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Ridiculed

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Ridiculed

Her name was called. At first she was confident that she would deliver her explanation well. She walked straight to the front where everyone can see her. She was about to speak when her teacher interrupted her saying let’s take picture first with your work. She was nervous because she is in front, 28 pair of eyes was looking at her but she smiled. Feeling like a pageant winner that she wished to be. But someone shouted saying “tinatago ang taba” at first it was okay for her because she was used to it; very used to it that calling her mataba, fat, baboy and all those names never bothered her. She built thick and long walls around her, shielding her from this “fat-shaming” but today was different. She’s in front of 28 people laughing and mocking her; 28 people who she thought her own friends. She saw her friend, the blond girl, laughing her ass off. She started questioning herself, what did I do to her to receive this kind of mockery? I am one of the people who listened to her dramas in life, who lend her shoulder to cry on; the only person who never judged her even when people found out that she had sex with her on-and-off boyfriend. She also saw her best friends jeering. And at that exact moment, she realized she never had a real friend because no one stood up for her.
It took an hour for people to notice her teary-eyes and contorted face. But she tried her best not to cry in front of this fucking people who never know the feeling of being downtrodden. She swallowed the big lump on her throat and tried to explain her work without looking at them. She went back to her seat and tried to blink the tears away but she failed. She cussed and reprimanded herself. You know she hated herself. She hates how weak, fat and sensitive she is.
People, especially her friends, went to her and asked for her forgiveness including the person who started it all. She said it was okay but deep down she know it’s not okay, it will never be okay. She know that this will leave her a very deep wound that even thousands of muttered sorry can’t suffice to heal them. But she tried to brush it all off. She even covered her scarred heart to forgive the people she once loved but it never occurred to her, that her experience from that day will change her.

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