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Synthesis

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Module 5: Final Synthesis “Fieldwork” Paper

Upon reading Arloski’s text and reviewing his tools for exploration, I have designed a Life’s Basic tool for exploring wellness that has a personal meaning to close family as well as friends and myself. Arloski’s tools for exploration number six, “The Welcome Packet”, inspired me. I wanted to create a tool that was not only powerful, thought-provoking, and intriguing, but a tool that held meaning to an individual that allowed them to find purpose and what one would need to do in order to feel accomplished in life. In the process of completing this tool, I began with my boyfriend’s life experience. Since he has been incarcerated and recently released from prison, I thought he would be a good candidate to help get some ideas with the design of my tool. During our initial conversation, I asked him what concepts he thought was essential to life’s basics. He described three things. The first concept was to understand how to dream and uncover what one really wants. The second was to understand how to get rid of self-sabotaging mental chatter and negative beliefs. Last, but not least, knowing how to make and keep commitments to oneself around ones body, career, money, and relationships. I found these concepts to be very intriguing and was really surprised at the response I received. While in prison, he explained that he had a lot of time to dream about what he really wanted out of life and what things he needed to do once he got out in order to achieve those goals. He emphasized that sometimes people need to stop what they are doing and really sit down and analyze their life at the current moment and ask themselves if they are where they really want to be and if they have achieved their goals or accomplished anything in life.
The second concept he mentioned comes from him believing at one point in time that he was his own worst enemy. He got this tattoo printed on the side of his right eye in a crescent moon shape. He explained that he realized that his actions had led him to incarceration and hanging with the wrong crowd. He described that it did not take very long for him to realize who was really his friend and who was going be there to support him mentally, spiritually, and emotionally throughout his sentence.
The third concept he described to have came up with by realizing that in order to be successful in this world, one must make and keep commitments to oneself. Everyday that he was incarcerated he did not let the misery and woe stop him from staying committed to health and exercise. He worked out 2 hours a day everyday for 5 ½ years. Since he had a lot of downtime, he made short-term and long-term goals to stick to once he was released. The second person I talked to in order to develop my tool was my best friend since high school. She started off by explaining that evolving herself was one of her main priorities in life, as she grew older. She discussed with me that throughout college she learned how to tell the truth about certain things in order for her to be proud and confident. She also explained to me that through her various work internships, she learned how to slightly shift her personality and still be herself. I thought these were all very good concepts but the main one that stuck out that she informed me of was being able to identify and understand the life lessons that keep repeating themselves in her life. Growing up, she described that she had a hard time opening up to people and expressing her emotions. She often kept them bottled up inside of her and did things to release her feelings of anger and frustration that she was not too proud of. During this process, she realized that her college life experiences have slowly but surely prepared her for her future by teaching her valuable life lessons of how to reach out and connect with others who are suffering in some way shape or form. She is now a health prevention specialist in Chicago, Illinois providing services to individuals who are learning how to practice safe sex, abstinence, utilizing resources for health issues and more. The third person I spoke with was my cousin. I was interested to see what my family viewed as what concepts were needed to understand life’s basics. My cousin was very open and honest when I asked her what her views were. She wanted me to first understand that she was in the process of going through a divorce and that she came to the conclusion in order for her to progress and move forward, she was going to have to have difficult conversations that will get her what she wants. My cousin is very optimistic and even though she was experiencing personal problems at home, she still strived to see what improvements could be made in order for her to herself as a leader and creator in the world. Understanding how to design one’s life mission became apart of her everyday life. Upon engaging with the three people in the process of completing my tool, I noticed that active listening was very essential to the development of my tool. I did not judge these individuals and I kept an open mind. The things they had to say were very interesting and deep in their meaning. I think that each individual provided some valuable insight in helping me to develop my tools for others to get a keen sense of life’s basics. I enjoyed how each individual was very creative and informative in their responses to my questions. That really helped me get a sense of direction from where they were coming from and why they felt a certain way. I designed a life’s basic tool because I wanted people to be able to believe in change and be able to take their life to a new level and help them get the results that one truly desires. Whether one wants to build a fulfilling career or business, cultivate passionate love, achieve optimal health, create financial abundance, or enjoy rewarding relationships, I have wanted to allow individuals the opportunity a new way of thinking and reaching one’s dreams.
My tool is designed to quickly set one’s life on a new and exciting adventure. One will discover what they need to change in their life and how to make the change. My goal is for one to leave with new perspectives, clear decisions, and have built a personal plan for making their decisions a reality now. During this assignment, I found out that consequently, when an individual does not easily or naturally find answers to issues or solutions to problems, it is useless to search in the same way, place or direction as the individual has already done. It is useful however, to help the individual “reconfigure” or reboot his or her way of defining the issue, of considering the problem, or of visioning an ambition. A coaching approach is to question the individual’s frame of reference. As a result, coaching questions that are considered to be powerful are precisely those that jolt individuals into reconsidering the way they define a problem, perceive an issue or envision an ambition.
Throughout this semester, I learned that coaching questions are not presented to elicit more information from the individual but rather to provoke the individual to think, feel or react differently about the issue at hand. A coach does not focus on the technical details of an individual’s specific problem at the risk of also becoming a prisoner to the same limiting frame of reference. Instead, the coach explores the general framework that underlies the way the client considers an issue and the way the client searches for options.
In fact, this reconfiguration of an individual’s frame of reference or this change of perspective on an individuals goals and issues will permit them to suddenly discover totally new approaches to define and solve problems, and to achieve ambitions. This coaching frame of reference is sometimes relatively difficult to implement. Individuals often seek to over-detail their perception of their problems and environments in order to explain why they are stuck.
Most individuals do not realize that their perception is the main limiting factor at the origin of their search for a coach. These individuals often paradoxically feel or think that their coach must very logically know all the informational details that define their constraining frame of reference. This can sometimes complicate the process. The strengths of my tool were to bring out thoughts and dreams that one has in order to understand life’s basics from a personal standpoint. Each individual that I interviewed came from a different background and dealt with their issues differently. It was interesting to see the effect that the concepts had on each individuals lives and when and how they came to that realization. The overall experience of this assignment was definitely a good one. Each individual I engaged with was able to see positive results. They all developed personal integrity so that they will continue to do what they say they will do, they shaped their personality, they tool down negative internal dialog and replaced it with constructive thinking, the became skilled in difficult conversations and brought peace and resolutions to areas of distress, and freed themselves from past mistakes and incidents that once haunted them. Some even led others with a new level of vision, poise, and power. Not only did the individuals I engaged with reap benefits of this assignment, but I did as well. Talking amongst these individuals I was able to solve some of the issues that I was having in my relationship. I learned how to manifest the results I wanted and hold a stronger sense of self-confidence. I feel as though my tool could be used in a professional workplace, consisting of small team exercises, group and individual coaching. Employees could share their personal experiences of creating their dreams, challenging their mental voices, and ultimately building the power to take control of their lives.

Name: ______________________ Date: ____________________

Life’s Basics Tool Assessment 1. What do you NOT want me to ask you? 2. Imagine for a moment that your issue is resolved. How did you get there? 3. So, what do you think you’re SECRETLY afraid of, that’s getting in the way of ________ ? 4. a. What are you ready to change?
b. What are you NOT ready to change YET? 5. What haven’t you admitted out loud yet? 6. a. What’s the problem in a nutshell?
b. Now, what’s the problem in one sentence?
c. And what’s the problem in one word? 7. What’s the EASY way forward here? 8. How important is this to you REALLY? 9. What would YOU suggest I ask you to move this forward?

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