...t he fine art of small talk How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills— and Leave a Positive Impression! new york To Jared Fine Holst and Sarah Fine Holst, my inspiration and motivation. And the gentle wind beneath my wings, Steve Tilliss. C ontents Preface ix chapter 1 What’s the Big Deal About Small Talk? 1 chapter 2 Get Over Your Mom’s Good Intentions 12 chapter 3 Take the Plunge: Start a Conversation! 27 chapter 4 Keep the Conversation Going! 37 chapter 5 Let’s Give ’Em Something to Talk About 49 chapter 6 Hearing Aids and Listening Devices 66 viii . contents c hapter 7 Prevent Pregnant Pauses with Preparation 84 chapter 8 Conversational Clout 108 chapter 9 Crimes and Misdemeanors 114 chapter 10 The Graceful Exit 139 chapter 11 The Conversational Ball Is in Your Court! 154 chapter 12 Make the Most of Networking Events! 159 chapter 13 Surviving the Singles Scene 165 chapter 14 Feel-Good Factor 185 chapter 15 Holiday Party Savvy 192 chapter 16 Carpe Diem 195 Acknowledgments 201 Preface W hen I first got into the business of helping people cultivate conversation skills, I ran into a lot of skepticism. Invariably, executives would scoff at the idea of a housewife’s trivial initiative to overcome boredom. Then I would get clandestine calls for assistance from folks with prestigious titles...
Words: 36528 - Pages: 147
...P1 EXPLAIN THE ROLE OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION AND INTERPERSONAL INTERACTION IN A HEALTH AND SOCIAL CARE CONTEXT ONE TO ONE INTERACTION Effective communication is a conversation in which no one becomes confused by the other person's implication. The first thing you need to do to guarantee effective communication is to use consideration. The second thing is to ask Illustrative Questions; questions that attempt to uncover the other person's genuine meaning. An effective conversation can similarly mean a conversation in which something is accomplished. It can be a conversation in which two people both enjoy the conversation, learn something or get help with something, for example if Me and my Mother went to the GP, I would want the doctor to have a one on one with me and not my Mother because I am the one with the problem. One-to-one communication proficiencies are required for basic everyday communications in health and social care settings. They are also needed to form and sustain compassionate relationships with work associates and people who use care facilities. GROUP INTERACTION Communication in group situations is vital for social, intelligent and sensitive development. Health and social care workers converse in group situations when they contribute in: * Report or assignment meetings where individuals’ needs are conversed * Case meetings and release conferences * Beneficial and activity groups * Meetings with families and bosses of care societies. ...
Words: 377 - Pages: 2
...Oral Communication & Oral Report SWOT Analysis In the course of interacting with my parents, some things were clear thus, the opportunity to evaluate strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats with an objective of improving my conversations in future encounters. Strengths During this conversation, I was able to exploit appropriate resonance of vocal sound, which was good towards the achievement of quality and effective communication. There was also appropriate blend in relation to pitch, speed, and volume during the conversation thus realization of the effective communication. I was able to understand what I was saying during the conversation because of integration of an appropriate style to interact with my parents. In addition, I was also able to utilise quality words in accordance with the listeners’ vocabulary with the aim of expressing respect to my parent during the conversation. I am also able to adapt to any conversation. Weaknesses One of the potential weaknesses during the conversation is the tendency to experience distractions. In addition, I need to work on my presentation skills because I was suspicious at the start of the conversation. Another element of discussion was the tendency of murmuring words thus limiting realization of effective communication. Opportunities I have the opportunity to listen to myself over again with the aim of improving the voice quality. Furthermore, I have an opportunity to adopt and implement an effective...
Words: 561 - Pages: 3
...In the article “ The End of Small Talk” by Tim Boomer, the author uses real life examples including himself to portray how he feels people should communicate when they want to make a deep connection with each other. He starts out by telling the reader about how he just broke up with a girl he truly loved and had to move to Costa Rica to basically get away from everything. While there he met this woman who told him and his friends about how she had fallen in love instantly with a man that she had previously met. She opened herself up to the author and his friends, and the author said that it was one of the most beautiful things that he had ever encountered. When the trip was over the author found himself in a bar all alone listening to the conversation...
Words: 444 - Pages: 2
...talking about, you can say it in the plainest words and you'll be perceived as having a good style. With speaking it's the opposite: having good ideas is an alarmingly small component of being a good speaker. I first noticed this at a conference several years ago. There was another speaker who was much better than me. He had all of us roaring with laughter. I seemed awkward and halting by comparison. Afterward I put my talk online like I usually do. As I was doing it I tried to imagine what a transcript of the other guy's talk would be like, and it was only then I realized he hadn't said very much. Maybe this would have been obvious to someone who knew more about speaking, but it was a revelation to me how much less ideas mattered in speaking than writing. [1] A few years later I heard a talk by someone who was not merely a better speaker than me, but a famous speaker. Boy was he good. So I decided I'd pay close attention to what he said, to learn how he did it. After about ten sentences I found myself thinking "I don't want to be a good speaker." Being a really good speaker is not merely orthogonal to having good ideas, but in many ways pushes you in the opposite direction. For example, when I give a talk I usually write it out beforehand. I know that's a mistake; I know delivering a prewritten talk makes it harder to engage with an audience. The way to get the attention of an audience is to give them your full...
Words: 1186 - Pages: 5
... Unlike many students who like smiling and talking to others, I was not an outgoing student, which caused my classmates and teachers thought I was a “cool” girl. The word “cool” didn’t mean “unfriendly”, but mean I was not used to get alone with others. I tried to talk to some of my classmates, but the conversations between us soon over. I couldn’t talk a lot because I was afraid my words would hurt others. Sometimes, I was jealous the people who have a good communicate ability and have a lot of friends. One day, when I was having an English class, the teacher asked me to present a conversation with another student in our class. I was feeling nervous and awkward at the time when I stood up. I didn’t know what I should talk and even how to start this conversation. I knew my classmates and my teachers were looking forward to what I was going to say since I was such a “cool” girl in their eyes. “Hi!” said by my classmate. “Hi!” I said. “How are you?” He asked. “Good.” I answered. “Good! What did you do yesterday?” “ Study.” “Wow, you are a hardworking student. What did you have for dinner yesterday?” “Fish.” “I ate fish for dinner yesterday too. “ “Em.” I nodded my head. “Well, nice to talk to you, Bye.” “Bye.” After the conversation, the teacher asked me to go to his office after class. I felt embarrassed; however, I knew how my teacher disappointed...
Words: 544 - Pages: 3
...Wade talks 72% of the time, while Mr. Gow talks 9% of the time. In Mr. Gow’s case, students have the advantage of talking more in small groups and in class than Mr. Wade’s students. Mr. Wade’s practice is familiar to me, but as I remember my college and high school courses where teachers talked for the majority of the class time, I remember wanting to fall asleep, tuning out, and not listening to what they were saying. Therefore, I feel that Mr. Wade’s students would have done the same thing. The students are not soaking up the information he is saying because they are not actively participating in the discussion. In Mr. Gow’s discussion he has students look at he gives students a visual aid and asks them to study it and explain what is in the pictures. It says, “…it is interesting that it begins with students’ simply noting what they see but that within a dozen lines they begin to interpret what they see” (15). Students’ interpret the images and then start forming a conclusion about the relationship of the two pictures. In Mr. Wade’s discussion he asks students to break apart an essay and have the students fill in a chicken foot outline for the main idea, thesis, and categories. Mr. Wade says, “Show me you see its structure.” “Irene: Show you?” A student is obviously confused at what he means but then he just repeats himself, when he says, “Show the structure of the piece, the outline. You’re familiar with the chicken foot, right?” Mr. Wade then continues to talk at the...
Words: 489 - Pages: 2
...college her senior year to move to Baltimore to co-anchor the nightly news in Baltimore. Although reading the news did not play to Oprah’s strengths, the opportunity soon arose for her to host her own talk show. Her connection with the audience, her viewers, and her guests on this show is what led to her success in this medium and paved the way for her future successes as she hosted one of the most popular talk shows of all time “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” Oprah success as an entrepreneur has been as a business owner, talk show host, philanthropist, actor, producer, director, and author. The greatest economic decision Oprah has made in her career was when she formed Harpo Productions, purchased a production studio in Chicago, and began producing her own talk show (Entrepreneur 2008). This decision gave her complete control over the resources she would need to build a successful business and an even more successful show. It also allowed her to employ hundreds of staff members from all over the world which gave a much needed boost to the Chicago economy. Harpo studios was also the home to other shows in which Oprah was the producer which gave her an opportunity to see an even greater return on her investment of the production company. Oprah not only gave jobs to people to work on her talk show but she also employed staff members to work various other projects which were focused in places such as Hollywood and Africa. According to 2006 PBS story, Oprah reportedly gave $350 million of...
Words: 608 - Pages: 3
...see me get hurt so he tried to protect me. He is also the only person I could confide in. I could talk to him about anything because he never judged or scolded me. He always had some great advice ready for me. He had this trait where he could always turn a dull party around. He was such a character. He knew how to be serious at times and he also knew when to joke around. As a friend he was also very dear. He always found time to be with his friends. He was a very loyal and kind friend. He was also very polite; he was the kind of man who always opened doors for ladies. He could be very immature at times but that’s just because he was still a child inside a young man’s body. I remember our last talk together; we talked about death and how our funerals should be. You didn’t like to see people cry, especially your family. We only talked about this as a joke and now I realize why you had mentioned it. He told me he wanted to have rides at his funeral or anything that would make people happy. I jokingly answered him that I could easily arrange for it but I’d have to face his mother’s wrath. He just answered, “that ’it will no longer be his problem”. That talk happened just last month. I know he left lots of things undone and others that he never had a chance to start. But let us promise that we will continue what he has started and hopefully fulfill his dreams. This is just my small way of saying thank you for everything he did for all of us. Let’s just be thankful for all the...
Words: 395 - Pages: 2
... the business started as a small operation, but as it expanded it led to changes in the way it was run. The family feeling and closeness that was once strong was less noticeable. The new employees did not even know Bruce and Carol, the owners, and the old employees did not like receiving orders from corporate management. There was no longer any face-to-face communication. As a result, there was less give-and-take of ideas, and the communication channels were closed. To make business more productive Bruce and Carol should bring back face-to-face communication, so that the employees will feel that the owners care about their ideas, and their opinions. When the family feeling was strong, it was only one small store. Carol ran the shop up front, and Bruce ran the bakery and ordered supplies. Carol hired two clerks, Marina and Kim, and Bruce hired an assistant, Maurice. They worked closely, and talked face-to-face about things that needed to be done. They also worked intimately with the customers. Everyone was very close, and things ran smoothly because they talked to each other. Bruce and Carol asked Maurice, Marina and Kim about their ideas and their plans on what could make the store run better, and make business more productive. They all told each other what they thought, and shared their opinions with each other. If Marina, Kim, or Maurice had an idea about a new product or a new way to decorate the store, all they had to do was talk to Bruce or Carol about it face-to-face...
Words: 1066 - Pages: 5
...talking about, you can say it in the plainest words and you'll be perceived as having a good style. With speaking it's the opposite: having good ideas is an alarmingly small component of being a good speaker. I first noticed this at a conference several years ago. There was another speaker who was much better than me. He had all of us roaring with laughter. I seemed awkward and halting by comparison. Afterward I put my talk online like I usually do. As I was doing it I tried to imagine what a transcript of the other guy's talk would be like, and it was only then I realized he hadn't said very much. Maybe this would have been obvious to someone who knew more about speaking, but it was a revelation to me how much less ideas mattered in speaking than writing. [1] A few years later I heard a talk by someone who was not merely a better speaker than me, but a famous speaker. Boy was he good. So I decided I'd pay close attention to what he said, to learn how he did it. After about ten sentences I found myself thinking "I don't want to be a good speaker." Being a really good speaker is not merely orthogonal to having good ideas, but in many ways pushes you in the opposite direction. For example, when I give a talk I usually write it out beforehand. I know that's a mistake; I know delivering a prewritten talk makes it harder to engage with an audience. The way to get the attention of an audience is to give them your full attention, and when you're delivering a...
Words: 981 - Pages: 4
...because she didn’t have one. I didn’t really understand it at the time because, well, I was only 7 years old. All that mattered to me was that I had a new grandma, a new friend. The first time I meet Velma was at her apartment in down town Sarnia. The door squeaked and the smell of lilacs filled the entrance way. The apartment was small, but was very nice.. She smiled sweetly and introduced herself. I was very shy at first, but there was something about her, something told me we where going to be best friends. I visited her almost every week, and everyday we would do something different. Shopping was usually on Tuesdays, Lunch and a movie was on Wednesdays, and on Fridays we went bowling. We became a lot closer over time. She always had a reassurance about her that made me feel comfortable, I didn’t have to pretend. A few months later my mother came to me with some upsetting news. Velma was in the hospital. She wouldn’t tell me why but I could tell that it was bad by the worried look on her face. We visited her soon after, and I had no idea what to expect. We walked in with the nurse and I saw her laying there in the bed, motionless. She tried to talk but her voice shook and trembled. I was scared; I knew she was too. I visited her less often now because I was busy with school and sports. When I did, she looked happier and healthier. I was surprised how far she had come. She smiled and we talked more about what ever we could think of. I think the presence of each other comforted...
Words: 647 - Pages: 3
... Education Standards Agency FAQs Frequently Asked Questions GOU Government of Uganda MOES Ministry of Education and Sports MOFPED Ministry of Finance, Planning and Economic Development NCDC National Curriculum Development Centre NCHE National Council for Higher Education NSC National Speech Championships PSFU Private Sector foundation of Uganda PCA Public and Corporate Affairs Division TPD Taxpayers’ Day UIA Uganda Investment Authority UMA Uganda Manufacturers Association UNCCI Uganda National Chamber of Commerce and Industry UNEB Uganda National Examinations Board URA Uganda Revenue Authority USSIA Uganda Small Scale Industrialists Association Tax Education Package Public & Corporate Affairs, Uganda Revenue Authority 3 Content Page Acronyms and Defines Tems……………………………………… 3 Word from the Commissioner General... ………………………… 5 Background…………… …………………………………………… 7 What we Set Out to Achieve Start and Promotion of URA Call Center Services…… ………… 11 Production of Simplified Tax Information……………………… 12 Translation of Tax information……………………… …………… 13 Availability of the Web portal and Intranet……………………… 13 Increased Taxpayer and stakeholder interaction……………… 14...
Words: 5459 - Pages: 22
...problems or offering solutions. This can have an avalanche effect that is difficult to stop. Possible Solutions: Don't move on to another person's problem until the first one has been addressed. This will stop the "snowball" effect of other people jumping in with the same complaints. It also reinforces the idea that a support group is a place to get ideas on how to deal with problems rather than just a place to talk and not do anything about those problems. Remind group that support groups should be positive, and members should mention the progress that they are making. Sometimes people don't want to take time away from someone who is having difficulty, but talking about progress is a very important part of a support group. They can offer others suggestions and strategies for improvement. Put something in the ground rules that each member must state something positive that happened to them since the last meeting. If many people in the group have the same specific problem, ask them to think about possible ways to deal with the problem in between meetings, and talk about their thoughts at the next group meeting. This is a good way to get people to take positive action. Make sure that the agenda sets aside time for members to discuss what they've thought about or learned in between meetings. Ask members which of these ideas they plan to use. This puts the emphasis on making progress and...
Words: 2294 - Pages: 10
...The first text is about a young woman talking about her parents’ background, how they met and briefly what sort of personalities they hold. In text B, an extract from a novel called Coastlines, is about Madeleine remembering her mother, but mostly her “incapable of small talk” father, as she recalls the boat that was so dear to him. The last text is an autobiography by Laurie Lee as he remembers his “weeping” mother, who “did not play well”, as she performed on the piano. Text A and B both talk about both parents but with Text C its just of his mother. What does this show about their feelings towards their parents or parent? Is it loving or warmth; is it hatred or neglect? With these three texts similar feelings are conveyed, however because of the type of texts they are, different tones and attitudes are portrayed. In text A, since it is a speech, certain features are prominent and they convey a relaxed feeling that she has for both her parents. Since she is from a “mixed race background” she heavily talks about where her parents are “originally” from. Colloquial language such as “ma” instead of “my” and the elongation of “and” shows that she is comfortable when talking about her parents as she feels to talk like herself. The fact that the pronunciation of the word “ma” and “bout” are frequently used within the text also shows that the young woman feels relaxed and unchanged when she discusses the subject of her parents. What this...
Words: 1071 - Pages: 5
