...UNRESOLVED GRIEF AND CONTINUING BONDS: AN ATTACHMENT PERSPECTIVE Much of the contemporary bereavement literature on the continuing bond to the deceased (CB) has emphasized its adaptiveness and given limited attention to when it may be maladaptive. The attachment literature on disorganized– unresolved attachment classification in relation to loss, or ‘‘unresolved loss,’’ is informative in identifying CB expressions that are indicative of failure to integrate the death of a loved one. In this article, an important linkage is identified between a prominent indicator of unresolved loss that involves a lapse in the monitoring of reasoning implying disbelief that the person is dead and the clinical writings of J. Bowlby (1980) and V. D. Volkan (1981) on maladaptive variants of CB expression. The aim is to highlight the value of the attachment literature on unresolved loss in clarifying the conditions under which CB is likely to be maladaptive. There is increasing agreement among bereavement theorists and practitioners that an ongoing attachment to the deceased can be an integral part of successful adaptation to bereavement (Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, 1996). This position, commonly known as the ‘‘continuing bonds’’ perspective, is counter to that presented by Freud (1917=1957) in his classic work ‘‘Mourning and Melancholia,’’ in which he proposed that successful adaptation to loss required the bereaved to detach his or her psychic investment in the deceased...
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...Dying is an aspect of life that starts from the day we are born. Each day that passes and the human becomes older and one step closer to death. Biological, psychological, social and cultural factors can all affect the capacity for coping with death. Fry states that death is considered a natural part of life that disrupts life’s plans and can cause immense pain (1990). Often in religious communities death is welcomed as a better place than being here on earth. Individuals are encouraged to accept that death is a natural part of life and offer coping mechanisms to grieve. Younger individuals tend to see death as being far off into the future whereas an individual in late adulthood is experiencing the thought of death on a daily basis. As a young adult we live life in the fast lane and take many things for granted. Illness and disease can also affect how the aged cope with death. Suffering from cancer, heart disease and other serious disease can cause extreme fear of dying. If he or she is biologically unstable dealing with death may lead to an unhealthy acceptance of death or lead to one taking part in dangerous and risky behaviors. Ineffective coping skills can lead to emotions of depression, fatal illness and suicide. When death is sudden or unexpected people are not allowed the time to prepare mentally and can lead to feelings of loss and confusion. Losing a friend, spouse or loved due to murder, accident or war can make the process of grieving hard and difficult to accept...
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...Healthy grief Healthy Grief Elizabeth Garcia Grand Canyon University: Spirituality and Christian Values in Health Care and Wellness Dr. Sunshine Weeks May 4, 2012, 2012 Grief is a natural reaction to a loss that most humans experience at some point. Grief does not necessarily occur after the death of a loved one, but it can also occur after a diagnosis of an illness, a breakdown of a relationship, infertility, addiction, financial difficulties or job loss. These are examples of great magnitude stressors, and as a result, lead to an emotional response to trauma, and therefore, to live a duel. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who worked with terminally ill patients, providing comfort and support, developed a model known as "The five stages of grief." These stages are a very helpful tool to understand the stages that family members or either ourselves can go through when we live a duel, a perfect example that we can understand these stages is the story of the suffering of Job in the bible. In everyday life, people are experiencing losses like the loss of some friends who are going for personal reasons or death, loss of skills or habits, change of school, home, single life is lost, a divorce or separation, losses more severe than others. For each loss, the person experiences a process of suffering until the person reaches the acceptance that the lost thing or person are no longer with them. This process is called "duel" and as a process, it has...
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...During the novel ‘The Child in Time’, the main character Stephen experiences a great deal of loss and/or grief. When one experiences grief, they experience it by going through five stages. These stages are as follows, (not necessarily in chronological order), disbelief, yearning, anger, depression and acceptance. With these two points in mind, I shall be producing an essay that examines how Stephen experiences these five stages through times in the novel. Disbelief, this is defined as the inability or refusal to accept that something is true or real. Stephen under goes this first stage of grief during a very imagery rich part, in the beginning of the novel. He loses Kate in the supermarket and when he goes home to tell Julie, he cannot believe that it has actually happened, he is still in shock. From this we are able to establish that Stephen is about to embark on the long journey through grief. I find it interesting that McEwan situates Stephen undertaking disbelief towards the start of the novel. I feel that he is foreshadowing to the readers that Stephen is going to be a character, which leads a rocky life, through loss of many things. Yearning, the word portrays Stephen’s craving for something in the novel consummately. I would describe yearning as having an intense feeling of longing for something. That ‘something’ for Stephen is two very important people in his life, Kate and Julie. We know that Stephen longs for his daughter. There is no specific reference needed from...
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...Experiential Learning Essay Template Review this check list in prior to submitting your experiential learning essay. If you have completed all of the items listed below, you are ready to submit your essay. Keep in mind, your evaluator may still request additional material, however, the list below will guide in your essay submission preparations. Not adhering to these guidelines will cause a delay in processing. ** Review each of the items below and check if you have completed each of them: 1. I have selected an approved essay topic from the essay course descriptions page. http://www.phoenix.edu/admissions/prior_learning_assessment/experiential-essays/essay-topics.html 2. Some essays have specific experience requirements. I have checked the essay description and I meet all of the experience requirements listed. 3. I have written and included a 1,500 to 2,100 word autobiography; autobiography is only required with first Experiential Learning Essay, subsequent essays do not require additional autobiographies. 4. I have written an experiential essay: 3,000 to 4,500 words for 3 credit essay 5. My essay is written in first person (1st) without references. 6. I have written to all four (4) areas of Kolb’s model of learning. 7. I have addressed all of the required subtopics in each of the four areas of Kolb’s model of learning. 8. I have included supporting documentation that validates my personal/professional experience with the essay course description/topic. 9. My essay is based...
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...An Untimely Rivalry In the short story “Enemies” the narrator describes the interaction between two men that have had significant losses in their lives. The first man, Kirilov, is a poor, country doctor that has just lost his son to disease while the second man, Abogin, is a rich merchant who has lost his wife to infidelity. These men, as described by the narrator, could not be more different from each other, but circumstances dictate that they actually share something in common: grief. Throughout the story the narrator highlights the differences between Kirilov and Abogin, which lead the audience to believe that they are destined to be “enemies” only due to their personality traits and morals as well as socioeconomic class. However, it is the one similarity that Kirilov and Abogin share that turns them against each other and ultimately into fierce enemies. The differences between Abogin and Kirilov and the lives they lead are apparent from the very beginning of the story. The narrator makes sure to address the contrast between the two men’s lives to further emphasize the emotions that they share through loss. Kirilov is described as a grieving doctor who has been almost numbed to all other emotion and everything around him is dark. Abogin, in contrast, is described as “medium height, a white scarf, and a large, extremely pale face, so pale that its entrance seemed to make the passage lighter.” He comes into Kirilov’s house agitated, excited and very hurried to return with...
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...Running head: GRIEF, LOSS AND FINDING MEANING AND PURPOSE Grief, Loss and Finding Meaning and Purpose Darren Pedro Grand Canyon University Psychology for Everyday Life PSY-100 Amanda Laster-Loftus May 21, 2014 Grief, Loss and Finding Meaning and Purpose While dealing with death is never an easy process, knowing how to handle the grieving process could prove to be beneficial to you and those around you. How we deal with our loss will play our in various emotions. In this paper we will take a look at the emotion a person goes through when dealing with death, how a person deals with death in their own way, and finding the meaning and purpose of dealing with grief. Death is never an easy subject to approach. When a person loses a loved one, various emotions come into factor. These emotions trigger feelings which otherwise would not be compromised under normal circumstances. However, the various emotions that a person deals with assist them in the mourning process. There are different stages of emotions a person deals with after having lost a loved one. It is perfectly normal to have experience these emotions and should go through each stage of these emotions. It is believed the common stages of coping with death are as follow: shock and disbelief, sadness, guilt, anger, fear and physical symptoms (Smith & Segal, 2014, p. 1). According to the article done by M. Smith and J. Segal; these emotions are onset early stages in the grieving process. They also stated it...
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...Managing Grief and Culture Bharati Mukherjee’s short story “The Management of Grief” acts as a powerful response to the Air India Flight bombing on which many Indo-Canadian passengers were killed. “Management of Grief” focuses on an Indian community residing in Toronto as they deal with the aftermath of the tragic event. The characters are presented with a guideline for the stages of grief and are pressured to follow it: first denial, depression, acceptance, and finally reconstruction. Since the guideline goes against Indian culture each character in the story struggles to confront two different identities presented by separate cultures when forced to deal with death and grief. The narrative of this story is told from the conscience of Indo-Canadian woman Shaila Bhave as she struggles to deal with the loss of her husband and two sons. The opening pages set the tone of community, a strong value in Indian culture as Shaila’s home is filled with various neighbours and families making Indian tea, as well as a representative from the Indo-Canadian Society. All of whom join together with the intention and hope of aiding the victims’ families in their grieving. To further emphasize the strong sense of community, Shaila reflects on the day Kusum and her family moved in across the street. Upon moving, the new family invited the neighbourhood into their home for a housewarming party where they prepared traditional Indian cuisine while their daughter performed a dance. Shaila reflected...
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...PDP Toolkit » Change Management » prepare for change » Knowing » The Change Curve The Change Curve The Change Curve is based on a model originally developed in the 1960s by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross to explain the grieving process. Since then it has been widely utilised as a method of helping people understand their reactions to significant change or upheaval. Kubler-Ross proposed that a terminally ill patient would progress through five stages of grief when informed of their illness. She further proposed that this model could be applied to any dramatic life changing situation and, by the 1980s, the Change Curve was a firm fixture in change management circles. The curve, and its associated emotions, can be used to predict how performance is likely to be affected by the announcement and subsequent implementation of a significant change. The Change Curve The original five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – have adapted over the years. There are numerous versions of the curve in existence. However, the majority of them are consistent in their use of the following basic emotions, which are often grouped into three distinct transitional stages. Stage 1 – Shock and denial The first reaction to change is usually shock. This initial shock, while frequently short lived, can result in a temporary slow down and loss of productivity. Performance tends to dip sharply, individuals who are normally clear and decisive seek more guidance and reassurance...
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...Loving the Bad Man- Movie Review Louise Lomeland CRIS303-B02 Liberty University Online Abstract The movie Loving the Bad Man is about a traumatic experience; rape of a young woman and the man who raped her. Christine Thompson is a young Christian woman loved by those who know her and her family, father, mother, and brother. Christine is raped by a young angry man named Mike Connor and she becomes pregnant and gives birth to a boy she names Arthur. Mike is committed to prison for 10 to 20 years for his crime on the day Christine gives birth. They come together through Christine’s faith in God and His word for forgiveness. Christine’s life gets worse before it gets better, while Mike’s life, although in prison gets better before it gets worse. Everyone close to Christine and Mike are affected by the traumatic event. The Nature of the Crisis Presented Christine Thompson is a young woman who lives with her family. Her mother, Marion who is a stay at home mom is supportive and loving, and shares the Christian faith with Christine, her father, Ed who is also supportive and loving but does not see eye to eye with Christine and her belief standard of faith, and her brother, Joey who is a DJ music player at local venues. Christine works as a cashier in a store. A male co-worker Cole Parker, who is also a Christian is interested in Christine and asks her for a date however, Christine declines stating she does not date. Driving home one night after a church fellowship meeting...
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...Running head: STAGES OF GRIEF 1 Healthy Grieving: A Comparative Analysis Author Grand Canyon University: HLT 310 Summer 19, 2016 2 HEALTHY GRIEVING: A COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS Stages of Grief Introduction Here in this essay we examine the stages of grief as defined by the renowned thanatologist Elizabeth KüblerRoss. In conjunction with this review of grief we will consider the work of Nicholas Wollsterstorff in his epic Lament for a Son, written to express his still lingering grief at the loss of his son Eric, who tragically fell to his death while mountainclimbing at the age of 25. As we study the process of grief, one must bear in mind that for people suffering grief a range of emotions will come to the forefront"disbelief, sadness, anger, guilt, and selfreproach, panic, anxiety, loneliness, listlessness, and apathy, shock, yearning, numbness, depersonalization" (Bruce 2007) . Also, one must remember that grief is a natural response to losing a loved one. While looking at grief’s lingering effects, we will also discover how Wolsterstorff managed to find meaning, even joy, after the loss of his son. Stages of the Grieving Process All people experience grief and mourn at the loss of a loved oneit is a universal experience. To understand the grieving process better, it helps to focus on the five stages of grief as proposed by KüblerRoss in response to ...
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...Losing someone you love deeply can cause all kinds of difficult emotions. Grief is usually the natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering when someone you never expected will be lost forever was taken away from you. In the novel Stone Carvers by Jane Urquhart and the movie, Birdsong based from the novel by Sebastian Faulks, the protagonist both undergo grief during the Great War. Through all these sorrows, they both have similar ways to cope with their undergoing emotions. In coping with their repressed feelings, they need someone to open up their past and their wounds. When Eamon was declared missing in action at war, Klara Becker tried to hide her grief by isolation away from the society, ignoring every little being that...
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...Disenfranchised Grief. This may be a word that you are not familiar with but it is a feeling that you may have dealt with. This is a term genially used to describe the grief that a person feels after the loss of a something that is not acknowledged by society. This is generally the feeling that pet owners feel after the loss of a pet. Around 55% of American citizens have at least one family pet in the household. You might have one yourself. When you lose a pet one thing that many do not think about or want to think about is how to properly dispose of the body. There is no socially acceptable or emotionally reasonable way to properly let go of your deceased pet. For many states, they will pick up your deceased animal, but it must be placed in two black trash bags and labeled properly. This can be very hard for a person to do right after the loss of a pet, or for a child to understand....
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...Expressions of grief are apart of human nature. Yet in our continuously modernizing world how one expresses such an emotion is subject to public approval. This is especially the case in incidence of loss of a public figure. The Queen is a perfect example of how expectations of emotional expression are placed on public figures. With the media at play and tabloids reporting the lives of famous individuals every move, the private and individualized expression of emotions is not subject to the approval of the viewing public. “…the involuntary loss through death of a human being who is viewed as significant…” ( Loftlan 1985, p.172). The definition of grief as outline in Lofland’s article The Shaping of emotion: The case of Grief. The move The...
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...Treat me, how you want to be treated or else! Death can bring out the worst of behaviors out of people in mourning. I’ve worked in the Death Care industry in one way or another my whole life. I’ve experienced some very rude and offensive people during one of life’s darkest moments. I’ve been cursed at, lied on, and even threatened with violence from grieving families. I’d like to tell you a couple of times, I was very offended by customers I was serving. When a person dies, depending on the circumstances surrounding the death, many changes can occur to the remains. I once had a case where the deceased had been on a ventilator for over a month, while family members argued over pulling the plug. This caused a major case of edema, which is an excess of watery fluid collecting in the cavity or tissues of the body. As anyone can figure out, this caused a great amount of swelling to all parts of the body including the head and face. The Funeral Director advised the family of the outcome and what could be done from an embalmers position. Against the professional opinion of the Director, the family opted for a public viewing anyway. Upon the family’s arrival for the private viewing time with their loved one, they entered the chapel and started ranting and raving, that the person in the casket was not their loved one and how they were going to “sue our asses”. If ever there was a time I felt unsafe it was at that very moment. They began to vandalize the facility and really trash the...
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