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The benefits of early head start [If referring to the child care program, this should be capitalized] Shanta Denard PHL/458 Febrary 21, 2013 Joan Middleton The benefits of early head start Many people have different opinions regarding goes head start programs increase a child chance of academic success? [Writing suggestion: Unless in a quote or a title, avoid rhetorical questions in academic writing. A good idea is to provide answers, not questions] There are pros and cons to both sides of this question that makes it difficult to really [Writing suggestion--"real" or "really" means "existing in actuality"--it adds little to the meaning (and using it to mean "big," "very," or "genuine" is slang); replace it with a more expressive word] answer [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--avoid a split infinitive; consider placing the adverb (really) before or after the infinitive (to answer )--try "really to answer " or "to answer really" (or place "really" later in the sentence)] it. Children most variable learning start from birth to five years olds this is the stage where head start would begin. Since [Check word choice--"Since" is more precise in referring to time (meaning "after that"); otherwise use "because"] people think differently we [Use "we," "us," or "our" to mean yourself and coauthors, not general humanity (or yourself and the reader)] have to begin with what does a head start program do? There are two kinds of head start programs; early head start and preschool. The different in the two is the age early head start is from children from birth to three years old [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed--the meaning will be the same] and preschool is from three to five years old [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed--the meaning will be the same] right before a child enters kindergarten. Research shows that many children are entering kindergarten unprepared to learn what is needed [The passive voice is a form of "be" (is) and a participle (needed). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. Prefer the active voice. For example, passive voice = The paper was completed on time. Active voice = the student completed the paper on time. See Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar & Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] because they do not have the basic skills. For example, a child starting kindergarten could already know their [Check pronoun agreement--if "their" refers to "child" (or a singular subject), it should be singular, too (his or her)] abc’s and how to say their name and count to ten [Express numbers higher than nine in digits (when not the first word in the sentence)] ("Head Start Preschool Program", [Place commas and periods inside quotation marks] [A period or comma goes inside the closing quotation mark] n.d.). The Head Start program focuses on child development, family support, medical and [in academic writing, if this is a series, place a comma before the final conjunction (and)] nutritional care of enrolled children and these programs are free for family who falls under low income. Here are some of the pros and cons to the question are head start programs an increase in a child academic success. There are educational benefits as far as [If not meaning an actual distance, either actual or figurative (as far as you can see, as far as he could imagine, etc.), the colloquial "as far as X is concerned" (or the more informal "as far as X goes") must be complete--"is concerned" or "goes" must appear later in the sentence.] early reading, writing and [in academic writing, if this is a series, place a comma before the final conjunction (and)] math also that the head start programs had more children been seen [Passive voice ] by doctors and dentist because it a requirement to have a current physical for your [Eliminate second person (you, your) in academic documents and avoid addressing the reader directly. Prefer third-person pronouns (he, she, they, it)] child to attend head start ("Benefits of Head Start and Early Head Start Programs", [Place commas and periods inside quotation marks] [A period or comma goes inside the closing quotation mark] n. [Writing suggestion: If this sentence is as long as 50 or more words, it can be confusing with logic twists, recursions, or long lists. Cut it into shorter sentences featuring one idea. Shorter sentences are easier to comprehend] d.). This program is mainly for poverty families if the parents are having [Writing suggestion: the present progressive "are having" is an awkward phrase; use the present tense--simply "has," "have," or "are to have"] a hard time feeding their children these programs provide food for the children. Some cons are there is not enough information to determine if this program is causing a significant difference in educational advancement ("Cut Head Start!” 2011). By cutting this funding which [Use "that" for a restrictive phrase (or place a comma before "which")] cost almost 62 billion dollars those funding could be put to a different funding program which [Use "that" for a restrictive phrase (or place a comma before "which")] could help the budgets for American [Check spelling: "American" is an adjective; "America" is the noun] . Many doctors state a child brain learns the most in the early stages from birth to five years old. [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed--the meaning will be the same] A three years old [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed--the meaning will be the same] brain is more active than an adult brain, and learning is easiest during early critical periods in a child life. Most of the brain's cells are formed [Passive voice ] before birth, but most of the connections among cells are made [Passive voice ] during infancy and early childhood ("The Best Way For Children To Learn", [Place commas and periods inside quotation marks] [A period or comma goes inside the closing quotation mark] n.d.). From experience I [Avoid use of the first person (I, me, my) in academic writing unless writing about a personal experience. First person use may be allowed by the instructor. ] have one child that [Check word usage--If this word refers to a human being, people are never "that" or "which," they are "who"] did not go to head start and [Run-on sentence: Insert comma before "and" if the following is an independent clause (not part of a series)] one child that [Check word usage--If this word refers to a human being, people are never "that" or "which," they are "who"] did attend head start. The child Jordan did not attend head start he is 11 years old [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed--the meaning will be the same] but he has always made straight A’s in school. His brother Brak is five years old [Wordiness: "years old" or "years of age" can be removed--the meaning will be the same] and [Grammar: A run-on sentence requires a comma before "and" (or other conjunction) linking main clauses] [Run-on sentence: Insert comma before "and" if the following is an independent clause (not part of a series)] he did go to VPK in Jacksonville and [Run-on sentence: Insert comma before "and" if the following is an independent clause (not part of a series)] it helped him temendicely. When Brak was four before he started the early head start program he [Place comma before this word if this is the end of the introductory phrase beginning with "When"] could not write his name and once they worked with him and [Run-on sentence: Insert comma before "and" if the following is an independent clause (not part of a series)] we worked with him at home. His learning was amazing to see the transformation happen right in front of us. In conclusion, there is so much important out here about does early head start makes a child academic more successful. The problem with this is there are studies that are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that are"] for it [Writing suggestion: often you can remove "With" and "it" (and the comma before "it" if present), simplifying the sentence-- this is there are studies that are for] and again it. For my personal experience I’m [Contractions are inappropriate in academic writing--write it out] also in the middle because of the experience with my own childrens. What is a fact is the more activity a person does with his or her child [Place comma before the following comparison phrase] [Place comma here] the more their [his or her] brain works. The more the brain works [Place comma here] [Place comma before the following comparison phrase] the more learning that child does. Reading writing and coloring are all [Writing suggestion: "All" or "all of" used as an intensifier very often can be removed with no loss of meaning] simple activity that can help a child develops early learning skills that are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "that are"] needed [Passive voice ] throughout life. If a child starts off behind in class than if this problem is not corrected it will continue on [Phrasal verb: These two words mean something different from the two words separately (looking up each word in the dictionary would not produce the meaning), which could cause misinterpretation in a business communication if the reader is not from your region (or country). Try simpler wording, such as "advance," "continue," or "progress"] , and that is [Wordiness: see if you can remove "that" or "that is"] why high school dropout rate is at its high. Parent since [Check word choice--"Since" is more precise in referring to time (meaning "after that"); otherwise use "because"] there is no study that states early head start can hurt his or her children lets just start early. Head Start provides a focal point for communities to invest in America's future... [Check punctuation--An ellipsis (the three dots) means something is missing; it does not mean a pause. If you are not indicating here that words are missing from a quote, instead use a dash --] our children ("Head Start Preschool Programs", [Place commas and periods inside quotation marks] [A period or comma goes inside the closing quotation mark] n.d.).

References Benefits of head Start and Early Head Start Programs. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.nhsa.org/files/static_page_files/399EO881-1D09-3519-AD56452FC44941C3/BenefitsofHSandEHS.pdf Cut Head Start!.. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/261950/cut-head-start-katrina-trinko Head Start Preschool Program. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.caascc.org/childrenservices/headstart/ The Best Ways For CHildrens To Learn. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.squidoo.com/the-best-ways-for-children-to-learn