Save as many as you ruin

The short story Save as many you ruin is written in 2007 by Simon Van Booy. The theme in the story is about existentialism. In the story we are following Gerard, who is the protagonist. He has a midlife crisis. Gerard thinks a lot about his past and sometimes he questions his own life. He thinks whether he has done enough in his life. The protagonist has a conflict with his past and he feels somehow stuck in his past because of a bad relationship.
Gerard is the main character in the story. He is the father to a little girl called Lucy and he loves her a lot. Gerard is a handsome guy, who sleeps with a lot of women. He had an affair with Lucy’s mom Issy when he was with Laurel. He had never loved Lucy’s mom, only Laurel. When he found out that Issy was pregnant, he chose to settle down and be a good parent to Lucy. But Issy chose to leave her husband and child. Gerard is a good father and responsible person, the fact that he chose to stay with Issy even if he didn’t love her. Furthermore Gerard attended Issy’s funeral and this shows that he is a decent person. He questions his own existence: “Gerard thinks of his own footprints and how soon they will disappear.” (Page 3 lines 43) This quote shows us that he is seeking for something more in his life. He feels that he is miserable in his life. He perceives his own existence and he wonders if he has made a mark in his life: “Gerard told her that he was caught because it began to snow and left footprints” (Page 3 lines 45). Gerard meets Laurel after a very long time and this meeting with Laurel gives him hope: “He knows that before long Laurel will move in with him” (Page 6 lines 196). We see in this quote that Gerard is very confident and he wants to start a life with Laurel. Beside that this quote tells us that he is very good with women and he doesn’t have any problems to get the woman he wants.
Another way to understand the main character’s situation is the contrast that is used in the short story. Gerard sees his world through contrast. His life is built on contrast for example: “He won a medal. Hitler watched. Millions were about to be killed(…) (Page 1 line 15-16). This example shows us that he lived a happy life while some were dying. His daughter Lucy and her mom is also a contrast. Lucy means a lot to Gerard and Issy doesn’t mean anything to him. Lucy is the best thing that happened to him in his life and Issy was a mistake. He never expected a life with Issy. And Laurel and Issy is also a contrast: “Gerard vaguely remembers the feeling of being in love with Laurel and the desire to have sex with Issy (Page 5 lines 123). One more contrast is the present and the past. This contrast is an important one for the story in the way that Gerard’s past has an influence on his present and it gives an understanding for Gerard. His past symbolizes his mistakes and his regrets. The past links to his relationship with Issy. Beyond that another contrast is: “He wonders if his life is an extraordinary one” (Page 1 line 9) and: “He must have thought that I was like everyone else, thinks Gerard” (Page 1 line 24). These two quotes are in contrast to each other. Furthermore these two quotes symbolize that he feels special and he doesn’t want to be normal like everybody else. These contrasts link to the protagonist and his midlife crisis. Gerard has these existential thoughts and he thinks whether or not he has achieved self-fulfillment, and this shows us maybe he has a midlife crisis. Lastly the contrasts that are used in the story give an understanding for the protagonist, in other words the contrasts are a metaphor for Gerard’s life.
The mood in the story changes a lot. It seems like when Gerard thinks of Issy, he becomes uncomfortable and the thought of Issy makes him sad and the whole mood becomes gloomy. When he thinks about Laurel the mood suddenly changes. The mood changes to hopeful and he has this expectation to be with Laurel again and to get a second chance. The thought of creating a life with Laurel makes him happy. The mood in the text is also a contrast because it changes from a good atmosphere to a more sad one. It has something to do with his choice in the past because he had an affair that cost him the loss of Laurel. He feels like he can’t be happy because the past is haunting him and Issy is haunting him; “Gerard feels as though he is being followed, that there are voices he can’t hear, that the footstep of snow on the window are just that, and like Lucy’s conception”(Page 6 line 206). We see in this quote that even though Issy is dead and she is the past, she still has an effect on his present. In this quote Issy appears as a ghost who is haunting Gerard. The mood changes between the past and the present which is also a contrast and this is also a central point for the text because it gives the readers knowledge about Gerard. It seems that Gerard is stuck in the past and stuck with Issy.
The theme in the story is existentialism. The message in the text is about taking the right choices or you will end up with a midlife crisis later in your life. This value reflects on the main character, we see that through the mood and the contrast in the text. The mood and contrast gives an idea that Gerard has regretted his past choices because of his mistake in the past, he lost a life with Laurel.
To sum up the story; Gerard has Lucy in his life even though he has lost Laurel and Issy. Gerard gets a second chance when Laurel shows up in his life. The mood in the text changes a lot because the mood symbolizes Issy and Laurel. The contrast in the text shows us what makes him happy and what makes him unhappy. The contrasts in the story are a metaphor for his Gerard’s life. Besides that Gerard has existential questions because of his past with bad relationships.