...Response Form (Your marked-up essay is below this form.) HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking's OWL; best wishes with revising your paper! *Strengths of the essay: Thanh , thank you for submitting your assignment for review. I am Ann B., your writing tutor. First, I want to point out a strength I noted when I read your paper. This sentence in the introduction presents a question and then answers it: College athletes are supposed to be the best of the best on that level, so why do college athletes not get paid? The question sets up the argument nicely for the reader! Now let’s move on to some areas that need revision. Content Development: A direct quotation like this one is not a good topic or first sentence: McCourt states “The athletes are ones who put in hours of practice and training” ( Evan Rosenfeld and Scarlett McCourt). Your audience may not understand why this quoted passage is important. The topic sentence should present a main point about athletes being paid in your own words. The first point is the hectic schedule. Can you write a topic sentence that introduces this point? I note that the second body paragraph does have a topic sentence introducing a point from the thesis in your own words: Another reason to why college athletes should get paid is they need money for expenses...
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...Two Sided Essay: Should College Athletes be Paid or not If the great Kansas basketball coach, Bill Self, can completely change his whole prospective on the idea of college athletes being paid, we all can! Self once stated that “[college athletics has] always [been] big business; now it's huge business. And when you're sending players from the West Coast to East Coast to play sports, to miss more classes, and the schools benefit from that financially, why shouldn't the people that are responsible for the business, and that would be the student athletes," (Kansas). At most colleges, college athletes are a key source of income, and they attract students to their institutions. Universities depend on their athletes to produce and maintain the popularity of their school's name. College athletes are supposed to be the best of the best on that level, so why do college athletes not get paid? The National Collegiate Athletic Association, NCAA, says that it is trying to protect the athletes from "exploitation by professional and commercial enterprises" (United). Many argue that student athletes should not be paid because they are receiving an essentially free education through a scholarship. These people feel that the promise of their education being paid for is enough for the college athletes. They reason that with free tuition, room, board, books, and fees, there are no other factorable costs that could significantly harm ones packets. However, on the opposite side of the issue, some...
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...Essay 1: There are many different things that can affect student performance. One example is bullying. When a child is bullied, it can negatively affect their school performance and achievement in many different ways. The child may feel socially withdrawn, or depressed. They could be getting bullied because they are out of the “social norm,” because they are different in some way, because of their clothes, or because of just about anything. Bullying has many impacts on the victim, which can also be shown through the school work and participation. Bullying can cause low self esteem and social problems. It can cause the student to not want to participate in school activities. The student may start not coming to class in order to avoid being bullied. They may even drop out or fail the class. The student may become more focused on the bullying or avoiding the bully than they are with their school work. Statistics say that half of students are bullied at least once a week, and that it affects 1/4th of high school students. Although teachers may not necessarily be aware of the bullying, if they are there are many ways to help. First, the teacher should not ignore it, and say something to the bully right away to try to stop it. They should also be there for the victim, and show that they are willing to help them through it and listen. Giving them extra time or one-on-one attention may also be a good idea to help the student cope. There are also many anti-bullying practice groups...
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...Essay mill From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia An essay mill (also term paper mill) is a resource that allows customers to purchase an original piece of writing on a particular topic. Customers provide the company with specific information about the essay, including: a page length, a general topic, and a time frame with which to work. The customer is then charged a certain amount for each page. [1] Contents [hide] 1 History 2 Products and services 3 Legal status 4 Criticism and controversy 5 Strategies for combating academic fraud 6 See also 7 Further reading 8 References History[edit] The ideology behind term paper mills can be dated back to the mid-nineteenth century in which "paper reservoirs" were located in the basements of Fraternity Houses. Otherwise known as "Fraternity files". these essay banks were practices in which students shared term papers and submitted work that had been done by other students.[2] These essay banks inspired the commercialization of ghostwritten essay-writing practices. As early as the 1950s, advertisements were circulating college campus that described services that included ghostwritten work for dissertations, theses, and term papers.[2] In conjunction with this practice, the changing attitudes of students in the 1960s and 1970s started to stray away from diligent and engaged course work because they saw an emphasis on the benefits of community involvement. A new focus on activities outside of the classroom took away from...
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...Should College Athletes be paid? What really is the true definition of an amateur? The true definition is a person who engages in a pursuit, especially a sport, on an unpaid basis. If this is the true definition then why are the schools paying their athletes to come and help bring the attention there school. I believe if this is going to happen, they need to do it equally and give the athletes what they are deserving of. Many athletes are giving their health and stability to help make their colleges revenue. I believe the only thing that is standing against this becoming the future instead of just an idea is the men at the corrupted NCAA (National College Athletic Association). I think the NCAA and the athletic boards throughout the United States are corrupt and are money hungry. However, not every collegiate sports bring in the revenue such as football and basketball do for their universities. So if college athletes were ever to be paid it would be because of these sports. Mostly, as the U.S. News reports that the NCAA brings in more than 1 billion dollars from the NCAA Men’s and Women’s basketball tournaments (U.S. News), where does the money go for the athletes who bring them such wealth? It ends up into to the hands of the men and women that have enough money than they can handle. Which is not setting good examples for their athletes that they are in charge of. If they NCAA truly wants the amateurism to stick throughout time and not have to pay their athletes,...
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...Essay 1 “Should Everyone Go To College?” In this report “Should Everyone Go to College?” written by Stephanie Owen and Isabel Sawhill, a senior research assistant in the center of children and a senior fellow in Economic studies and co-director of the center on children, spoke about how has been absurdly overrated. Owen and Sawhill reported in the first paragraph of the summary saying “By telling all young people that they should go to college no matter what, we are actually doing some of them a disservice” Their prove in the report is known to be 100% accurate because this proves were gotten from reliable sources like March CPS 2007-2010, Hess et al and some other reliable sources. The rate of return on education can be calculated by discovering the cost and benefit associated with a certain level of schooling, this cost will be made up of the cost of textbooks and stationery, salaries of all the staffs, cost of time and study, rent of land on which the institution is cited and some other expenses. The cost of education is very high so there is not much net benefit. In other words the higher the tuition of college education the lower the net benefit of attending. Owen and Sawhill's report says that “the correlation is not causation, and getting at the true causal effect of...
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...Is The Film Industry Sexist? In this essay, I’m going to go over how women are treated in the film industry, go over and explain the concept of the Bechdel test, show the pay gap in the industry and how this reflects backs to Wales and affects the students of Bryntirion. Finally I’ll say how the industry should change and how it can be made more aware off in schools. First let’s start with how women were treated in films in the early 1900’s. Women were always given the role as the housewife’s, the weak victim who need a male hero to save them or the slag of the film. Everyone thinks the industry has made lots of progress since then. However the scary fact is, the only thing that has changed is the time period. From 2007 to 2012, The...
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...Argument Essay Revision For quite some time now, people have been discussing whether American students should be attending school year round. People seem to think that if students are forced to go to school as long as students in other countries, they will be more studious. To be honest, I have always been interested in the lives of students who go to school all year. How can they stand being around their classmates and teachers all the time? Do they any get weekends off? Do they get any vacation time to be with their families? I wonder if the new arrangement will really make kids more interested in their studies. A lot people, including myself, feel that kids and teachers just need time to themselves. Also, people claim that the extended school time will leave less time for kids to get in trouble. While the argument is understandable, there is no guarantee that more school would keep kids out of trouble. If anything, depending on your child, it might get them time to get into even more trouble. Depending on how attentive the staff and administration of your child's school is, they could just cause problems there, and probably get away with more since there are no parents around. There has also been talk that students do not need the long break because they can forget what they learned in class. There have also been claims that students will be forced to study more and focus longer in class. For me, and many others with ADD, although possible, it would be quite difficult...
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...calculated average of the grades that you earn in school. You receive a GPA at the end of each semester based on the grades that you earned. You receive a good GPA by keeping good grades because a GPA is based off of how good your grades are, or how bad they are. The highest GPA you can get is a 4.0 and the lowest is a 0. You actually can get higher than a 4.0 but that’s really hard to get because you have to have extra credit in all of your classes. The highest GPA is a 4.0 but sometimes it can be higher depending on what school you go to. The lowest your GPA can be is a 0, which is really bad, and means that you absolutely no work. If you do no work or anything...
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...Post your essay. Get expert feedback. For free. We're trying to help students improve their writing the hard way. Do you know students who want critical essay reviews from a professor of English Literature? Click like to share. Click here to sign up and post your own essay. We offer no paid services. All reviews are completely free. Online Education Vs.Traditional Education - With A Free Essay Review Online Education Vs. Traditional Education; University Of Phoenix; Composition One; B. White While Online Education and Traditional Education have similar curriculum, they differ in flexibility, tuition, and being a visual learner to those who are not. There are similarities in the both and that is no matter which one you would choose whether it be online education or traditional education you are achieving your goals that you have set for yourself. While having Online Education, there is more flexibility than traditional classroom because you can do your coursework any time of the day or night without having a set schedule when you have to do your coursework. There are so many people that are choosing to further their education by taking online courses instead of traditional classroom because of their busy work schedules. Professors teaching online education have set hours that they are on to answer any questions that you may have just like they do in a traditional classroom With cost of tuition on the rise it is still cheaper to furthering your education by taking...
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...overwhelming and tough being a new student at a large public high school that has approximately 1,430 students and it may take awhile to get used to around the school or know what is going on at school but don’t stress yourself out. As a quote says, Don’t “wait for your life to begin” because it is already happening. Freshmen, keep that in your mind, your years at Aragon will go by quick. One important piece of advice that everyone struggle in school is to avoid procrastination. Many students do not realize how procrastination can hurt your grades or...
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...professional career than other career, like nursing or another medical profession. In my essay, I will argue about the pros and cons of the dental assisting profession. To get in the dental assistant program for certificate, there is a one-year training program. They require you to have a high school diploma or GED to start the class. If you have financial aid to pay for your class or for book, that’s good. If you are not eligible for financial aid because of your income, you must pay for your class before the due date. Once you are done with training, they give you a test at the end and if you pass the test you can get a job with your certificate. Students are assigned to work in local dental...
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...the 1100s, but they were not sanctioned until deemed by a Pope or King soon after. While this great honor of recognition brought a good rep with it, it also came with a price to the masters and their apprentices. Although the system today is quite modernized and is commonly available to all, scholars of the highest degree were the only participants, save it be the masters, of such study in the early days of college. This is also due to the fact that the general population was illiterate. Time passed on and shortly thereafter, universities were beginning to spread like wildfire throughout the nations and the ability to attend such institutions passed down to those who were wealthy or intelligent enough to be accepted. Masters with their students were the leaders of such centers, and they were free to delve into any subject they wished until the desire to become recognized grew. Recognition esteemed them to be great but at such a cost that they studied theology more intently than the liberal arts in order for them to catch the Pope’s eye. Fortunate for education, it progressed far passed theology to explore into the depths of science, reasoning, and technology which came much later in time. Fast forward a few centuries and a higher education became a more and more desirable accomplishment in society. This was especially so during the days of the Enlightenment. Upon the Enlightenment, many new minds were added to the playing field of knowledge and upper-level thinking which changed...
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...Professor McCall Should Every American Go to College? “I’m going to college!” those four letter words rung through my head, as I walked across my high school stage. Shaking hands with the people who were becoming a part of my high school past. I than sat down into my seat and reflected on a previous conversation a classmate and I had. I was explaining to him about my college plans and by the end of the conversation, he uttered terrible words to himself. “Everyone is not going to college”. Even though he may have said it out of fear or worry for himself. I assured him that he will go to college and it is possible for anyone. Every American should go to college because it gives opportunities for greater employment, higher pay, and college experience. Graduating from a community or university will give you greater employment opportunities. Therefore, just having a degree can further your knowledge and give you that ambition to climb up the work force pyramid. Have you ever wondered, why your boss is in the position he has today? Well, it is because of working hard for years, challenging himself to courses that he may have felt were unnecessary, but in the end to be worth it, and waking up to do it all over again. The more society feeds into the negativity that everyone does not belong in college. The more American people will believe it. There are many authors like Pharinet who takes their silver spoon full of negativity and force it down Americans throat. In Pharinet essay, “Is college...
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...brings happiness may have an unexpected adverse effect that may lead to a misallocation of time. For instance, when some one reflects on how money would change their sense of well-being, they would probably tempt to think about spending more time in leisurely pursuits such as seeing a three-dimensional movie or traveling abroad. But in reality, they would have to spend a large amount of time working and commuting and less time engaged in experienced happiness. On the other hand, it is undeniable that money has a brief effect on life satisfaction, particularly after we have got enough money to satisfy our fundamental need. For example, people who get richer would feel they are better than their peers. Nevertheless, they will soon make richer friends. Therefore, their relative wealth will not be greater than it was before; people quickly get used to all new stuff their money can buy and the amount of money people say they need rises along with their income. Consequently, the endless and vicious cycle in terms of physically and psychologically stress begins again. In conclusion, I believe that money does not always buy happiness, but it is not indicated that money cannot brings happiness. It is of great importance to deal with...
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