...Love Styles Ginnina Pleze American Public University System Instructor John Hetherington COMM285 February 14, 2015 Love Styles Using sociologist John Alan Lee's love styles (refer to pages 261- 263 of Intimate Relationships, and pay special attention to Table 8.7 'Styles of Loving' found on the top of page 262) from chapter eight of "Intimate Relationships", what is the predominant love style for most of the characters presented in the book, Confusing Love with Obsession. Using John Alan Lee’s love styles as a reference it seems that the characters from, “Confusing Love with Obsession” mainly fall in the mania category when deciding what their style of loving is. The fourth style mania defines that persons love style as possessive, demanding and full of vivid fantasy obsession (Miller 2011). In the book “Confusing Love with Obsession” the people came across as controlling it’s an issue that is seen a lot in relationships without a valid reason for it. The problem that is discovered is that a lot of people confuse love with obsession. Although it is not realized it’s not surprising that people tend to have a mania love style. The person in the relationship that has the mania love style has to control the relationship to ensure that they can control the other which to them means that they control the love. The attempt to control someone in order to control the love that they have for you will at the end of the day cause a rift in any relationship...
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...Styles of Love Love is not always what it may seem to be. There are so many ways to be in love or think you’re in love someone. It is not easy to understand the meaning of love for someone as a friend or as a lover. Researchers have come up with many different names for forms of love. There are many scenarios for each form of love. There is a girl name Erin who met a great guy named Joe, in high school. It started off just saying “hi” to each other to sitting next to each other on the bus. After a couple months Joe asked her to be his girlfriend. The first couple of years went well at least what Joe thought. Erin was into talking to other guys and seeing if there were other options while being in the relationship with Joen. She began to break up with Joe and start seeing another guy to see how bad Joe would want her back. As soon as Joe knew she was seeing someone else, he would ask to be with her again. The games continued on for almost 7 years. Joe finally began to realize the relationship was just a bunch of games. He wanted to take a break from this and move on. This relationship began on a great start but then ended on a bad note. Joe learned that Erin like to see “if the grass was greener on the other side” all while being with him. He saw the games she played with him and realized love was not to be this way. With the lesson learned he began to reevaluate life and see what true love is to be without...
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...What is Your Love Attitudes towards Romantic Relationship? Social relationship especially love relationships are core of human life. Universally, love is reflected as one of the most important feelings that are experienced by most people and being in love leaves memorable social and psychological mark. Love can be defined in numerous ways, however according to Berscheid and Walster (1974) love is ‘an emotional and passionate experience between two individual’. Although conceptions of love vary widely, the most prominent and influential approach to psychology is Lee’s (1973) love styles and Lee (1988) quoted ‘it is the relationship that is styled, not the lover’ (p. 49). These love styles consist of Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania and Agape, divided into primary and secondary styles (Lee, 1973). According to Lee (1973), ‘Eros’ represents powerful physical and emotional attraction to the partner and is also know as ‘love at first sight’; ‘Ludus’ is a playful, distant, noncommittal style that treats love as a game; ‘Storge’ values the long-lasting friendship aspects of love. Storgic lovers were often friends initially however becomes affectionate and settle down together. The secondary styles are the compound of two of each primary styles known as ‘Pragma’ is a practical attitude towards love. This love style is not emphasized on intense physical attraction, but is a conscious search for partner that fits a set of rational criteria. Pragmatic lover is a combination of Ludus...
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...Course Date Love Types Introduction Love styles are modes of operation that show the various ways in which people love. John Lee captured these types of love in 1973 in his classic book titled ‘Colors of Love’. There are six types of love, they include; Eros, Ludus, Storge, Mania, Pragma and Agape. This subject is very interesting and is often found in many films. When Harry met Sally and War of the Roses are two classic films that borrow heavily from love styles. When Harry met Sally is a 1989 film in relation to the creation of a relationship; it is a romantic comedy. The two main characters are friends for a period of twelve years before becoming lovers. The film raises the question, “can women and men ever just be friends?”. It also addresses many household concepts that are encountered in a relationship, this include; “transitional person” and” high maintenance” girlfriend. It entails storge, where the individuals involved first become friends before they become partners. War of the Roses is also a 1989 film on breaking down of a relationship. It is about a wealthy couple who seem to be in a perfect relationship until things begin to fall apart and a gruesome divorce battle takes the center stage. The relationship between the Roses also starts of as friendship. The divorce becomes outrageous and it gets out of hand as the couple goes as far as trying to kill each other. Outline of Love Types Eros is a passionate, romantic, physical, sensual and emotional love. In such a...
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...Styles of Love | Marcia Brandon | Professor Iwamoto PSY265 June 7, 2013 | Styles of Love Possessive, excited love (mania) can start out as something interesting and fun at first. Mark and Sarah meet at a bar and get a long great. They decide to exchange phone numbers and plan a date for next week. The following week they hook-up and go out to dinner and the movies, Mark is feeling really into Sarah, but after this date Sarah isn’t feeling the same kind of connection as she did at the bar. At this point Sarah decides she only wants to be friends with Mark. However, Mark feels differently and start sending her flowers, visiting her unannounced at work. At this point Mark can’t stop thinking about Sarah, he is losing sleep, having a hard time with eating, and he has become obsessed with Sarah. This level of mania is very unhealthy and is starting to scare Sarah. The unwanted attention, starts to feeling as though he has become overwhelmed with her. At this point things have become very bad for Mark, and can lead to bad things for Sarah as well. Selfless love (agape) is a love that is very giving. The person becomes willing to give-up just about anything to make the other person happy. They value the love of his or her partner more than him or herself. This form of love can become easily abusive. The person receiving this love may take advantage of the loving person, taking him or her for granted. John and Becky have been together for a few months now....
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...attachment and, as we will see, love are made.” (Bolt, 2004, p. 26). I have found that few things in life are absolute, but the previous statement is one of those few. From the very beginning of our lives, our need for human contact and closeness is glaringly obvious. Our attachment styles, be they secure, avoidant, or anxious, are formed while we are just infants. These attachment styles tie directly into how we, as adults, execute the different dimensions of love (passion, intimacy, and commitment), in our various individual love relationships. Individual Attachment Styles “Both nature—the infant’s inherent need to bond and belong—and nurture—parental responsiveness—contribute to attachment.” (Bolt, 2004, p. 25). Recent research has been shown to indicate that temperament has a base in genetics and that it is not all left to nurturing, as was previously believed. Personally, I am glad that science has begun to discover what I always have suspected to be true! A parent can be warm and responsive, yet their child could still grow to have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, however the opposite is true as well. I have personal experience with this, which is why I am certain of its validity. Secure Attachment Style Our text describes the secure attachment style in the following manner: “Infants who experience warm, responsive parents show secure attachment.” (Bolt, 2004, p. 23). This is the most prevalent of the three attachment styles, with roughly sixty percent...
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...Attachment Style and Relationships Kathy Schwab PSY/220 July 29, 2012 Edward Billingslea Attachment Style and Relationships Part 1 Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is based on three dimensions: passion, intimacy, and commitment. In Sternberg’s model passion, intimacy, and commitment each represent one side of a triangle describing the love shared by two people. Passion means strong emotion, excitement, and physiological arousal, often tied to sexual desire and attraction. Intimacy refers to mutual understanding, warm affection, and mutual concern for the other person’s welfare. Commitment is the conscious decision to stay in a relationship for the long haul. By putting together different combinations of the three ingredients, Sternberg’s model describes several varieties of love and the specific components of romantic and companionate love (Baumgardner and Crothers, 2009). Romantic love is a combination of intimacy and passion. It is more than infatuation, its liking with the added excitement of physical attraction but without commitment. Companionate love is slow-developing love built on high intimacy and a strong commitment. When youthful passions fade in a marriage, companionate love, based on deep, affectionate friendship provides a solid foundation for a lasting and successful relationship. Fatuous love combines high passion and commitment with the absence of intimacy. The commitment is based on passion and sustained solely by passion....
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...Attachment Style and Relationships Anna Sylvester PSY/220 Darren Iwamoto In one’s life we all develop an attachment style based on the way we were raised as a child. There are three main attachment styles called, Secure Attachment, Avoid-ant Attachment and Anxious Attachment styles. Individuals with secure attachment tend to be more open to people. They feel more comfortable depending on others and worries less about whether they are accepted by others. Those with avoid-ant attachments are less invested in their relationships, they fear commitment and feels uncomfortable when others try to get too close to them. Then there is the anxious attachment, individuals with an anxious attachment are okay with others getting close to them, but often feel like others are reluctant to get as close to them as they would like. Anxious attachment individuals often fear that their spouse may leave them or that they may not love them. Their obsession to get really close to their partner can sometimes scare their partner away. These attachment styles shape your adult relationships and better understanding of them, can help each individual in their love relationship. Secure Attachment, a secure attachment is a bond that is developed when a child is raised with a very nurturing parents or caregivers. These parents or caregivers...
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...media personalities. Popular media approves of the six stages of relationships, which are: contact, involvement, intimacy, repair, deterioration and dissolution. It also approves the types of relationship: friendship, love, family, work, and online-only relationships. 2. How do the media “define” friendship, love, and family? 143 Media identifies friendship in three types: reciprocity, receptivity and association. Friendship of reciprocity focuses more on equality, each person shares equally in giving and receiving in a relationship. Friendship of receptivity is the opposite. It is an inequality in giving and receiving. It’s a good inequality because each person in the relationship gains something. Friendship of association is described as a friendly relationship than a true friendship because there is great trust in the relationship. Love is defined in six love styles. Eros love is physical attractiveness that it often feels unfulfilled. Ludic love sees love as a game and fun. It is not taken seriously. Storge love is peaceful love. They share interests and activities. It is difficult to tell from friendship. Pragma love is when needs and desires are satisfied in a relationship. Family and background is important but does not rely on feelings. Manic love is a lot of attention and affection. When there is no attention, it causes bad reactions....
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...Assignment: Attachment Style and Relationships Week 2 | Write a 350- to 700-word response summarizing the three dimensions of love and how they interrelate to identify a specific type of love relationship. Read Chapter 11.Write a 700- to 1,050-word response explaining how you believe an individual’s attachment style can affect the types of love relationships he or she has. Respond thoroughly and specifically. Remember the importance of grammar, spelling, punctuation and style. Note that you MUST use the text to support your responses, demonstrating that you have learned the material through the required reading assignments. | There are three different love and attachment styles that define what kind of relationship an individual has with another human being or beings. The three that are usually used to describe a person’s attachment to another are passionate, intimacy and companionate types of love. There are many differences in these types of relationships which will be described here. Passionate or love that attracts has characteristics that are more external than internal. This means that their love is based more on sexual attraction and sex than it does on love. This type of love is also compared to the term “Romantic Love.” When asked to describe what this meant by people, the leading attribute of this type of love was stated as being “sexual in nature, not happiness, loyalty, or sharing”, according to Pamela Ragan and her colleagues, (1998) In the...
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... Attachment Style and Relationships | PSY/220: Part 1 & Part 2 | | Lyndsey McMahon | 11/4/2012 | | Part 1 Sternberg's Theory of Love describes three components that make up different combinations or levels of love that can be shared between two people. The three components are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy refers to understanding and concern for the other person. This component deals with warm affection and getting to know each other on a deeper level. Passion refers to stronger feelings of emotion, excitement and physiological attraction. This component usually deals with sexual attraction and desire. Commitment refers to the conscious decision to stay in the relationship through the ups and downs. This component deals with putting in an effort to maintain the relationship and carries a sense of devotion for that relationship. By combining any of these components, you get different varieties of love. When combining intimacy and passion you get what Sternberg calls romantic love. For example, a summer love shows high levels of intimacy and passion, but no commitment to extend the relationship further. When combining intimacy and commitment in the model you gets what's called companionate love. An example of this love would be a marriage after...
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...What is love, some may ask. In 1976, a researcher, John A. Lee conducted a series of intensive experiments with different people just to answer that question. He found that people have different definitions for love. He concluded 6 different love styles, which are Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Manic, and Agape. It is very important that we are all aware of these different love styles so then we can learn to understand people better and have an idea of the kind of person they are. Once we somewhat understand people, it is a bit easier for us to communicate with them and sympathize with them in a way that they comprehend. Even if you have never heard these terms before, I am more than positive that you have either experienced one of these, know someone who experienced them, or seen a movie that portrays one of them. The first love style that John A. Lee mentions is Eros. According to Lee, Eros is the Greek word for “erotic” or “passionate”. Eros lovers choose their lovers by chemistry or intuition and base their love on aesthetic enjoyment. They are hopeless romantics, easily hurt by their partner’s criticism, and separation from their partner’s causes agony and despair. I believe the first 6 months of my relationship with my boyfriend was an Eros type of love. We were with each other at all times and we used any spare time we had to talk about very intimate topics or just to kiss. We couldn’t stand being away from each other for too long and would miss each other right away. It...
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...Attachment Style and Relationships Laurie Henry Psy/220 November 10, 2013 Charlene Sears-Tolbert Attachment Style and Relationships Part 1 According to the Robert Sternberg triangular theory of love the three dimensions passion, intimacy and commitment all play essential roles in forming relationships. Passion mean strong emotion, excitement, and physiological arousal, often tied to sexual desire and attraction Baumgardner & Crothers (2009). These emotions can become overpowering and create feelings of love, joy anger and hatred. Intimacy involves closeness it is a special friendship, having a feeling of connection and trust. Commitment is the conscious decision to stay in a relationship for the long haul. Committed relationships are more serious because it involves a shared decision to invest in the relationship. Relationships are a major complexity in our lives. Forming these relationships and maintaining them have a great deal to do with our early attachment styles. Depending on how secure or insecure an individual is can determine their ability to give or accept certain components that build relationships. Early life disruptions to our process of attachment with parents will have major consequences for how we as adults will then deal with attachment as adults. This may show up as diminished capacity to modulate arousal of stimulus from internal or external sources, impairment in developing healthy relationships, and the ability to cope with stress (Siegel...
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...interpret the world, mainly love and sexuality. These two aforementioned features are intricately entwined and have heavily influenced much of extant research which attempts to explain the impact of love and sexuality on a sociobiological level and on the formation of gender expectations. This essay aims to investigate and explain how attitudes with respect to relationships are affected by gender. In order to achieve this, a compilation of studies that assess the correlation between interpersonal relationships and gender will be considered. Finally, the essay will discuss possible ideas for future development in this field. Although a fine line exists between love, lust and attraction, these three components are often misinterpreted for one another. The need to belong is an evolutionary human instinct, and one that characterises an individual’s chances of survival. It is essential to acknowledge the common attributes of the three preceding elements which determine relationship statuses, so a clearer understanding can be achieved when considering the dissimilarities in attitudes between the genders. Conventionally, love has always been thought to be undemanding and trivial whereas attraction, or borderline infatuation, is affiliated with connections on a deeper energetic level. Lust can be summed up as the craving for sex, where the individuals engage in such activity without being exclusive to each other. Trailing an individual’s childhood attachment styles has helped determine...
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...Parenting Styles Parents are our life givers and truly set their children’s lives toward the success. Parents are a strong foundation of life for their child. Parents love their children and perform their duty honestly towards their children. There are various styles of parenting that parents use to socialize their children. Each parenting style has a strength and weakness. It depends on the parents how they want to raise their children. Parenting styles play a vital role for children’s better development and life. There are two main kinds of parenting styles parents use to raise their children such as, a cooperative and a dominating. However, there are several differences and similarities between a cooperative parenting style and a dominating parenting style. The first difference is in how parents show love and warmth. Cooperative parents show love, feelings and emotions toward their children. They are more friendly, encouraging and supportive. They communicate to children with fun styles to make their relationship much stronger and closer. For example, cooperative parents play with their children and ask about their school, friends and activities in each day. On the other hand, dominating parents don’t show much love and warmth even though they do love their children. It can produce negative qualities in children minds. Sometimes children may be afraid to communicate with dominating parents. It may create distance between parents and children. For example, dominating...
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