...Dedicated to St John the Blasphemist Saint of Freakin‟ Awesome Holy Texts Cover Art by MonkeysInACan aka Captain Chris Taylor, Tigger_the_Wing, and Rev. Rowan Redbeard Table of Contents Proclamations of the Councils of Olive Garden.........................................................................1 Second Announcement Regarding Canonical Belief......................................................................2 Third Announcement Regarding Canonical Belief.........................................................................3 The Old Pastament........................................................................................................................4 The Book of Midgets/Midgits.........................................................................................................5 The Creation of Mankind..............................................................................................................14 A Reading From the Book of Fusilli..............................................................................................15 The Book of Penelope....................................................................................................................17 The Book of Linguini.....................................................................................................................20 The Torahtellini Part 2............................................................................................................
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...100 Great Marketing Ideas from leading companies around the world Jim Blythe 100 GREAT MARKETING IDEAS FROM LEADING COMPANIES AROUND THE WORLD Jim Blythe Copyright © 2009 Jim Blythe First published in 2009 by Marshall Cavendish Editions An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196 Other Marshall Cavendish offices: Marshall Cavendish Ltd. 5th Floor, 32–38 Saffron Hill, London RC1N 8FH, UK • Marshall Cavendish Corporation. 99 White Plains Road, Tarrytown NY 10591-9001, USA • Marshall Cavendish International (Thailand) Co Ltd. 253 Asoke, 12th Flr, Sukhumvit 21 Road, Klongtoey Nua, Wattana, Bangkok 10110, Thailand • Marshall Cavendish (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd, Times Subang, Lot 46, Subang Hi-Tech Industrial Park, Batu Tiga, 40000 Shah Alam, Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia Marshall Cavendish is a trademark of Times Publishing Limited The right of Jim Blythe to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Requests for permission should be addressed to the publisher. The author and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this book and disclaim liability arising directly and indirectly from...
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...100 Great Marketing Ideas from leading companies around the world Jim Blythe 100 GREAT MARKETING IDEAS FROM LEADING COMPANIES AROUND THE WORLD Jim Blythe Copyright © 2009 Jim Blythe First published in 2009 by Marshall Cavendish Editions An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196 Other Marshall Cavendish offices: Marshall Cavendish Ltd. 5th Floor, 32–38 Saffron Hill, London RC1N 8FH, UK • Marshall Cavendish Corporation. 99 White Plains Road, Tarrytown NY 10591-9001, USA • Marshall Cavendish International (Thailand) Co Ltd. 253 Asoke, 12th Flr, Sukhumvit 21 Road, Klongtoey Nua, Wattana, Bangkok 10110, Thailand • Marshall Cavendish (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd, Times Subang, Lot 46, Subang Hi-Tech Industrial Park, Batu Tiga, 40000 Shah Alam, Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia Marshall Cavendish is a trademark of Times Publishing Limited The right of Jim Blythe to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Requests for permission should be addressed to the publisher. The author and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this book and disclaim liability arising directly and indirectly from...
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...100 Great Marketing Ideas from leading companies around the world Jim Blythe 100 GREAT MARKETING IDEAS FROM LEADING COMPANIES AROUND THE WORLD Jim Blythe Copyright © 2009 Jim Blythe First published in 2009 by Marshall Cavendish Editions An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196 Other Marshall Cavendish offices: Marshall Cavendish Ltd. 5th Floor, 32–38 Saffron Hill, London RC1N 8FH, UK • Marshall Cavendish Corporation. 99 White Plains Road, Tarrytown NY 10591-9001, USA • Marshall Cavendish International (Thailand) Co Ltd. 253 Asoke, 12th Flr, Sukhumvit 21 Road, Klongtoey Nua, Wattana, Bangkok 10110, Thailand • Marshall Cavendish (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd, Times Subang, Lot 46, Subang Hi-Tech Industrial Park, Batu Tiga, 40000 Shah Alam, Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia Marshall Cavendish is a trademark of Times Publishing Limited The right of Jim Blythe to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Requests for permission should be addressed to the publisher. The author and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this book and disclaim liability arising...
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...Acclaim for Yann Martel's Life of Pi "Life of Pi is not just a readable and engaging novel, it's a finely twisted length of yarn— yarn implying a far-fetched story you can't quite swallow whole, but can't dismiss outright. Life of Pi is in this tradition—a story of uncertain veracity, made credible by the art of the yarn-spinner. Like its noteworthy ancestors, among which I take to be Robinson Crusoe, Gulliver's Travels, the Ancient Mariner, Moby Dick and Pincher Martin, it's a tale of disaster at sea coupled with miraculous survival—a boys' adventure for grownups." —Margaret Atwood, The Sunday Times (London) "A fabulous romp through an imagination by turns ecstatic, cunning, despairing and resilient, this novel is an impressive achievement. . . . Martel displays the clever voice and tremendous storytelling skills of an emerging master." —Publisher's Weekly (starred review) "[Life of Pi] has a buoyant, exotic, insistence reminiscent of Edgar Allen Poe's most Gothic fiction. . . . Oddities abound and the storytelling is first-rate. Yann Martel has written a novel full of grisly reality, outlandish plot, inventive setting and thought-provoking questions about the value and purpose of fiction." —The Edmonton journal "Martel's ceaselessly clever writing . . . [and] artful, occasionally hilarious, internal dialogue . . . make a fine argument for the divinity of good art." —The Gazette "Astounding and beautiful. . . . The book is a pleasure not only for the subtleties of its philosophy...
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...Yann Martel: Life of Pi life of pi A NOVEL author's note This book was born as I was hungry. Let me explain. In the spring of 1996, my second book, a novel, came out in Canada. It didn't fare well. Reviewers were puzzled, or damned it with faint praise. Then readers ignored it. Despite my best efforts at playing the clown or the trapeze artist, the media circus made no difference. The book did not move. Books lined the shelves of bookstores like kids standing in a row to play baseball or soccer, and mine was the gangly, unathletic kid that no one wanted on their team. It vanished quickly and quietly. The fiasco did not affect me too much. I had already moved on to another story, a novel set in Portugal in 1939. Only I was feeling restless. And I had a little money. So I flew to Bombay. This is not so illogical if you realize three things: that a stint in India will beat the restlessness out of any living creature; that a little money can go a long way there; and that a novel set in Portugal in 1939 may have very little to do with Portugal in 1939. I had been to India before, in the north, for five months. On that first trip I had come to the subcontinent completely unprepared. Actually, I had a preparation of one word. When I told a friend who knew the country well of my travel plans, he said casually, "They speak a funny English in India. They like words like bamboozle." I remembered his words as my plane started its descent towards Delhi, so the word bamboozle ...
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...10000 quiz questions and answers www.cartiaz.ro 10000 general knowledge questions and answers 10000 general knowledge questions and answers www.cartiaz.ro No Questions Quiz 1 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 Carl and the Passions changed band name to what How many rings on the Olympic flag What colour is vermilion a shade of King Zog ruled which country What colour is Spock's blood Where in your body is your patella Where can you find London bridge today What spirit is mixed with ginger beer in a Moscow mule Who was the first man in space What would you do with a Yashmak Who betrayed Jesus to the Romans Which animal lays eggs On television what was Flipper Who's band was The Quarrymen Which was the most successful Grand National horse Who starred as the Six Million Dollar Man In the song Waltzing Matilda - What is a Jumbuck Who was Dan Dare's greatest enemy in the Eagle What is Dick Grayson better known as What was given on the fourth day of Christmas What was Skippy ( on TV ) What does a funambulist do What is the name of Dennis the Menace's dog What are bactrians and dromedaries Who played The Fugitive Who was the King of Swing Who was the first man to fly across the channel Who starred as Rocky Balboa In which war was the charge of the Light Brigade Who invented the television Who would use a mashie niblick In the song who killed Cock Robin What do deciduous...
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...Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, admits that she often finds herself in the kitchen reading soup-can labels—or anything—in order to prolong the moments before taking pen in hand. John C. Calhoun, vice president under Andrew Jackson, insisted he had to plow his fields before he could write, and Joseph Conrad, author of Lord Jim and other novels, is said to have cried on occasion from the sheer dread of sitting down to compose his stories. To spare you as much hand-wringing as possible, this chapter presents some practical suggestions on how to begin writing your short essay. Although all writers must find the methods that work best for them, you may find some of the following ideas helpful. But no matter how you actually begin putting words on paper, it is absolutely essential to maintain two basic ideas concerning your writing task. Before you write a single sentence, you should always remind yourself that 1. You have some valuable ideas to tell your reader, and 2. More than anything, you want to communicate those ideas to your reader. These reminders may seem obvious to you, but without a solid commitment to your own opinions as well as to your reader, your prose will be lifeless and boring. If you don’t care about your subject, you can’t very well expect anyone else to. Have confidence that your ideas are worthwhile and that your reader genuinely...
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...FREAKONOMICS A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything Revised and Expanded Edition Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner CONTENTS AN EXPLANATORY NOTE In which the origins of this book are clarified. vii PREFACE TO THE REVISED AND EXPANDED EDITION xi 1 INTRODUCTION: The Hidden Side of Everything In which the book’s central idea is set forth: namely, if morality represents how people would like the world to work, then economics shows how it actually does work. Why the conventional wisdom is so often wrong . . . How “experts”— from criminologists to real-estate agents to political scientists—bend the facts . . . Why knowing what to measure, and how to measure it, is the key to understanding modern life . . . What is “freakonomics,” anyway? 1. What Do Schoolteachers and Sumo Wrestlers Have in Common? 15 In which we explore the beauty of incentives, as well as their dark side—cheating. Contents Who cheats? Just about everyone . . . How cheaters cheat, and how to catch them . . . Stories from an Israeli day-care center . . . The sudden disappearance of seven million American children . . . Cheating schoolteachers in Chicago . . . Why cheating to lose is worse than cheating to win . . . Could sumo wrestling, the national sport of Japan, be corrupt? . . . What the Bagel Man saw: mankind may be more honest than we think. 2. How Is the Ku Klux Klan Like a Group of Real-Estate Agents? 49 In which it is argued that nothing is more powerful than information,...
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...Generated by ABC Amber LIT Convertera http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html Killing Dance(v2.1) Anita Blake - Vampire Hunter Book 6 Laurell K. Hamilton, 1997 Anita Blake, vampire hunter, is now herself a hunted woman. Who put the $500,000 price on her head--a man or a monster? It's not just her own skin she needs to save; the rivalry between her werewolf boyfriend, Richard, and Marcus, the other alpha werewolf in his pack, has come to full boil. And there's always Jean-Claude, the vampire who's been waiting for just the right moment to slip inside Anita's head and heart. 1 The most beautiful corpse I'd ever seen was sitting behind my desk. Jean-Claude's white shirt gleamed in the light from the desk lamp. A froth of lace spilled down the front, peeking from inside his black velvet jacket. I stood behind him, my back to the wall, arms crossed over my stomach, which put my right hand comfortably close to the Browning Hi-Power in its shoulder holster. I wasn't about to draw on Jean-Claude. It was the other vampire I was worried about. The desk lamp was the only light in the room. The vampire had requested the overheads be turned out. His name was Sabin, and he stood against the far wall, huddling in the dark. He was covered head to foot in a black, hooded cape. He looked like something out of an old Vincent Price movie. I'd never seen a real vampire dress like that. The last member of our happy little group was Dominic Dumare. He sat in one of the client chairs. He was...
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...Salman Rushdie Midnight's Children First published in 1981 Excerpts from the Koran come from the Penguin Classics edition, translated by N. J. Dawood, copyright (c) 1956, 1959,1966,1968,1974. for Zafar Rushdie who, contrary to all expectations, was born in the afternoon Contents Book One The perforated sheet Mercurochrome Hit-the-spittoon Under the carpet A public announcement Many-headed monsters Methwold Tick, tock Book Two The fisherman's pointing finger Snakes and ladders Accident in a washing-chest All-India radio Love in Bombay My tenth birthday At the Pioneer Cafe Alpha and Omega The Kolynos Kid Commander Sabarmati's baton Revelations Movements performed by pepperpots Drainage and the desert Jamila Singer How Saleem achieved purity Book Three The buddha In the Sundarbans Sam and the Tiger The shadow of the Mosque A wedding Midnight Abracadabra Book One The perforated sheet I was born in the city of Bombay ... once upon a time. No, that won't do, there's no getting away from the date: I was born in Doctor Narlikar's Nursing Home on August 15th, 1947. And the time? The time matters, too. Well then: at night. No, it's important to be more ... On the stroke of midnight, as a matter of fact. Clock-hands joined palms in respectful greeting as I came. Oh, spell it out, spell it out: at the precise instant of India's arrival at independence, I tumbled forth into the world. There were gasps. And, outside the...
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...A The 1000 Most Common SAT Words abase (v.) to humiliate, degrade (After being overthrown and abased, the deposed leader offered to bow down to his conqueror.) abate (v.) to reduce, lessen (The rain poured down for a while, then abated.) abdicate (v.) to give up a position, usually one of leadership (When he realized that the revolutionaries would surely win, the king abdicated his throne.) abduct (v.) to kidnap, take by force (The evildoers abducted the fairy princess from her happy home.) aberration (n.) something that differs from the norm (In 1918, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series, but the success turned out to be an aberration, and the Red Sox have not won a World Series since.) abet (v.) to aid, help, encourage (The spy succeeded only because he had a friend on the inside to abet him.) SAT Vocabulary SAT Vocabulary A abhor (v.) to hate, detest (Because he always wound up kicking himself in the head when he tried to play soccer, Oswald began to abhor the sport.) abide 1. (v.) to put up with (Though he did not agree with the decision, Chuck decided to abide by it.) 2. (v.) to remain (Despite the beating they’ve taken from the weather throughout the millennia, the mountains abide.) abject (adj.) wretched, pitiful (After losing all her money, falling into a puddle, and breaking her ankle, Eloise was abject.) abjure (v.) to reject, renounce (To prove his honesty, the President abjured the evil policies of his wicked predecessor.) abnegation (n.)...
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...SAT Vocabulary A abase (v.) to humiliate, degrade (After being overthrown and abased, the deposed leader offered to bow down to his conqueror.) abate (v.) to reduce, lessen (The rain poured down for a while, then abated.) abdicate (v.) to give up a position, usually one of leadership (When he realized that the revolutionaries would surely win, the king abdicated his throne.) abduct (v.) to kidnap, take by force (The evildoers abducted the fairy princess from her happy home.) aberration (n.) something that differs from the norm (In 1918, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series, but the success turned out to be an aberration, and the Red Sox have not won a World Series since.) abet (v.) to aid, help, encourage (The spy succeeded only because he had a friend on the inside to abet him.) SAT Vocabulary A abhor (v.) to hate, detest (Because he always wound up kicking himself in the head when he tried to play soccer, Oswald began to abhor the sport.) abide 1. (v.) to put up with (Though he did not agree with the decision, Chuck decided to abide by it.) 2. (v.) to remain (Despite the beating they’ve taken from the weather throughout the millennia, the mountains abide.) abject (adj.) wretched, pitiful (After losing all her money, falling into a puddle, and breaking her ankle, Eloise was abject.) abjure (v.) to reject, renounce (To prove his honesty, the President abjured the evil policies of his wicked predecessor.) abnegation ...
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...New Moon By Stephenie Meyer Summary When the Cullens, including her beloved Edward, leave Forks rather than risk revealing that they are vampires, it is almost too much for eighteen-year-old Bella to bear, but she finds solace in her friend Jacob until he is drawn into a cult and changes in terrible ways For my dad, Stephen Morgan— No one has ever been given more loving and unconditional support than I have been given by you. I love you, too. These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which, as they kiss, consume. Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene VI PREFACE I FELT LIKE I WAS TRAPPED IN ONE OF THOSE TERRIFYING nightmares, the one where you have to run, run till your lungs burst, but you can't make your body move fast enough. My legs seemed to move slower and slower as I fought my way through the callous crowd, but the hands on the huge clock tower didn't slow. With relentless, uncaring force, they turned inexorably toward the end—the end of everything. But this was no dream, and, unlike the nightmare, I wasn't running for my life; I was racing to save something infinitely more precious. My own life meant little to me today. Alice had said there was a good chance we would both die here. Perhaps the outcome would be different if she weren't trapped by the brilliant sunlight; only I was free to run across this bright, crowded square. And I couldn't run fast enough. So it didn't matter to me that we were surrounded...
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...Acclaim for Chuck Palahniuk’s Choke “Just as dark and outrageous as his previous work. … His voice is so distinctive that he exists as a genre unto himself.” —The Washington Post “Palahniuk’s language is urgent and tense, touched with psychopathic brilliance, his images dead-on accurate. … [He] is an author who makes full use of the alchemical powers of fiction to synthesize a universe that mirrors our own fiction as a way of illuminating the world without obliterating its complexity.” —LA Weekly “Puts a bleakly humorous spin on self-help, addiction recovery, and childhood trauma. … Choke’s funny, mantra-like prose plows toward the mayhem it portends from the get-go.” —The Village Voice “Oddly, defiantly, addictive.” happily —Daily News “[Choke] shines a flashlight into America’s dark corners. … As darkly comic and starkly terrifying as your high school yearbook photo.” —GQ “Palahniuk is a gifted writer, and the novel is full of terrific lines.” —The New York Times Book Review “[Palahniuk’s] most enduring trait … is that marvelous quicksilver voice of his. … The exuberance of his language makes it still worthwhile to brave these often chilly and dark waters.” —The Oregonian “Choke is another welcome antidote to antiseptic consumer life, and you can’t blame it for grabbing you by the throat.” —Maxim “Palahniuk is a cult writer in the truest sense.” —Entertainment Weekly “His subversive riffs conjure a kind of jump-cut cinema of the diseased imagination, resulting...
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