...They’re Not Your Husband The short story ”They’re Not Your Husband” is written by Raymond Carver who is known for his minimalistic writing style also referred to as “dirty realism” which centres on the themes, as the American middle-class life marked by marital problems, alcoholism, unemployment and existential uncertainty , which is certainly also the case with “They’re Not Your Husband”. The setting of the story resembles very much an American suburb in the 1960’s to 70’s in middle to lower-class environment. This setting serves Raymond Carvers writing style – dirty realism well. In the story he comments on society and its flaws where one of the very prominent one is on the beauty ideal set by society and also the treatment of women in that time. Earl does not seem to acknowledge his wife Doreen as a person but see her more as an object - a prize to boost his ego. An episode in the story that really emphasis this is the scene in the coffee shop where Earl overhears the 2 men talking about Doreens’ bottom and instead of defending her he just got and left. He later on tell Doreen – and I quote “I think you could stand to lose a few pounds” which is in a relationship the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot but instead she listens to him – maybe a little to much since she later on developed an eating disorder. Which just goes to show that she is the one doing all the work. Further more you could say that the coffee shop symbolizes their relationship. She...
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...“They’re Not Your Husband” is a short story by Raymond Carver, where he writes about the man named Earl Ober, who is an unemployed salesman, with his wife (Doreen) working as a waitress, at a 24-hour coffee shop. After a night of drinking as he usually does he goes to see the place where his wife works. Here he is treated like a nuisance by his wife. Two men start talking about his wife’s weight and this bothers Earl greatly. He decides to let Doreen know that she (he) has a problem with her weight. After this incident she tries to go on a diet but she ends up not eating at all and not looking healthy. He continues to pressure her, so she would keep dieting. He ends up in the coffee shop again and tries to “sell” her to a man sitting next to him. The story ends abruptly; with Doreen telling everybody that he is a salesman. The total lack of benevolence between husband and wife are clearly seen straight away: “What are you doing here? Doreen said when she saw him sitting there” and later she says: “Don’t talk to me now. I’m busy.” Earl is very embarrassed when two men in business suits start talking about his wife’s weight. He then sits quietly and hopes the two men won’t see the connection between him and his wife, and that is also the reason for him not saying goodbye to his wife. It almost seems like he acquires the point of view the two unidentified men have. The troubles of Doreen and Earl’s relationship are also made clear by this fact, because this clearly shows...
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...“They’re Not Your Husband” is a short story by Raymond Carver, where he writes about the man named Earl Ober, who is an unemployed salesman, with his wife (Doreen) working as a waitress, at a 24-hour coffee shop. After a night of drinking as he usually does he goes to see the place where his wife works. Here he is treated like a nuisance by his wife. Two men start talking about his wife’s weight and this bothers Earl greatly. He decides to let Doreen know that she (he) has a problem with her weight. After this incident she tries to go on a diet but she ends up not eating at all and not looking healthy. He continues to pressure her, so she would keep dieting. He ends up in the coffee shop again and tries to “sell” her to a man sitting next to him. The story ends abruptly; with Doreen telling everybody that he is a salesman. The total lack of benevolence between husband and wife are clearly seen straight away: “What are you doing here? Doreen said when she saw him sitting there” and later she says: “Don’t talk to me now. I’m busy.” Earl is very embarrassed when two men in business suits start talking about his wife’s weight. He then sits quietly and hopes the two men won’t see the connection between him and his wife, and that is also the reason for him not saying goodbye to his wife. It almost seems like he acquires the point of view the two unidentified men have. The troubles of Doreen and Earl’s relationship are also made clear by this fact, because this clearly shows...
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...the research team interviewed a completely new random sample of 2,100 married individuals. "So we can look at two different kinds of change," Amato explains: "How individual marriages change over time, and how the population of married couples has changed between 1980 and 2000." Their results are changing the way people think about marriage and divorce, and particularly about the effects of divorce on children. "I think it's our study," says Booth, "that put the capstone on the idea that divorce can be bad for children. That's influenced a lot of family therapists to get parents to focus on the kids. "The thing we'd like to have an effect on are all the people who get a divorce who are not in high-conflict marriages. They're not in great marriages, maybe, but they're in okay marriages. Can they be encouraged to stick with it until the kids are grown?" Women working, Booth...
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...Most people used to get married all the time, but it seems as if today a huge number of people prefer to stay single than to be married. They each have their pros and cons at times, and they’re different mindsets. I interviewed a married couple I have been close to for several years, and I also interviewed by two best friends who are single. After my research, I have compared and contrasted what I learned about being single and being married. One thing I learned from my interview is responsibility, and how huge of a difference it is in single and married life. Married people are responsible for their husband/wife, while single people are responsible for themselves. Single people want to live their life through the motions and take it as an adventure, explore new things, see new places; but it’s hard for married people to do that. While married people are constantly thinking of their partner, or their children, single people only think of themselves. Life can be easy for single people, but it can be, at times, complicated for married people. But, in my opinion, married people are more responsible than the single people I talked too. Some of the things the married couple I sat down and talked with named a few things that have to do with responsibility: constantly having to manage their money, shop/cook/clean, guiding their family in a Godly manner and raising their children up the right way, spend time with their children, and also make sure to spend...
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...“Baglady” analyze The short story “Baglady” by A. S. Byatt from the collection “Elementals” (1998) I want to tell about what language there are used, what type of text it is, and how the end effects you. It is written with third person limited view, as you only hear the thoughts and feeling from one person, and that is Daphne who is the protagonist in this story. You hear about one event in “Baglady”. The business trip with Daphne’s husband Rollo, his colleagues and their wives. This means that the story is written with scenic presentation. The language in “Baglady” is easy to read, not many difficult words are used. It is not a very emotional text, you don’t hear about a lot of feelings, it mostly describes the surroundings instead. You don’t really hear a lot of speech between the different characters. There are a few conversations mentioned between Daphne and her husband Rollo. And in those conversations they talk about the fact that Daphne doesn’t want to go on the trip, but Rollo insists that she goes with him. “Baglady” doesn’t extend over a period of time. It is told in the moment as Daphne experiencing them. There are a few flashbacks which appear as conversations between Daphne and Rollo. This gives you the feeling that you’re in the moment with her. The story starts in media res, with one of the other wives explaining something to everybody else, so you don’t know what had happened before. In this case you figure out a little bit about what had happened...
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...genders male and females company to one another, affection to one another, and to create children. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) described the importance of marriage as being half of your religion. Also, The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) ordered us to do it, and it is sunnah for you to get married.The importance of marriage also helps to spread Islam all over the world and increasing our ummah. The Qur’an encourages marriage for many reasons. For instance, committing forniking outdoor of marriage doesn't benefit you in society. With out marriage, it can lead to temptations that can lead to hell fire. Process of marriage The first step into getting married is seeking a Wali. A Wali is the nearest relative to women, such as her father or brother. Brother would only be used if the father has passed away or is no where to be found during that time. If none of your Wali’s are there the next option would be to get a Wakil, which is the Imam. It is his job to find more information on the person the women is marrying. After picking the right man, they can plan to schedule a time they want to meet each other. The time the man and women are meeting each other there has to be a supervisor or guardian present at that time. After they've met a couple of times and they are ready to get married there is a prayer that they're to pray, which is called Salatul Istakahrah . The prayer is to basically to help them with guidance. If the prayer isn't done it'll invalidate the marriage. It is a prayer that'll...
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...about her marriage with Othello by saying: “my noble father, I do perceive here a divided duty. To you I am bound for life and education. My life and education both do learn me how to respect you. You are the lord of duty. I am hitherto your daughter. But here’s my husband. And so much duty as my mother showed you, preferring you before her father, so much I challenge that I may profess due to the Moor my lord.” (Shakespeare 1.3.182-192) This demonstrates how women needed to obey men whether it was their father or husband. Since Desdemona is no longer under her father’s control, she has to obey the man she married. Even at her last breath, Desdemona remains true to her husband. She says, “commend me to my kind lord.” (5.2.137) Desdemona was strong enough to stay loyal to her husband and not snitch on...
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... This article is a definitely eye opener. Effective communication and for only a small amount of time a day can beneficial. It’s and wonder that by removing a small part of your day to communicate with your partner can potentially safe your relationship. I can really relate to this article. As I was reading it I was picturing my marriage. My husband and I talk a few times a day. This really made me happy and as I believed we were always communicating. Then I continued to read the article and I read "Many couples think they're communicating with each other" when they sort out who will pick up the kids, pay the bills or call the grandparents.” Schoenberg (2011)This really drove it home for me. Out of 6 times my husband and I talk a day at least 5 is about one of these items. So we are really not communicating at all. I agree self disclosure is one of the most important elements needed in a relationship and it directly relates to satisfaction in a relationship. If can not be open and honest with your partner why can you be open with. Your partner should be your best friend. You should be able to share anything all of your feelings, emotions, and darkest secrets. As far as gender differences, my husband and I are the same. We are both very needy. We like to hear it one another say we love each other and we like to see. For example we right love notes or send love texts. I feel as if we fit into this generalization...
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...7 years to her husband who was also the father of all three of her children. The girls with the oldest being 6 years old followed by a 4-year-old and now a 3-month-old. Gladys has reported that her husband has an anger problem and that he's taking his anger out on the entire house. Gladys has stated that her husband has always been angry since after the birth of their daughter. She said that her husband out of control during the interview, she feels like she doesn't know what to do. Gladys stated that her husband pays the bills on time, but the only money she received is a small weekly allowance for food and some supplies for the girls.I will take a basis intake and the demographic to start....
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...I. INTRODUCTION In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety. In general, sex is a sexual activity done by male and female to produce a new organism. Sex is used to express and to unite the love of two persons. In Indonesia, sex was a very sacred process that was only done by a marriage couple. The only reason to have sex is to have child. Nobody talks about relationships, about intimate feeling, moreover about sex. In Indonesia sex was taboo. As time pass by, Indonesia becoming a developing country. Which means it has to be more global so it can compete with other countries. By entering the globalization era, Indonesia enters a completely different world. It has to adjust its culture in a lot of aspects, such as language, education, entertainment, etc. Of course there's price to pay for a more modern country. Not only influenced by the good things, but also the bad things. The one example that we will discuss is about sex. Nowadays, people are becoming very familiar with the term sex. Most of people already understand what it is and what it is for. Which is good, but now the problem is, people start to have sex before they get married. We know that western culture allows sex before marriage. Not only that, 98% people there lost their virginity when they are around 15-17. For them, it is almost weird when somebody is still a virgin when they are in college. Which...
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...give you the winning lotto numbers. Do not make nice with a sociopath. Or so you'll think after reading Martha Stout's book. The Sociopath Next Door is an intriguing look at these devious, tricky people who live a life without a conscience. She describes the sociopath as a person who doesn't have guilt or remorse, or a sense of conscience. Literally they have no conscience. Their minds are such that the sociopath is free to run among us in the world, doing what they like without feeling bad or upset. They don't lie awake at night, wishing they could take back a nasty remark. They don't bite back and keep from saying nasty things to the clerk at Blockbuster when asked to check their backpacks at the store. If they say something awful, they're not going to feel sorry for it. That really seems to be the gist of sociopath, the total lack of remorse or regard for other people. The DSM-IV criteria -- the gold standard for diagnosing mental disorders -- Dr. Stout says, lists seven characteristics: failure to conform to social norms, being deceitful and manipulating, being impulsive, being irritable or aggressive, being unconcerned about the safety of the self or anybody else, being consistently irresponsible, and being unconcerned and unremorseful...
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...Can you remember anything else he'd said about the boy? A name perhaps?" "No, I can't remember his name but dad said that he lived on a farm out of town." "Did your dad use to drive a pickup?" The son laughs. "Yes, he drove that beat up old thing until the day he died. Mom has a picture of it somewhere. Come to think about it I think she has a picture of the boy and dad holding up a large catfish too." "Could you fax me a copy?" "The pictures would help your investigation?" "It'd be very helpful." "I'll send it in a few minutes." "I'll be looking forward to receiving the photo. Thank you so much for your time." Hanging up the phone, she turns towards the two ladies. "That's great news, detectives!" "The first real break we've had on this case. Now to see what I can do about the house." "Can't you search the property detective?" Wanda asks. "Not without a warrant and I need probable cause for that. If I can prove that Tony purchased the house using proceeds from illegal activities that might be enough. Let me go to talk to my captain, see what he...
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...Disney World has to offer . It also give readers/consumers/viewers strong feelings of happiness that can spark the desire to one day go on vacation and get the full attention of each other. The first appeal I noticed was escape because according to Fowles“desire to duck out of our social obligations, to seek rest or adventure.” and in this ad going on vacation is the ultimate getaway for anyone. The part of the ad that expresses this appeal is the headline “exhale” (Exhale, 43) meaning one can finally relax and get away from it all. Another example is of the family showing pleasure while on vacation. The main picture of this ad is of this family smiling, laughing and enjoying themselves. The mother is laughing, the husband/father is smiling at the mother because he sees her having fun, and the son is on the father’s back smiling and enjoying himself. Being on vacation with family and loved ones gives one the feeling of freedom from the everyday stress that life can bring upon us. The next appeal in the ad is affiliation. I chose this appeal because of: 1) The family being with each other in what could be a swimming pool on a float 2) The son holding hands with Goofy and smiling in the...
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...Doris’ goals were once upon a time to be a nurse. After that brief period of being a nurse her real goal was to grow up and raise a family. She felt that she just wanted to have a happy family with a few kids and good husband and that, to me, seems like what a lot of people thought back then. Favorite foods are cool because so many people have such different things that there can be a huge diversity in the foods people like in the next state, the next town even. Doris’ favorite food is “Whatever’s in front of me”. I think that can relate to a lot of people. Some of the favorite foods from the 1950’s would be silver dollar hamburgers, fruit cups, and salted almonds, just to name a few. Her favorite game was probably Kick the can “If there was somebody you didn’t like you’d sneak right up and miss the can”. She mostly played a lot of homemade games which I think is cool, the best games you can play are games you and your family make for each other to play with each other. It’s a really good way to bond with your family, which is important after all, Family was and is one of the most important things in life. “We used to spend hours walking on a barrel seeing who could balance the longest”. It was a nice challenge for everyone and the winner got first dibs on...
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