As the director of the Federal EPA, I would set in motion three simple rulings that I alone, with no Congressional oversight, would come up with. Since Congress abated it’s role of developing the laws of this nation within the realm of the EPA, and since in this day and age it is acceptable to act in defiance of Congressional inquiry, my changes would be far reaching and highly effective. My first ruling as administrator of the EPA, would be the destruction of all Monsanto research and production facilities as they are the devil incarnate and destroy all that they see and touch. Their man-made poison and their man-made foods will no longer be allowed to pollute our bodies, the air we breathe, nor the soil and water that we use for our crops. Their company executives will be publicly executed and company assets seized with all funds being deposited to the U.S. Treasury in a fund for family farm subsidies. All of their lower level employees will be banished to Canada or China. Secondly, to protect the air and water quality, all self-loathing Democrats will be required to live up to their wishes of everyone driving fuel efficient cars by actually providing the funds to do so out of their own bank accounts. Taxpayer funds will not be used for government car-owning schemes. There will be a sliding scale, depending on asset worth, as to how many of these vehicles the government will force these people to purchase for the betterment of their countrymen. Said vehicles will be emblazoned with the phrase “Forward” and the name of its purchaser to encourage more participants in the “Moving Forward” program. They will also get their wish of high fuel prices, as they will be required through their registration to pay a higher fuel price than non-registered citizens. They must also pay the higher fuel price for the vehicles that they have purchased in my “Moving Forward” program.