When asked by a parent as to how they can promote positive self-regulation skills within their children, I would tell them that how they respond to a child’s emotional distress is crucial. Parent who respond warmly or calmly to a child in duress and talk to them about their emotions actually promotes self-regulation (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). I know that sometimes it is hard to accomplish as a parent to respond calmly to every situation, just keep in mind that you are helping your child with positively developing self-regulation skills when you help them work through their current emotional state.
“Effortful control is the ability to hold back a dominant response in order to execute a nondominant response” (Posner & Rothbart, 2000). A tip that I can share with parents on how to promote effortful control is to show the children examples of situations where they can practice the skill. For example, my toddler recently has been exhibiting interrupting behavior. What I mean by that is that she wants to interrupt me when I am having a conversation with someone without waiting for me to finish my conversation. What I have been doing is telling her to be patient while I am talking and not allowing her to interrupt before I am finished speaking.
Above all else, I would explain to parents that they need to promote and model good behavior in front of their children in order for their children to learn socially acceptable behavior. As they say, practice makes perfect.
References:
Bojczyk, K. E., Shriner, B. M., & Shriner, M. (2012). Supporting children’s socialization: A developmental approach. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education,