we would play and play until we were tried. When we were not at my grandmother’s house we were at my Aunt Mandy’s house, she liked to bake cakes and she would serve us cake and soda pop. She had three big dogs that we would play with her dogs and feed, it was fun.
The last place on my list as my favorite memories was when I visited San Antonio, Texas. A group of us we went to the River Walk and rode on paddle boats it was beautiful. We went shopping at the River Walk Mall it was made of glass, you could look down on the River Walk and see the people walking and paddling in their paddle boats. We went to the Hyatt Regency to eat which was off of the River Walk and the Mall. We had fajitas and margaritas, we talked and talked and one of the people I was talking to happens to be my husband today. I did not know then that we would end up together, but we did.
Some of the most important people in my life that left a lasting impression. Is my mother she is what I consider to be my super woman. She left a bad husband, moved to another state with three babies, put herself through nursing school at night and worked during the day and she made it. She has always tried to protect us from life’s terrible experiences. My mother put her life on hold for me and my sisters. She did not bring men around us. She made sure we had a roof over our heads and food on the table even though we had to cook it. She taught us to cook, clean and take care of ourselves at an early age so we could be independent and take care of ourselves. She has always wanted us to go to school and make something out of ourselves. She is proud of me for going back to college.
The next important person in my life was my grandmother she was a strong woman and a delight. She left my grandfather and move to the city because she did not want to live in the country anymore. They stayed married and if she needed something he would give it to her. They were married for 40 years. She worked in the French Quarters of New Orleans until she retired. She taught us to dream big and do whatever it takes to make our dreams come true or at least try. If you tried your best you would not feel mad about it if you did not make it.
The next person in my life was my grandfather He was a Baptist minister and a farmer. Although the average person could look at him and not see a wealthy man, he was rich in many ways he sold his produce to markets around the city. (We could get away with any thing because Grandpa “said so”). We did not break the rules because he was a little strict, He also taught us about the bible. He taught us that no one is better than you are. He also taught us to always believe in ourselves. The next person on my list is my Aunt Mandy. She was a loving person. We got away with murder with her. She had all of us spoiled rotten. Anything we wanted within reason we got it. She would bake cakes for us from scratch and she would teach us how to cook. I enjoyed going to her house in the summer time.
What I was like as a teenager? I was a horrible mess. I gave my mother hell by skipping school. She would drop me off at the front door and I would slip out the back door. My mother would tell me not to smoke and I would do it any way. I still smoke today. I am trying to quit but it is hard. I guess because I have been smoking for over 25 years. I have quit twice when I was pregnant with my two kids.” Teens and young adults often smoked cigarettes because it seems like an adult behavior, a status they strongly desire. Twenty-one percent of Americans smoke cigarettes” (Witt, & Mossler, (2010) p. 4 para.4).
I dated a boy name Dexter who was four years older than I was. I was only 15 years old, when I met him. I would go out at night and stay out late or I would stay out all-night long. I continued to skip school or just would not go. My mother could not tell me what to do, but she did tell me I would regret what I was doing. I would say “yeah right”. And continue on. As we study theories of adult development, I was struck by Erikson’s theories of psychosocial stages. Our text tells us that “Erikson found those who did not achieve identity as a teenager anguish over who they are and how they fit into their social world, a state of confusion.”(Witt & Mossler (2010 p.8 para.2)) I certainly went through this stage. At 16, I did not know who I was or what I wanted to do with my life, and I believed that becoming a wife and mother would give me a sense of identity and belonging. So I got pregnant after being pregnant for three months my mother came to me and told if me I wanted the baby I would have to get married. So I married Dexter and played the wife roll and had the baby. We were together a year and a half.
I decided I did not want to be married anymore. So I left and went home to my mother. I got my GED and started college I also got a fulltime job. It was hard working fulltime and going to school part-time. I did not have time for my baby with having to study until two or three o’clock in the morning. So I gave up school and took care of my daughter. Raising a child requires a new set of interpersonal skills, though. According to Blythe Lipman (2008) is true that knowing how to take care of an infant is instinctual, requiring no training. According to parenting consultant Blythe Lipman (2008) “When mom is alone with her crying newborn, her instinct is to quiet the baby, but she may not know what to do. Parting skills are not instinctual they must be learned at some point in life” Blythe Lipman (2008 p. 40 para. 4).
The final most important person in my life is my spouse, Lee Wilson. I truly believe he is my sole mate. We have known each other for 22 years and been married for 13years. He has seen me at my lowest points in my life. We have one child together who is a boy. Together we have two children and one grandchild. We have helped each other with many ups and downs as well as being each others great support system. He stays on me about my school work and helps me in any way he can. He cooks while I study. This helps me out a lot. Our families are a lot alike in many ways which is a good support system for me. I strongly believe in my heart of hearts with the great support system we have built together we can accomplish and survive the many hurdles of life.
In conclusion I look back and see that with all that I have overcome there is nothing that will stand in my way in achieving my goals. I see what my mother was trying to warn me about, but I was too stupid to listen. Life was hard for the two of us however; my mother was there for me. She let me learn my lesson though. She is proud of the person I have become today and glad that I am back in school. The goals I have set will benefit me and my family. I learned I had to let my children make their mistakes and be there for them like my mother was there for me.

References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2009a). Fast facts about

smoking. http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/fast_facts/index.htm.
Retrieved November 2009.
Lipman, B. (2008). More help! My baby came without instructions Phoenix, AZ: Busey.
Witt, G.A., & Mossler, R. A. (2010). Adult development and life assessment. San Diego,
Bridgepoint Education, Inc. (https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUPSY202.10.1)