A Soul Mate in a Friend
Everyone has had that one person in their lives who completely turned their lives upside down and possibly changed it forever. In middle school I wanted to be just like everyone else. I wanted to be like all the popular girls, the girl with a boyfriend, and I wanted to dress cool. I looked down on myself because I was not like them. I wore glasses, and a size D-cup bra, when most girls barely needed an A or B. To top it all off, I was in band, and I didn’t even play something cool like the drums. No, I played the Saxophone.
I thought it all mattered, until one particular girl walked into my class and my life, the very first day of eighth grade.
She had blonde, super-curly hair, like Shirley Temple. It was frizzy and chaotic, yet somehow she owned it. Her glasses sat awkwardly on the tip of her nose and occasionally she pushed them back up. She wore a simple t-shirt and jeans, never anything that stood out, yet something about her screamed unique.
Something itched inside me, daring me to talk to this girl, so when she took a seat next to me, I took my chance. “Hey. What is your name?”
“Alexis King,” she said, offering her hand to shake.
I smiled, all the while wondering, What kind of name is Nederhood. “I’m Brittany.”
I still wanted to get to know her. In some ways, I wanted to be like her. She carried herself with a nonchalant stride and an air that said she really did not care what anyone thought.
As the first week of school progressed, I noticed more of her personality emerge. Her sense of humor teetered between borderline inappropriate and just plain wrong. In a strange way, her crudeness was endearing. As much as I wanted not to laugh, I often found myself close to tears and breathless.
Most kids our age were too afraid to say things that probably should not come out of a fourteen-year-olds’ mouth. She never seemed to give it a second thought though. That was who she was. I envied her for that. She was not afraid to be who was. My mother was the only other person I knew of like that. Someone my age being so fearless was the coolest thing in the world.
Our friendship developed quickly after that first week and I have never been the same.
We understood each other on a different level than my other so-called friends. Our friendship was easy from the start, as if we had known each other our entire lives. I had never been very comfortable in my own skin, but the more time I spent with her, the more I came out of my shell. I no longer cared to be popular and my need for a boyfriend grew less important. I truly only wanted to be me.
Alexis spoke her mind, even if it was not wanted. She had a knack of making people do a double take. She showed me that it was okay to say what was on my mind and to speak up for those who could not or did not have the strength to stand up for themselves. Showing support through my words no matter how small or simple they might be, was all right.
I had been raised to speak my mind. At home, I did, but when faced with the public, not so much. Alexis gave me the support I needed. I had always had a voice, and now I know how to use it.
Although I continued to watch the way she carried herself, somehow I still looked down on myself at times. I tried to tell myself that I did not care what boys thought of me, but a little voice in the back of my mind whispered, “You’re not her. You never will be. There is a reason you do not have a boyfriend.”
Unfortunately, I allowed that voice to get the best of me and I even sent her a text one night complaining about some boy I thought I was in “love” with.
She told me to suck it up, go talk to him, and if he did not like me, she advised me to take it in stride, keep my head up and be the woman my mother had raised me to be.
The confidence Alexis instilled in me, helped with my fear of talking to boys. She reminded me that everyone had insecurities and that was what make us who we are.
She has always been quick to laugh at others’ mishaps, but also the first to make fun of herself. She said if she could not make fun of herself, then she had no right to laugh at someone else.
I have taken that motto with me and asked, if I am capable of making fun myself, then what else is there to worry about? So what if I were glasses? So what if I like Harry Potter? So what if I can tell the difference between a Vulcan and a Romulan?
It is all okay, because that is who I am.
Sometimes I wonder how I could have made it through high school without her. I lived for the days we argued over Team Jacob or Team Edward, and whether Coke should be called soda or pop. We even argued over silly things like whether I was left handed or right. She swore I was right handed, though I am not. Our lunch conversations, which were reason enough to lock us up in mental hospitals, made my life easier, especially when things at home were not the best.
Until now, I had never really paid attention to the person I was before I met her compared to the person I am today. In so many ways, I am who I am because of her. I have had plenty of “best friends” but, none have showed me as much as she has, and I doubt she knows.
When I look back on it now, it would be easy to say that on the first day of eighth grade, I met my soul mate in the form of my best friend.
She taught me to love myself, embrace who I am and that it is all right to laugh at my quirks. She showed me that it is okay to let go of my inner nerd, and that embracing my own weirdness is the only way to accept who I am.
I read a quote once by Anais Nin that said, “Each friend is a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only meeting them that a new world is born.”
This statement could not be truer for me.
I found a true friend who helped me discover who I am and no matter how many miles separate us now, our friendship will last a lifetime. For that, I am truly grateful.