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What if? (Remart Dumlao) If only I could turn back the time, the time that my family is still complete; laughing, sharing, helping each other. I will do all graceful things that I haven’t done before. My life could have been much happier and more colorful as it is now. Maybe I don’t have regrets why I haven’t tried to do things that somehow will make me happy and satisfied. There are so many what ifs that are running on and keep taunting on my mind. What if I did this? What if I’ve done that? What if? I can still remember my graduation day, where the wall was my companion. No one in the family bothered to waste even a single minute. I saw my classmate and her mother who were then very happy having their snacks. They kept on laughing and I could see in their eyes that they are very much contented being together, as if they do not have any problem and the world smiles at them as if they’re only soul in the world that would be happy. Drop of tears suddenly fell down my face from the windows of my soul. Then, someone tapped my shoulder and whispered saying “I’m available balong to be your mother”. I’m so thankful for that living angel, which is my adviser. I continued watching my classmate and his mother when suddenly; I paused and had a little realization. What if my mother and I were doing that? Could we get happier than them? Will they also envy us? This scenario created the question that kept on dashing my mind, which I could not escape and make self-pity. As I went through my apprehensions, I have seen that life is not fair. Experiences are not fair. Individuals are not fair. Why? It is because I have proven everything in this world. It is not fair but even though the very thing that I have is my faith to God. How can I make everything fair? Did God created us with life’s uncertainty? What if I had a happy childhood?
Would I become the person I am right

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