...Running head: CRITIQUE OF THEORY A Theory Critique: Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Linda Mario Liberty University Summary: Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend The determinants of marital heartache are diverse. Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend address boundaries that have sustained multiple marriages and have advocated for the happiness between married couples. When one reads the title, he or she might think the boundaries the authors are trying to set in marriages are on their spouse but “Boundaries are not something you “set on” another person. Boundaries are about yourself” (Cloud & Townsend, 1999, p. 28). The focal points of this book include theories about boundaries, values, resolving conflict, and keeping God in a marriage. Cloud and Townsend (1999) explain that boundaries in marriage is fundamentally about love; prompting, growing, developing, and repairing the love (p.9). John 4:16 states “love is at the heart of marriage, as it is at the heart of God himself” (p.9). Cloud & Townsend (1999) present boundaries in different ways through words, truth, consequences, emotional distance, physical distance, other people and time. The descriptions of these points are crucial pieces in Cloud and Townsend’s theory. An individual’s language and words assist in defining who he or she is as a person and “what you believe, what you want, and what you don’t” (Cloud & Townsend...
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...Dispute resolution strategies Name Institution Abstract The paper is about dispute resolution strategies. It identifies three strategies and discusses them in details. Specifically, the paper entails an elaborate discussion on mediation, negotiation and compromise as conflict resolution strategies. Mediation and negotiation are alternative dispute resolution ADR strategies while compromise is an incorporation of litigation and can also be part of ADR. The three strategies are applicable for organizational and other types of conflicts. Apart from proposals off the potential applications of the methods, the paper also presents a comparison between the three methods and the legal systems of resolving conflict. In addition, it discusses in brief the processes, benefits and the limitations of the processes. Mediation Mediation entails a due process that involves a neutral third party, a mediator, in conflict resolution. The mediator is never judgmental nor partisan during the process. The mediator never decides any wrongdoers but focus on the problem-solving process. Mediation allows for the revision and adjustment of the conflict scope. Agreements after mediation are readily acceptable than those from a judicial ruling because all participants are involved in reaching a compromise. Mediation is informal and involves a mediator that guides the process. The mediator engages the disputants to drop hostilities and come to a mutual agreement. In fact...
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...cost and delays in litigation procedures together with increasing globalization have led to more flexible means of resolving disputes which provide alternatives to court-based litigation governed by the law and procedure of a particular state or country. Disputes are generally an inevitable part of human interaction; they may be domestic, international, civil, commercial or economic in nature. Litigation has been the traditional method of resolving disputes, which may arise as a result of default by a party. Overtime, the process of litigation has become more and more time consuming, expensive and cumbersome and increase in the number of cases in courts have led to congestion and delay in their resolution. Some Disputes are sensitive and confidential in nature and disputants may prefer settlement in private to one in public glare of court. In addition, the complexity of court litigation tends often times towards increase in costs which disputants are naturally anxious to reduce. On the other hand, there may be claims involving small sums, which may not be worth the cost of litigation. All these have led to the development of alternative methods of resolving disputes. 1.2 ALTERNATIVE DISPUTE RESOLUTION METHODS The term “Alternative Dispute Resolution” (ADR), is used generally to describe the methods and procedures used in resolving disputes either as alternatives to the traditional dispute resolution mechanism of the court or in some cases supplementary...
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...Marriage Tina Calhoun Adult and Family Development BSHS 371 Joycelyn Bennett, MA – Instructor September 12, 2012 The author of this paper will prepare a written paper on marriage. She will describe some of the problems that affect a marriage, how those involved are affected, ways the problems can be prevented and approaches for resolving or improving the problem along with resources. Upon researching the subject of marriage the author found that the number one reason for marital problems is financial disagreement. Although, money may not appear to be directly related to problems in a marriage mast of the time it is. Negative behavior patterns such as one spouse lying or withholding financial information cause many marriages to fall apart. Research done over the last 20 years show that negative patterns or behavior can destroy a marriage. There are four negative behavior patterns the author will discuss. The negative behavior pattern is escalation. Escalation occurs when a couple’s conversation gets more and more hostile through continually upping the ante of negative back and forth responses. A small disagreement soon blows into a major fight as the level of anger and frustration increases with each negative comment. Tailed marriages and marriages with problems find arguments that escalate to the point that damaging things are said find their oneness and intimacy quickly shattered by a few thoughtless words. There are two ways escalation...
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...Relationships are all about give and take, and to maintain them people must be willing to do the work. Today dissolution of marriage is being used as the easy way out when couples can no longer agree. Although people tend to think carefully before they get marriage, the rate of divorce continuously rise nowadays. There are three main causes of divorce: lack of communication, financial problems, and infidelity, which are explained throughout this essay. The first significant cause for divorce is lack of communication. A marriage is on the rocks when the line of communication fails. Couples can’t have a good relationship if either spouse won’t discuss his or her feelings, can’t talk about his or her mutual or personal issues, or expect the partner to guess what the problem is about. Without healthy communication, couples have little chance of resolving any conflict that arises during their marriage. This includes conflict of opinion with regards to small issues and bigger ones, like religion, raising or having children, job opportunities and money management. Another cause of divorce is financial issues. Budget problems and debt arising out of low or reduced income is an example of a financial cause of divorce. A couple struggling to make ends meet has the potential to cause conflict within the marriage. Fighting over how to budget becomes a major issue in the marriage. In many cases one of the partners is not happy with the overspending habits of the other individual. This can cause...
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...experienced divorce, and only the man or the woman experienced divorce. Based on previous studies, Mullet and Stolberg wanted to know whether or not the level of intimacy and communication contributes to unsuccessful relationships in young adults who experienced their parents’ divorce. They believed a woman who has experienced parental divorce will have a higher level of negative communication. They also believed that relationships in which the man only experienced parental divorce would decrease likely hood of his divorce because the woman would be more likely to have better conflict resolution skills and the man can adapt to that. Regarding relationships where the man and woman did not experience their parents’ divorce, higher levels of communication and intimacy would be present and will decrease risk of their own divorce. Finally regarding the couples where both partner’s experienced parental divorce may fear conflict and cause decrease in intimacy over time and lead to divorce. Mullet and Stolberg found that communication is negatively affected when only the female has experienced parental divorce, but not the man. Intimacy...
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...appropriately. This is listening vs. merely hearing. Listening skills are the first step to understanding another person and where they are coming from. In a classroom setting, listening skills allow a student to grasp the concepts that the teacher is trying to convey, rather than being distracted and therefore unable to properly respond. * As mentioned, good listening and responding skills are a vital part of every role and necessary in countless situations. Some careers in which they are central are teaching, counseling, administration, caregiving, customer service and clergy. Listening and responding skills are essential in romantic and marriage relationships, friendships, parent-child, service-clientele and any other relationships that involve meeting on common ground. These skills are tools for learning, bonding and resolving conflict that improve with practice. * Listening Barriers * There are several factors that can get in the way, or detract from the ability to listen. Strong personal emotion, pre-conceived judgments, cultural differences and environmental distractions are some of these factors. These can be overcome by intentionally focusing on the speaker, making eye contact, and putting aside personal bias. Empathy, identifying with another's feelings, can overcome these barriers, and accurately interpreting the message in your own words is also helpful to active listening. Responding * Responding skills are as important as listening. When responding...
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...Abstract Marital conflicts arise when two people wish to passionately express their individuality within their bonded union. Conflict of any kind is a healthy exercise in patience and understanding. There are positional boundaries’ that should be respected and valued in marital relationships. Marital satisfaction and longevity can be achieved if the two partners adhere to the rules of engagement in their attempt to express their needs and desires while valuing each other’s difference and individuality. However, when there is a sense of love loss within the dyadic relationship, conflicts can become detrimental to marital bliss. Achieving marital satisfaction and longevity can be challenging when passions are high and couples are in a constant state of flux due to verbal confrontation, or gender-role conflict. Keywords: marital conflict, marital longevity, conflict resolution and marital Satisfaction. Effects of Unresolved Conflict on Marital Satisfaction and Longevity Within the binding bonds of marital bliss, there is a dynamic that occasionally rears its ugly head; conflict. There have been married couples throughout time in memoriam who have declared that conflict does not reside within the confines of their marriages. (These are “the avoiders,” they will be discussed later in this composition.) If this is true, then how does a marital relationship survive if each partner impedes the value of differentiation while still remaining true too, and loving...
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...of work, a play called As You Like It. The premise of the play is due to family disagreements among the elite, a pair of lovers are unable to effectively be together. The Duke Frederick who had been previously housing Rosalind, daughter of a different Duke, changes his mind and banishes her from court. To remedy this, Rosalind decides to disguise herself as a male and engage on various adventures to pursuit the one she loves. In the process of finding loopholes to eventually marry her beloved, Rosalind (who is known as Ganymede in her male disguise) manages to get several other couples together. Near the end of the play, where the marriages of the other couples are about to take place – comes the usage of Deus Ex Machina. This takes place in scene four where the God of Marriage, Hymen appears miraculously to give his blessings to the marriages, ”Then is there mirth in heaven/ When earthly things made even/ Atone together /Good duke, receive thy daughter/ Hymen from heaven brought her/ Yea, brought her hither/ That thou mightst join her hand with his/ Whose heart within his bosom is” (As You Like It, Act V Scene...
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...Scott, and Tyler Perry himself is the story about the struggle married couples to remain faithful to one another, while focusing on achieving their goals. Each couple participates in a Mountain retreat that takes place in Colorado Mountains in order to focus on the nature of their marriage, reflect on their love for one another. This provided a break from career, daily routine, to reflect on the state of their marriage, while resolving existing issues, dealing with conflict, while maintaining their love for each other. This movie is a contemporary view of African American lifestyles, culture, and life’s issues. Contemporary viewing in African American media is the direct result of how African Americans have worked hard, to overcome past struggles thus changing culture, ideals, beliefs, creating a new way for future generations. This movie can be seen from a variety of areas, such as education level and socioeconomic class conflict. This can also be seen from the gender perspective, as a rival between female behaviour in a relationship, and male behaviour in a relationship. Class, and education can be further analyzed into the lifestyle that is influenced by it, creating new concerns; hence the marriage problems that differ within education and economic class levels. While numerous other theories; sociological, semiotics, Marxist and others can be employed to analyze this film; I am choosing to analyze this film using Psychoanalytic theory. Within psychoanalytic theory, the Oedipus...
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...CONFLICT SITUATIONS Arguments and conflicts are rarely pleasant. When they take place at work, they disrupt efficiency and poison interpersonal relationships. At home, they add stress and tension to everyday life, and can lead to further dysfunction if they aren't settled amiably. Resolving conflicts agreeably is an invaluable life skill, and can reap immeasurable benefits both in family life and in a professional environment. The key is to approach the conflict with basic psychology and a RESPECT for both sides. WORKPLACE CONFLICT Dispute Resolution 1. CALMNESS The first step to resolving conflict is to stay calm and approach the subject rationally. Undue emotion obscures the issue and exacerbates argumentative tendencies. Stay calm, speak objectively and apply rationality to the situation. Identify the SOURCE of the conflict rather than responding to the surrounding anger. Once the issue is clarified and the terms are known, it becomes easier to resolve it. 2. RESPECT Going hand in hand with calmness is a willingness to acknowledge and respect the other person's point of view. This is not the same thing as simply surrendering to him or her, or allowing your own arguments to be shunted aside. Rather, it means verbally recognizing where the other person is coming from and accepting his or her emotional state. Allow him or her a certain amount of venting, if necessary (so long as it remains "blowing off steam" and not deliberate hurtfulness), then express your point of view...
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...Superstars and marriage Din kommentar til “Where is that voice coming from?”: Your analytical essay is much better than your previous one. Your language is fluent and varied, but how much do you know of analysing a fictive text? You have NOT underlines the topic sentences. Do that next time. 10 Last time I forgot to underline the topic sentences, so I will do that this time. Moreover, even though this is not a fictive text, I will try to do a proper analysis. I will also make proper references to the quotes I will be using, since I did not do that in the previous assignment. I will in this assignment look for the most interesting arguments, Gethin Chamberlain’s way to present the conflict, and the different views on the marriage. The article “How a tale of superstar love fuelled the bitter feud between India and Pakistan” by Gethin Chamberlain, a British photojournalist based in India is about the marriage of Shoaib Malik and Sania Mirza. A marriage that restarted the old feud between the Hindu-Indians and Muslim-Pakistanis. The two superstars had fallen in love, and decided to get married, but their decision caused a lot of discussion and many problems, just because of their different nationalities. This has lead me to my main question, “Is marrying across boarders still a problem, in our modern society?” Chamberlain presents the conflict in a very informing, clever and neutral way, and thereby giving the reader a chance to create their own attitude upon the matter...
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...Effective Communication Skills By Elizabeth Scott, M.S. Updated June 30, 2014 . Ads: Skills in Communication Conflict Resolution Communication Exercises Workplace Communication Listening Young woman sitting on tire swing, talking to man, close-up Noel Hendrickson/Photographer's Choice RF/Getty Images Ads Happy Marriage Secrets biblicalcounselinginsights.com Want to Fireproof Your Marriage? Do Marriage God’s Way Scholarships For Students www.unicaf.org/MBA/Scholarship In Africa,MBA & M.Ed Apply &Find Out If You Are Eligible KE Domain Sale www.webhostkenya.co.ke Co.ke Domains Ksh 1160. Pay by Mpesa Top Related Searches•poor communication skills •effective communication skills •dealing with conflict •mutual understanding •springboard •misunderstandings Ads Free Prophecy For You yourpersonalprophecy.com Get God's Plan For You in 2014. Receive Your Free Written Prophecy! Dictionary Free Download www.dictionaryboss.com Word Definitions, Translate & More. Download Dictionary Boss Today! Conflict in a relationship is virtually inevitable. In itself, conflict isn’t a problem; how it’s handled, however, can bring people together or tear them apart. Poor communication skills, disagreements and misunderstandings can be a source of anger and distance, or a springboard to a stronger relationship and happier future. Next time you’re dealing with conflict, keep these tips on effective communication skills in mind and you can create a more positive outcome. Difficulty:...
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...Conflict Resolution and Mediation: A Look at Same Sex Couples Psychology 399 Kari Holter May 3rd, 2013 Conflict can be both good and bad and with mediation and conflict resolution we can handle conflict situations properly and strengthen relationships. In this paper I will focus on same sex couples and how mediation and conflict resolution is the same and different compared to heterosexual couples. I will talk about some background info on conflict, mediation, and same sex couples and families. I will then discuss the 4 articles I read and what was found on same sex couples and mediation. CONFLICT Conflict is the interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatibility and the possibility of interference from others as a result of this incompatibility (Folger, Poole, Stutman, 2009). The most important feature of conflict is human interactions and they are sustained by behaviors of the parties involved and their reactions to one another. These reactions are usually verbal and nonverbal communication. MEDIATION Mediation is a range of processes in which a mediator facilitates communication between parties to assist the parties in reaching voluntary decisions related to their dispute (SBHE Policy 605.5, Antes, 2003). There are three types of mediation. 1. Transformative – empowerment and recognition opportunities are supported. 2. Facilitative – parties reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. 3. Evaluative – parties decide based upon...
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...or problems either one or both are struggling to overcome. Steve and Cindy have recently begun this journey by seeking help with their marriage from a pastoral counselor at their church who uses Olson’s PREPARE/ENRICH program (2009). They have both taken the program’s online tests, which cover a multitude of key areas such as the couple’s background, relationship dynamics, and personalities. This paper addresses three main areas including the identification of the couple’s key strengths and weaknesses, a discussion of potential issues with the couple’s personality, and the development of a plan to counsel and support them through church ministry. * Key Areas Identified * Hawkins (1991.p.23) describes the concept of intimacy as “oneness with healthy separateness”. When reviewing the results of Olson’s PREPARE/ENRICH report (2009), it becomes evident that many areas of strength and weakness exist in the couple’s relationship. The answers provided under idealistic distortion indicate that both Steve and Cindy realize that there are problems in the marriage needing to be addressed but Steve is minimizing the severity of the problem. Cindy’s results state that she is generally realistic and admits there are existing problems but later on, under other categories, begins minimizing also. There are several instances where this type of conflict occurs between the answers. According to Hawkins (1991. p.28), intimacy exists in three ways, emotional, spiritual, and physical. The...
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