Theoretical explanation of singlehood as a lifestyle
A person who is not in a romantic intimate relationship is considered to be single. “Unclaimed treasure”, “old maid” and “spinster” are terms that are used synonymously to refer to women who remain single throughout their lives Baumbusch (2004). There’s a number of ways in which singlehood can be viewed, some may see it a personal choice while others might believe that it’s a symptom of problematic attachment styles. The purpose of this paper is to discuss explanations for why people may adopt single lifestyles, to highlight the strengths and weaknesses of these explanations and to finally support why I believe singlehood is seldom a choice but more of a response to circumstances that do not offer the opportunity for another alternative like marriage. This thought is also supported by Buambusch J. L. (2004, p 9)) when it says that none of the participants had consciously chosen single life; this is demonstrated in their short term plans in anticipation of future marriage. The theories that will be examined in this paper are the Sternberg’s typology of love and connectedness, theories of interpersonal attraction and attachment styles in intimate relationships.
Psychologist Robert Sternberg (1988) created his influential triangular theory of love. He believed that different types of love (liking, infatuated love, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love and consummate love) arise from different combinations of three basic components, namely intimacy, passion and commitment. Coon and Mitterer, (2010). If a person has been in numerous relationships and has never felt that he or she has achieved a proper combination of the three components that give rise to consummate love, they might be discouraged and opt to be single for the rest of their lives. “But I think I never trusted the fact that maybe I