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Smokers

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Submitted By ppark1991
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A few weeks ago The Orlando Sentinel printed an article in which several doctors stated that smoking was an addiction as strong as heroin. As a “recovering” smoker myself, I could only respond with a loud “NO KIDDING!” One thing the doctors did not seem to realize, however, was that quitting is easier for some people than for others. In my experience I have found three types of cigarette addicts: the Ultra Light Addict, the Regular Addict, and the Unfiltered Addict.
My Aunt Jessie is a prime example of the first type of addict, The Ultra Light. (Her brand of choice is Virginia Slims Ultra Light.) People who visit Aunt Jessie’s house might never know she smokes. The only clues are the clean, shiny crystal ashtrays carefully placed around her home. Even though it’s her home, she always asks permission of a visitor before lighting up. When she does smoke around a nonsmoker, she holds the cigarette well away from her companion and blows the smoke behind her. Aunt Jessie smokes like Barbara Stanwyck used to smoke in the old movies: elegantly, daintily, thoughtfully. Sometimes I wonder, though. I mean, I just know that as soon as her visitor leaves, Aunt Jessie hauls out a huge plastic ashtray from beneath the kitchen sink and starts puffing away, one cigarette after the other, stopping only to spray Lysol to disguise the smell.
The second type of addict- the Regular- doesn’t bother with Lysol (although he will lower a car window if asked). I know this because my father is a Regular. His brand of choice is Pall Mall, but he’ll do with Winston’s if necessary-just so long as they’re not menthol. Dad is not a heavy smoker. He’s just kind of medium, a pack to a pack and a half a day. He’s perfectly willing to work in his now smoke-free office as long as he can zip down to the break room every two hours. The only time Dad’s smoking gets out of hand is when he’s under a lot of

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