...Running Head: The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love Summary of: The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love English 1102 Mrs. Charleston February 3, 2011 In “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love.” Stephanie Coontz describes marriage as an “institution that brings together two people.” she shares the point that “marriage should be based on intense, profound love and a couple should maintain their ardor until death do them part” (p. 378). Coontz talks about the history behind marriage. People chose their partners based on “something as fragile and irrational as love” before they focus on their sexual, intimate, and altruistic desires. (p.378) Coontz points out that may cultures view marriage differently. Some cultures thought that being truly in love married was not capable when married. Many different societies believe that couples should not put their feeling for their spouse above certain things. Falling in love before marriage was looked upon as insanity, corrupting of the mind. French essayists Montaigne wrote that “any man who was in love with his wife was a man so dull that no one else could love him.” (p.379) Royalty married for political reasons opposed to love. Marriage was looked beyond intimacy and love. Lower and middle class people lived this way as well. People believed that showing affection to you wife was unseemly.” To love your wife with excessive ardor was also considered to be adulterous. Too much love and intimacy between a husband and wife was...
Words: 849 - Pages: 4
...family members, etc. “Will Your Marriage Last?” by Aviva Patz * It doesn’t really point on what marriage is exactly, just why it is either successful or a failure. “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love” by Stephanie Coontz * Marriage used to be strictly for the sake of reproducing and having good reputation in the social aspects of old communities, but maybe it should be more about love than that? “Sacred Rite or Civil Right?” by Howard Moody * Marriage is love, legal documentation is no more than a legal document and a signature. The vows are what mean the most, marry who you love. 2. What are reasons people get married? “For Gay Marriage” by Andrew Sullivan * If you are in love with someone, and of age to know that you are in love with them, then marriage is an option. “Against Gay Marriage” by William Bennett * People get married because they love each other if it is real, and for attention if it is gay is basically what Bennett hints around at in his article. “Will Your Marriage Last?” by Aviva Patz * "People feel they have to find a way to get there and one way is to force it, even if it only works for the time being" “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love” by Stephanie Coontz * She talks about the ancient days and olden times where as “love” was the last reason that one should get married and was seem as...
Words: 736 - Pages: 3
...Can Love Alone Make a Marriage Last Forever? What if every culture had the same expectations on the ideal marriage and if it was going to last? Many studies have been done over the years as to if a marriage is going to last and what the requirements are for getting married. In “Will Your Marriage Last” by Aviva Patz, she observed through different studies that the first two years of marriage can determine if your marriage will last or not. Also in Stephanie Coontz’ article, “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love” she suggests that marrying for the sole reason of love could lead up to divorce. I believe that love should be a part of a successful marriage but not the main reason, as supported by Coontz and Patz. Many young couples or couples in general have this ideal of marriage and when it doesn’t meet up to what they expected, the relationship starts to go downhill. The many observations of Ted Huston suggest the length of your courtship before marriage is a big factor in if your marriage will be successful or not. When you are in the beginning of a relationship you are experiencing this romantic bliss and have expectations that your entire marriage will stay in this honeymoon phase, but once things start settling down you will be faced with many challenges you did not see arising. According to Huston, “couples are most vulnerable to disillusionment when their courtship is brief” (Patz 301). After reading about Huston’s observations, I have started to look at my marriage...
Words: 627 - Pages: 3
...A summary about Marriage In the essay “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love,” Stephanie Coontz examines the history of marriage around the world and describes its transformation from a necessity for the prosperity of many past societies, to becoming a foundation for personal fulfillment and happiness in terms of a short relationship with an individual of the opposite sex. Coontz analysis that throughout the history of mankind, marriage has been a tool of survival and norm in various cultures. Coontz describes the notion that Romantic love played little or no part in a marriage and was even discouraged in few past societies. Even today in some cultures monogamy and love are not seen as a necessary part of a marriage yet seeking sexual and emotional satisfaction is the norm and is expected after just a few encounters. Modern western cultures believe in the dream of “Happily ever after” marketed to us nonstop in the media. It is said that “married couples should be best friends, sharing their most intimate feelings and secrets. They should express affection openly but also talk candidly about problems, and they should be sexually faithful to each other.” Emotional happiness seems the ultimate goal. A happy marriage is defined differently throughout the world, but only recently have the emotional and sexual needs of the partners become most popular. This idea seems exotic and exceptional when compared against a historical world view. It gives great distinction about the beliefs...
Words: 360 - Pages: 2
...Russian dramatist and contemporary Anton Chekhov wrote: "You will hardly find anything as powerful in seriousness of conception and beauty of execution." Plot and Major Characters The Kreutzer Sonata opens as a third-person narrative by an anonymous gentleman making his way across Russia by train. When the conversation among the passengers turns to the subjects of sex, love, and marriage, a lawyer claims that many couples live long, content married lives. But Pozdnyshev, another passenger, violently contradicts his statement and announces that he has murdered his wife in a jealous rage, a crime of which a jury has acquitted him. Citing that the deterioration of their marriage began on their honeymoon when they first began a sexual relationship, Pozdnyshev reveals himself as a man with an insane sexual obsession—he links sex with guilt, regards it as a 'fall' from an ideal purity, and describes sexual intercourse as a perverted thing. He tries to persuade his captive audience that all marriages are obscene shams, and that most cases of adultery are occasioned by music, the infamous aphrodisiac. This latter idea explains the title of the story, which is also a musical composition by Ludwig...
Words: 669 - Pages: 3
...During the colonial time, as European domain spread physically on the map, they bring their culture and values abroad. While two different cultures coincide, a lot of problems are revealed. Alienation and feminism are two prominent themes during the colonial period. Both problems are revealed through novels Rhys’s Wide Sargasso Sea and Bronte’s Jane Eyre with Rhys’s focus on the cultural and racial difference whereas Bronte’s focus on economic power and moral strength of female. Fanon in the “Wretched of the Earth” says that the only solution for the colonized people is through violence. This radical idea underlies premises which draws from the social norms during the time period. Fanon says “The colonial world is a world cut in two” (38, Fanon). When colonizers come to the colony, they deem their culture better than the indigenous one and their goal is to put their values above the local ones. Hence it draws a clear line between the colonizer and colonized people. Because of the stark dichotomy, there is always tension in the colonies. It is only through the eyes of characters who stand in between the dichotomy and the through the different reaction as they maneuver between different classes that shows the problem during colonization. In Wide Sargasso Sea, Ryes rewrites Bertha Mason in Jane Eyre. Instead of describing her through other people’s eyes, she gives Bertha her own voice; she has a history and goes through different emotions. It is a text which represents the issue...
Words: 1818 - Pages: 8
...Causes and Effects of Broken Family Family is the basic unit of society. This is the most essential component of a country. Governance will only be effective if the citizens are properly oriented with good values and virtues, which is commonly taught by the family. A home is where a family lives. It may be alternated to the word ‘house’ but a house is more appropriately referring to the material structure, whereas ‘home’ refers to the intangible things that bind together the family members. It is the immeasurable love and care that keeps together the mother, father and their children. However, no matter how ideal a family in the terms of their relationship, there are still hardships and misunderstandings that will come along the way. It is just part of any relationship anyway. But, the sad part is when one of the family members gave up and the others have no choice but to accept and let go. Thus, the family starts to be broken. Broken family varies from numerous reasons why it had to be that way. But usually, misunderstanding starts from simple domestic quarrel that grows impertinently damaging the long-forged relationship between the family members. When a couple split up, it is the children that are greatly affected scarring them physically, emotionally and socially. The most common dispute between a husband and a wife is the financial issue. This is rooted when the father, which should be the provider for the family, can’t give enough money for the sustenance...
Words: 2285 - Pages: 10
...there is a lot of controversy over the issue of gay marriage. There are constant discrepancies between adamant believers in gay marriage and the political leaders of our country. The government’s refusal of the right of the marriage of homosexuals should not be tolerated. A large portion of people in America at the moment are utterly and completely against gay marriage, however there are also those who possess a more liberal view on the situation and feel differently towards the subject of equal treatment for all people. Religious beliefs often play a substantial role in the decision making process in many ways. For instance, Christian politicians are using their religious beliefs to impose their views and ideas upon people of their denomination. Christians believe that gay marriage shouldn’t be allowed because of the Bible entries that suggest that God made man and women for each other and that any other variation of this couple is a sin. Some feel that this country was founded on the beliefs of Christianity and therefore we should respect those ideals of our forefathers but this can no longer be the case. Our society has grown throughout the years and people have become more and more accepting of change. Every person has their own religious freedom to worship which ever God they see fitting and to believe in any cause they choose. There has been separation from church and state for many years and though this...
Words: 1205 - Pages: 5
...in order to maintain that he is manly. In the context of this story, he begins to love Ikemefuna who becomes like his son but he forbids himself from showing any type of affection. The author states “Okonkwo never showed any emotion openly, unless it be the emotion of anger. To show affection was a sign of weakness,- the only thing worth demonstrating was strength. He therefore treated Ikemefuna as he treated everybody else - with a heavy hand.” This demonstrates that even towards the people that he loved, he would act extremely hostile. His hostility continues in the form of beatings, harsh words, etc. In his radical mind, all of actions he takes are justified as he is promoting his idealistic view of manliness. This can be seen in the real world especially in middle eastern countries where militant groups have risen in recent times. These militant groups promote their idealistic view of the world and go to extremes in terms of their treatment amongst each other and everyone else. Similar to Okonwo, they justify their actions as they think they are infallible and can not be challenged. This is extremely dangerous as it leads to isolation of people of differing opinions. Being convinced in one’s ideas may lead to dangerous methods in enforcing their opinions. Furthermore, extremism is detrimental to the advancement of society. Our modern world would not be possible if people stuck to their ideas and ignored others. Not too long ago, black people were treated with the separate-but-equal...
Words: 1750 - Pages: 7
...Many young women die in Poe’s stories, one of the most famous being “Annabel Lee”. The similarities between the two include Annabel marrying young, being struck with illness, and the man not only loving her, but worshipping her. Another story being “The Black Cat”, where the beloved wife died due to the husband himself killing her. “Uplifting an axe, forgetting, in my wrath, the childish dread which had hitherto stayed in my hand, I aimed a blow at the animal which, of course, would have proved instantly fatal had it descended as I wished. But this blow was arrested by the hand of my wife. Goaded, by the interference, into a rage more than demonical, I withdrew my arm from her grasp, and I buried the axe in her brain.” There are so many parallels between the deaths around him and his stories, that they can’t be coincidental, they must’ve influenced...
Words: 966 - Pages: 4
...couples who do not have this experience. On the other hand, there are many unwed, Christian couples who do. If you do not need to be married to have a strong relationship with God, and if you do not need to be married to have a fulfilling sexual experience with your partner, why is pre-marital sex frowned upon? In December 2006, researchers from the Guttmacher Institute found through research that about 95% of America’s public population had already had sex before they were married. Out of that percentage, about 84% of them were unmarried Americans between the ages of 18-23 (Regnerus et al. 1). While most of these people have sexual relationships with their first loves at younger ages or involve themselves in unreserved sex during college, many of them do eventually marry someone (whether that is the first love, the third, or the twelfth) at some point in their lives. Even with this being true, controversy still rises within the church about whether it is “ok” for unmarried people to indulge in what is meant to be a spiritual and physical glory to God, and an activity intended for husband and...
Words: 1833 - Pages: 8
...and Jonathan Swift, a true satiric master, have used irony to promote real, legitimate change. In Swift’s case, his famous piece, “A Modest Proposal,” used extreme satire and irony to promote change in Irish policy. Perhaps the greatest satirist of all time, William Shakespeare used irony in almost every piece he created. In his play Julius Caesar, the speech he has Mark Antony give in which he repeats the phrase “but Brutus is an honorable man” when he is trying to convey the exact opposite serves as a truly timeless example of this literary tool. It is unique in that it does not simply throw the author’s point of view directly in the reader’s face, but rather enables the reader to discover the author’s truth. It makes the statement or idea the author is trying to express much more meaningful and subsequently gives it an evocative undertone to truly make the reader think, as the appearance created by the characters’ thoughts and actions is often at odds with reality. Irony is a fundamental part of what makes literature so special and one can find it at the heart of timeless...
Words: 5225 - Pages: 21
..."The River-Merchant's Wife: A Letter" (1917) Summary: This poem takes the form of a letter from a lonely wife who has not seen her husband in five months. She begins by reminiscing about meeting him during childhood. She was pulling flowers at the front gate and he came by on stilts, playing horse. The next two lines, "And we went on living in the village of Chokan/Two small people, without dislike or suspicion," imply that the pair did not grow close right away following that encounter; they continued to grow up separately. In the next stanza, the wife describes marrying her husband at age fourteen. After that, she was continuously shy, either out of respect, sub-ordinance, or just because of her introverted personality. According to the next stanza, she became more comfortable with the marriage by age fifteen and "stopped scowling." A year later, her husband (a merchant) departed for another village, which is where he has been for the past five months. The monkeys' sorrowful noise mirrors her loneliness. She writes that her husband "dragged [his] feet" when he left - indicating that he did not want to leave her. She ends her letter by writing that if he comes back along the river, he should send word ahead, and she will come out to meet him. The poem is signed "by Rihaku." Analysis: Pound was not the creator of this poem; he translated it from the original Chinese version by Li Po. The Chinese original likely had a specific form and identifiable meter, but Pound...
Words: 3595 - Pages: 15
...The Modern Womanhood in China and Korea Yang Zhang March 29, 2007 The Modern Womanhood in China and Korea I was born in the generation when the one-child policy was on its second round, Deng Xiaoping’s economic reform was just on its way for the creation of better and richer China, and China started to set its way for the formation of pioneered "Socialism with Chinese characteristics" and the "socialist market economy". I am a woman, a young Chinese woman who has not yet experienced so much bitterness, yet enough for becoming aware the lives of women in modern Chinese society as well as other eastern Asian countries. Chinese had a long history of believing that males had the aptitude to think critically, whereas females had long hair but limited perception. While I have been educated in the United States of America, my perception has been broadened by reading through the novels about women’s lives in the past and present times. By closely reading, I precede my interpretations according to author’s words. Like any other children born after 1979 in China, I am the only child, the only heir to my dear parents. My father could be allowed to have a second child if he didn’t stay in the city with my mother. Unlike in some rural areas of the China where they are not under the restriction of Planned Birth Policy, urban parents overprotect their children, especially they are girls. Instead of being viewed by pearls or precious gifts, I personally think this is the...
Words: 2459 - Pages: 10
...The 19th century had several utopias practicing their own beliefs, but none as radical and restrictive than the Oneida community. While the Oneida community had several flaws, the Oneida community did not follow the traditional treatment of women during that time period. Since women did not receive the right to vote until 1920 and this community was founded in 1848, it showed how ahead of its time the Oneida Community was. Women in this community were not forcefully domesticized, but due to lack of effort and education in other forms of work, they usually worked in unskilled positions, which were rotated with the other unskilled workers. This suppressed many options the community members could hold from working outside the community. Even though women were not given a fair opportunity to rise above the common working positions...
Words: 1737 - Pages: 7
