I’ve always liked to think about the thought of being a deep thinker
Like the philsorapter. What do we both think about? Life
So being the deep think I am, I have drawn a conclusion we all have a roll of thread.
On this thread lays the decisions we’ve made, make and will make. So yes, on it also lays the decision I’ve made to wait 2 weeks to do my essay the night before
This thread is our lifeline with fate, destiny and whatever else you what combine.
It determines the people we’ll meet, the places we’ll see, and who we become. It determines if you passed that exam or whether he’s going to ask you to that dance.
But you see, you don’t know your mark until you hold it in your hands or he’s interested until he asks about your weekend plans.
This all-mighty roll of thread makes us wait, anticipate.
I didn’t know
I didn’t know when I waved goodbye it would be the last time I looked into his aged eyes. I didn’t know that the call would come before my flight and before I could even pack his heart monitor beep and went flat.
I didn’t know, and I’m so sorry I didn’t show
Because the roll of thread made me wait, anticipate
I’m don’t even know that I’m waiting for
Because I don’t know if it’s rolling down a busy street or somewhere only the birds can soar
I don’t know if it’s floating down a steady stream or being tossed in an angry ocean where the gulls cry and the waters roar
I don’t know if it’s up a soft, green hill kissed by raindrops or tumbling down a sharp, jagged mountain where the rain never stops
And I can’t calm down because no matter how many times you tell me to, I can’t tell it to go with the flow, drift wherever the wind blows because it knows I desperately want to know
So it makes me wait. Anticipate
Mankind always prided themselves of their knowledge. I want to know, I yearn to know, I need to know
But no. The roll of thread never goes easy, shows no mercy because no matter I much I beg, how hard I plead, how long I stay on my knees, the answer is always no.
So I search. Ever so clueless, I search. For answers nobody told me I would never find and all I’ll amount to is circles and I walk around blind
I figured out for myself that lighthouse at the port, no light at the end of the tunnel to guide my forth, no star to show me north
My role of thread rolls ever so slowly, so cruelly, so unpredictable
Because it likes, it loves to make me wait. Anticipate
It’s just not fair because I couldn’t have ever prepared for all the things I had to bare. Oh please, just roll a little faster, let me see a little further, bring me a little closer
I didn’t know
I never know that wouldn’t been our last fight
Because I swear to god if I did I would’ve dropped all my pride to compromise and taken every chance to apologize that night. At the time I didn’t realize.
Together, we were the warmest ray of light, our future shined so bright. And even you were gone, you scent, your voice blocked my sight from everything else I thought was right
Because I lost my sight, I lost the only answer I had found. The one I was so sure was true. I never realized that was yours was not mine and what was mine was not…you.
Now here I stand. I surrender.
I have no more questions because I’ve learned I’ll never find the answers
I’ve learned no matter how much I beg, how hard I plead, how long I stay on my knees the answer is always, always no
I’ve learned I can only go where my thread decides to go
I am left with nothing to do but wait. Anticipate