Save as Many as You Ruin
Miracles and catastrophes are inevitable in life and so is the past. Therefore it’s not possible to run away from what happened earlier in life and the footprints we made back then. However, after every catastrophe miracles often get the opportunity to flower. In the short story “Save as Many as You Ruin”, written in 2007 by Simon Van Booy, the main character; Gerard, is given due to fate the opportunity to be blessed by new chances in order to save what has been ruined in the past.

In the past, before Gerard became a father to a little girl named Lucy, Gerard lived a hectic “businessman’s” life consisting of constant social events including ladies and uncountable amounts of money. More precisely he lived the Hollywood lifestyle. Back then he also enjoyed the promiscuous life where sex was never the same, “He has slept with many women” (p.2, l.34), but despite of this, what Gerard regrets most from his past is his desire to have sex with Izzy: “Gerard vaguely remembers the feeling of being in love with Laurel and the desire to have sex with Izzy. He knew that other men enjoyed the occasional partner outside of long-term relationships, and he wanted to try it.” (p.6, ll. 123-126) Even though he is genuinely in love, for the first time, with Laurel as the above sentence also explains, he commits a crime, which sooner puts on a show of huge regret and his conscience is still being plagued by this mistake.

However, accentuating the mood in the story with constant flashbacks of Gerard’s past, the movement of the snow is being mentioned on several occasions for instance in the beginning: “By the time Gerard leaves the office it has stopped snowing” (p.1, l.1) and later on “It suddenly begins snowing again” (p.2, l.25). The snow influences the perception of the mood, as it coherences with the storyline. Furthermore the snow also has a symbolic meaning, as Gerard refers quite a lot to the footprints he sees in the snow. These footprints first of all make him reflect about his own and everyone else’s existence, as it says in the text: “Gerard thinks of his own footprints and how soon they will disappear. He exhales into the world and his breath disappears”. (P.1, ll.7-8) These lines metaphorically indicate how Gerard views his own existence in life the same as everyone else; he fades into the picture just like the people on the opposite side of the street. He doesn’t feel superior to anyone or needed by anyone else except his daughter. This matter of fact hurts him, as this is what his life was determined by in his past.
Also, Gerard’s life is comparable to “The Invisible Man” in the movie, which he watches with Lucy: “Gerard told her that he was caught because it began to snow and he left footprints” (p.4, ll.45-46). The Invisible Man and Gerard’s past are also comparable, because by leaving footprints in the snow, one’s previous path in life will never completely disappear and thereby the past will always be able to track you down; footprints in the snow are always visible and so is the past.

In connection to the past, Gerard reflects about Holocaust in Germany and the Indians who lived on Manhattan when it was once a forest. These previous events contradict each other in a way where the contrast between respectively Holocaust and Indians suddenly has an importance. The contrast between them is clear, because Indians are mostly free people, who don’t live in fear while the Jews who are living in Holocaust are treated and conceived as animals. In relation to Gerard’s life these two contrasts do to some extent explain his emotional feelings and the way he perceives his own existence. On one hand Gerard feels free, free to form his own life as he can make his own decisions independent of other people, just like the Indians, but he also compares his own footprints in the snow to theirs, imagining what his future will look like. But on the other hand, he feels tied up to his past, as it hits him every time he thinks of Laurel and the mistakes he made. Holocaust has ruined many lives, just like Gerard ruined his and Laurel’s life together. Holocaust and Gerard’s affair with Izzy are both events that will never be forgotten.

In the short story we see quite a few contrasts especially the mood in the beginning of the story, as it is more dull and depressive while it suddenly changes when Gerard meets Laurel again. Here the mood changes into becoming more cheerful and his life begins to lighten up a little. However it’s also important to notice how Izzy is a completely opposite kind of woman compared to Laurel. Izzy is wild, independent of others and a release of Gerard’s’ desire for having sex with another woman, while Laurel is more subtle, calm and womanly: “Her face is still sharp and angular like a cubist painting, but softened by her eyes, which sunk or regressed partly into memory. He thinks she is more beautiful than ever.” (P.4, ll. 57-58). This describes very well how Gerard is painfully in love with his old friend and how he feels a strong desire for her love. Additionally, Lucy is also a contrast to her mother Izzy, because Lucy genuinely feels a strong love for her father just like he does for her: “Gerard feels a stabbing love for his daughter” (p. 1, l.18). Izzy chooses to leave Gerard alone with Lucy, which shows how obnoxious and self-centred she is, and yet she gives birth to a little girl who is the most caring and loving person a parent could ask for.

Conclusively as mentioned in the beginning, some things in life are inevitable no matter who you are, but luckily enough believing in fate can change a dull and depressive life into a miracle within a split second. Fate and predetermination of one’s future can turn a person’s world upside down and make the vanishing roots of their own existence begin to blossom and even more surprisingly, flower again by embracing second chances. ¨

However, whether it truly was fate or a coincidence that Gerard and Laurel fell into each other’s lives again - is hard to say, but a chance to start a new loving life together is made possible despite knowing that footprints from the past will always reach the surface when we’re least expecting them to. Most importantly, miracles and second chances enable us to save as many as we’ve ruined.