“The Never Ending Nightmare, a Nightmare within Itself”
I will never forget the day when one of my worst nightmares became a comical reality. It started out as any normal Friday the Thirteenth, or so I had thought. For my sense of time had completely been forgotten. Beep! Beep! Beep! This was the annoying sound of my alarm clock that I would wake up too every morning. I used to dread this sound but lately, it was like a gift from God. I had been restless the past couple of nights—tossing and turning about my bed. I would have dreams, no, horrible nightmares of performing in front of a large crowd and just freeze. I was not able to move nor was I able to speak. I would just stand there in front of what seemed like the whole world and sob. This sounds like an exaggerated case of stage fright only, it was not. I had never experienced anything of the sort. I would enter stage left, cross downstage, and then begin to recite my self-published, might I add, monologue to my peers and professors. About a good four minutes in, the lights would start to flicker. It did not bother me at first, but it continued. Eventually, the lights shut off completely. The only light remaining was the ghost light placed at center stage behind me. Suddenly, an eerie fog made its way through the cracks under the doors and in the walls. Everyone in the audience seemed to twist into a sick-like, monstrous mutation. Their faces went from laughter and serenity to anger and despair. Even their bodily appearances had changed. They grew horns out of their bodies, became tall and sickly looking, as tortuous screams, which eventually became ghastly growls, broke out from the crowd, and there I was amid them all. What monsters they had become! Upon waking up from my nightmares, I would occasionally check the calendar just to make sure I wasn’t losing my head. Friday the Thirteenth was in January. It was March now. These nightmares were just too realistic and with the universities annual Theatrical Showcase coming up, their presence was not welcoming. The nightmares always seemed to begin the same way. Ironically, it was with an old mentor of mine’s quote about stage fright, dull in the background. I remember my mentor had said, “It doesn’t matter if you don’t like your part. It doesn’t matter if you feel the weight of a million oxen on your shoulders. You just have to believe in yourself, take a breath, and do what you do best; be yourself.” These words stuck with me. No matter what I was doing I just stayed confident and was fine. I wasn’t worried about a silly old talent show. Was I? … No, I couldn’t be. Could I? No of course not! As a small child, I used to get this sick pleasure from having nightmares. Mother used to coax me and always fed me great snacks like chocolate and popcorn if I could not sleep. Nowadays, when I speak with mother she says that I am too old to be having such terrors haunt my dreams. It is not like I control when they come, but they vex me. Beep! Beep! Beep! Another thankful awakening saves me from my terrors. I get myself ready, grab a granola bar, and head out the door. On my way to school the morning after my most complete nightmare, I was going over the monologue in my head; I knew it backwards and forwards and could easily perform it at any given time. Suddenly, I felt a dark presence about me and became suddenly very cold. I whirred around to see who the imposter was. No one was there. I laughed it off as paranoia and kept walking. Upon arriving at school, I found my best friend Shannon. I could not wait to tell her about my dreams and my thinking I was being followed this morning. Shannon laughed and told me I was crazy and had nothing to worry about. She said it was just a bad case of the nerves. I knew she was right yet something didn’t feel normal. Throughout the day I kept feeling like I was being watched. I would hear terrifying sounds that were not really there: a leaky faucet, creaky doors, and the winds howling through cracks in a window pane. I tried to shake it off. “It was just a dream,” I told myself, “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
The rest of the day seemed to go by in a blur. Eventually I found myself at my dorm. My roommate was nowhere to be found. At this hour I did not expect her to be. She was more than likely out performing some satanic ritual with her weird friends. Beep! Beep! Beep! The sounds awaken me from my napping. I notice my roommate must have been by. That dirty, cat hair infested, cloth excuse of a sweatshirt she wore was thrown on her unmade bed. I never dared cross to her side of the room. Somehow she had gotten permission to paint her half of the room black. As I was leaving the room to head to the theatre for rehearsal I paused. My eyes were drawn to her collection of animal skeletons she had on an antique shelf by the door. The shelf was dimly lit by a black light. With these sorts of things in my room how I not have nightmares?
Around seven or so, I began preparing myself backstage for the “talent show”. I had to have run my routine at least a hundred times in order to ensure perfection. The stage manager came back to tell me that something was wrong with the equipment and that I wouldn’t be going on for quite some time. Up until this point, I had forgotten all about my dream. I kept reminding my brain and body of my mentor’s quote. About fifteen minutes later, the manager came back to give me my five minute cue. I started to get nervous as I paced backstage, my breathing now heavy.. I could hear the audience talking quietly as I went to my entry post. For some reason, I peered around the curtain and looked at them. “No monsters.” I whispered quietly to myself.
I laughed at the thought of myself believing in such nonsense. Finally, the lights on stage when dark as I made my entry; the audience became quiet. I was ready. The lights came on and there I was. I was not nervous at all. I waited for my background music to start and then I started to recite and feel the emotions just the way I had practiced a million times. When I was pretty well into my routine, the creepy monk-like chanting I was using as a mood placer, shut off. Then the lights began to flicker. I was in the process of completing a phrase when I noticed the audience. Their faces and bodies had changed just as they had in my dream. I froze. I started to sob and scream. How could this even be true? There was no possible explanation for any of this. Finally, the lights stopped and Shannon appeared on the side of the stage laughing. I ran to her and asked why she was laughing. She pointed to the audience who had all taken off their masks.
“April Fools!” she smirked.
I ran off stage to the wall calendar and checked the date. It said quite plainly April first. I chortled and chuckled and giggled. I had been so worked up over those dreams I suppose I really did lose all sense of time. Shannon being the prank master of the school that she was, must have thought I was perfect bait for the biggest practical joke ever! Never before had I been so scared that I laughed for such a lengthy period. My worst nightmare had become a reality and it was hilarious.
Beep! Beep! Beep! I awaken startled as I slam my hand down on the alarm clock. It was just another dream. Thank goodness. The calendar says it is almost April, strange. Upon arriving at school, I sought out Shannon. I told her of my dream and again she told me I was being silly. Little things throughout the day made me think that in some parallel universe I really did make a fool of myself by crying over some cheap Halloween masks. People would give me a dead stare as I walked through the halls. When I was eating in the Caf, the air conditioning seemed to come on full blast causing a hair rising chill to run up my spine.
Beep! Beep! Beep! I dread waking up. This was the first night I had slept peacefully in weeks. My creepy roommate was kicked out of school for placing curses on students and causing them to go crazy. Who knew witchcraft was real? I no longer had to stare at death as death stared at me upon my sleeping. At least she did not put a curse on me to relive the same day over and over again. That would be a never ending nightmare! The Theatrical Showcase is tonight. I am still uneasy.
Beep! Beep! Beep!